This is my nightmare!

My favorite Jason Siegel quote from "I Love You Man" pretty much sums up the Phillies series. (More on this at the end of the post)

It's like, really? Are we really doing this crap again?

We all know the stats. We gave up 3 runs in 3 games, and we lost two of them. Unreal. Totally unreal. The road is not a good place for the Gyros.



It's a serious problem when we can't score three runs a game. Seriously, if we average three runs a game in that series, we sweep. Aggghhhghgh!

A nice wall post I received on Facebook yesterday from Kevin C.:

"Phils win 2 out of 3 by scoring 3 runs total. New idea for Kuiper/Krukow... Yell "goaaaalllll!!!!"-- like they do in soccer-- whenever the Giants score a run."

God... it's soooo true.

It's even more upsetting when we're getting shut out by an over-the-hill Pedro Martinez. I know that he's one of MLB's all-time greats, but the man is old balls and he was picked up off the dung heap because no one else wanted him. Either he's got a lot in the tank, or we're pathetic. Maybe a little of both.



Also, with each wasted Lincecum start, Timmy is in danger of falling significantly behind in the Cy Young Wins race. His numbers are sick, but the wins need to be there. He can't win one with 14 or 15 wins.

Let's just put this Philly series behind us. Gotta move forward, gotta keep the faith that the bats will awaken. We're getting Freddy Sanchez back soon, which is much needed. More importantly though, we've gotta get Pandoval back. He's been hitting like an injured man. I have to believe that if it were earlier in the season, he'd have already been on the DL. This whole "playing through pain" thing may be worsening his injury. It's a fine line.

But what choice do we have? None. He has to play until he can't walk. We have no choice. At the same time though, we may not have a Kung Fu at better than 75-80% for the rest of the season.

In his past 4 games, he's gone 1-12 with zero RBI. That's the difference when the margins are so thin.

New batting helmets are awesomely bad

-- The new and "improved" batting helmets are absurd, ridiculous, and hilarious. During the game, I got a text from my buddy Raph about it:

"Dude. Shane Victorino looks like a bobblehead with that new helmet."

So true.

The helmets are designed withstand impacts up to 100 mph, while the current helmets are technically rated to take a pitch of only 70 mph. While no one on this side of Timmy Wakefield is throwing 70, the new helmets are simply laughable.


They're oversized, jagged, distracting, and seriously look like some kind of headgear more suited to a "specially-abled" hemophiliac that rides the short bus on his way to some sort of social interaction therapy.

Jeff Francoeur, a cool dude, said of them, "No, I am absolutely not wearing that. I could care less what they say, I'm not wearing it. There's got to be a way to have a more protective helmet without all that padding. It's brutal. We're going to look like a bunch of clowns out there." (MLB.com)

Krook & Kuip are with Frenchie and the Flyin' Hawaiian on this one. After Victoreenz went 0-2 in that monstrosity, he switched back to his old helmet, which prompted some good ol' Krook & Kuip banter, in which they both not-so-subtly made fun of the new helmets and would have refused to wear them.

Kuip remarked, "I might wear it while I was hitting, but then I'd switch back to the other one if I got on base."

Krook jabbed at the helmets, saying the players would fight it and they might wear it in 15 years at best.

Regardless of the safety thing, baseball players don't want to look silly. They want to look cool, they want to feel cool. They are actually very vain creatures. Hence the jewlery hanging out of the jerseys, unnecessary wrist bands, eye black at night, etc.

They will fight these stupid-looking helmets until they get drilled in the head like David Wright, who has no problem with being safe after getting nailed by a Matt Cain fastball a few weeks back.

NEWS UPDATE:

David Wright has reverted to his old batting helmet, saying, "It's just not comfortable. The last thing I need to be worrying about in the box is trying to shove it on my head." (NY Daily News)

So, there you go Rawlings/MLB. Improve this thing or they won't wear it.

On to Milwaukee, Zito vs. Suppan today. It's go time.

A little Dodgerhater mojo

If you haven't seen I Love You Man, you're missing out. My favorite aspect of the movie's awesomeness is the dedication that Peter and Sydney (Paul Rudd and Siegel) have for the legendary band Rush.

Rush has been one of my favorite bands since I first heard them years ago. I think it's only appropriate to include these inspirational lyrics from my favorite song, "Limelight."

All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage

Living in the limelight
The universal dream
For those who wish to seem
Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation
Get on with the fascination
The real relation
The underlying theme

The Giants are in the limelight. The players and us fans dare to dream, and it's time to lock it up, Jobin.

The Giants found a lucky Penny, Posey called up

Where were you when you first heard the news?

I received multiple text messages this morning and confirmed this while Facebooking and driving on 101.

Our Golden Boy Buster Posey was indeed called up today-- something that we were hoping for, but not expecting. Sabean and Bochy have been noncommittal about calling up either of our blue chippers all year.

It really makes all the sense in the world.

With Bengie Mo walking on rubber legs and Eli Whiteside being a weak offensive option, this really seems like a no brainer. It also means that Bengie's quad injury is not progressing well.

We don't know how much PT Buster will get, after all, we're in a playoff chase here. More than anything though, this will give Buster a sense of what it takes to play at an extremely high level. He'll catch bullpen sessions for major league pitchers, he'll get to take a few hacks, and most importantly, this cup of coffee in the bigs will give him a crash course on what to expect next year when he inevitably takes over the starting catcher position. Rookie catchers are traditionally eased into things, but I'm anticipating a rapid fire transition.

PS: Those of you in fantasy keeper leagues, I hope you have the #1 waiver priority, otherwise, you ain't landing him.

It'll be exciting to see this youngster. I cannot wait!


Penny looks like a Silver Dollar

Or maybe a gold Sacagawea!

These coin jokes doing anything for you? No? Okay.


So, still any doubters out there?

(Crickets chirping)

Look, as I said before, this was a great move. None of us expected an 8 inning shutout performance, as Aaron Rowand said during the postgame show, but I fully expected a quality start. At this point, a 6 inning, 3 ER outing would've been awesome. Consider how badly Joe Martinez and Ryan Sadowski pitched in each of their three final starts for the Gyros.

In case you forgot, their final three starts combined resulted in a 9.48 ERA and disasters all around.

The whole point in this is this is a veteran guy battling for his career and a contract next season. He's a big, burly, surly son of a bitch out there with a chip on his shoulder-- the type of wild card you want on your side in a good old fashioned Western shootout or bar fight.

The AL East is a whole 'nother animal, and when you're coming off an injury, trying to get your velocity back, adjusting to a new city, new team, and a new league full of hitters-- not to mention a slugging DH around every corner... well yeah, I'd expect a few struggles too.

And lest we all forget, the Red Sox technically didn't get rid of him; Penny requested his own release, and it was granted. This is simply the perfect situation for the horselike Oklahoman, and Lord knows he made the correct call.

Plus it looks like he can even be better. His fastball topped out at 97 tonight and he was consistently hitting 94-96, which had been a concern. I reckon that if his splitfinger gets back to being a swing and miss out pitch, we've got ourselves a #5 with the stuff of a #2 or #3. God I love this rotation.

He's not a savior, but he doesn't need to be. He needs to be solid and give us a chance to win every fifth day. He's a little bit too down.

Plus he HATES the Dodgers. Rock on big man.


Game Notes & Quirky Observations

-- I'm not as anti-mascot as Mike Wilbon, but I think generally they're pretty lame. That Philly Phanatic though... great! The guy opened up the game by "flashing" the Giants dugout, and dancing around like a sex pervert. Hilarious. Touche Phanatic. Touche.

-- Aaron Rowand truly is the king of the unproductive out. God I hope there's a stat I can find out there about this...

-- Haha! Ryan Howard grounded into to the shift in right field in the second inning. That's gotta really tick a hitter off.

-- Thank God Andres Torres got on base (and got the RBI). I had to see his routine to confirm my suspicions. I'd like you all to know that he uses running gloves. Allow me to explain.

He bats barehanded a la Nate Schierholtz/Vlad Guerrero. But-- in a bizarre twist of fate, whenever he reaches base, he withdraws not one, but two, white batting gloves from his buttocks pocket, and places them on his hands for running only. He must have a really nice manicure he's trying to protect. I've seen him do this multiple times and I'm actually assured by people who have played the game at the college level that this is not totally unheard of.

I only wish he switched chains in the same manner. Like he hits with that huge silvery pit bull chain, then reaches base, calls time, hands that chain to Roberto Kelly, and puts on a sleeker, lighter gold chain for baserunning. Hilarious.

-- Speaking of habits, Krukow took great delight in pointing out "...that The Panda does somethin' I've never seen before. When he's in the field, he chews bubble gum, but when he takes his AB's, he puts in a dip."

Krook and I have noticed the same thing!

And we're not talking about any dip here. Pablo is putting in like a quarter can of Skoal every time. As a guy who chews his share of the stuff, I can say that that is one significant lipper!

It just lends more credence to the fact that ballplayers are extremely superstitious, especially when it comes to their oral fixations... whether it's Skoal, Red Man, seeds, bubble gum, or what have you. Pablo definitely doesn't disappoint in this category.

-- If you haven't noticed, I've begun spelling Mike Krukow's shortened nickname to the more phonetic "Krook" as opposed to Kruk. Because we cannot being thinking of John Kruk while referring to Krook. Not on my watch.

-- Before Uribe slammalammadingdonged that ball about 420 feet into left field, he took two MASSIVE cuts. I could almost sense his homer was coming. Man, he really swings as hard as anyone in baseball. And to think, he was given a non-guaranteed minor league deal coming into Spring Training.


GREAT MOVE SABEAN!

-- I have begun to fast forward through Aaron Rowand's at bats. Messed up, I know. I started doing it this weekend, and was about to do it after Uribe's dong, but the remote fell down and did this crazy football bounce. Naturally it was too far away to get. That remote was clutch! Aaron Rowand went yard.

It was surprisingly, the fourth time the Gyros have done that this year.

-- Ever heard of the website FMyLife? Well in case you're old and haven't, FML has little stories of people's bad life experiences and they all begin with "Today," end in "FML". They may be made up for all I know, but here's one that I'm going to submit. Pretend I'm a Phillie fan:

Today, at Citizen's Bank Park at the Phillies game, I saw Tyler Walker and Jack Taschner warming up at the bullpen at the same time. Then they came in the game one after the other. FML.

-- They didn't give up any runs up there, but mark my words, those two guys and that effed up bullpen are the reason Philly won't repeat as champions.


-- Yesterday on the CSN ticker, did anyone else do a double take when they saw this scroll by?

"Exclusive interview with award-winning rapper Ice Cube on Chronicle Live"

I missed it, can anyone fill me in? Has he abandoned the Dodgers and Lakers and become a Warriors and Giants fan? Did Greg Papa try to be cool and end up looking more white? Comment below please.

-- Sanchez threw a helluva game yesterday. Krook referred to his strike three pitch on Ryan Howard in the 2nd inning as "abusive."

Howard got the last laugh though as he singled in the only run of the game.

-- Colorado won again. Bastards.

-- Never thought I'd say this in a million years, but GO METS!

Coincidence on the Web?

I found it FASCINATING that another site out there threw together an extremely similar article to one found on this very site.

It stretched back further in time for stats and catchers, but delivered the exact same determination that my collegue PJ and I concluded.

This of course has to do with the August 2 article from Dodgerhater entitled "The Zito Reality: Anyone But Bengie" which can be found right here.

I would love to accuse this other author of seeing this first for inspiration, but I just can't say that that is the case, as many Giants fans noticed a considerable difference between Zito and various backstops.

Perhaps great minds think alike. Of course perhaps something sinister is afoot.

Regardless, the Dodgerhater Zito article was factchecked, edited and published more than two weeks prior to this other article being published on a far more trafficked site on August 17th.

The other article can be found right here.

Maybe I'm just giving The Dodgerhater too much credit. Oh well.

PS: Guess who caught Zito's 8.1 inning gem on Saturday.

Eli Whiteside.
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I've made some changes to the site, including some "commercial stuff" right below each post. Doesn't look pretty, but I had to do it. I encourage you email feedreaders to come to the actual site from time to time! Thanks for reading.

Brad for Pennies

According to Jon Heyman of Sports Illustrated, the Gyros have signed righty Brad Penny. The Giants only have to pay him a prorated portion of the veteran's minimum, which at this point is less than $100k.

Great move.

Even if the guy ain't what he used to be, he's better than Joe Martinez at this point. Plus he's a National League guy and will love to be back in the NL West.

Atta boy Sabean!

1) Lincecum
2) Zito
3) Cain
4) Sanchez
5) Penny

With Penny solidifying the number 5 spot and Randy Johnson coming back to the bullpen soon, we're absolutely stacked.

One day at a time...

Tied for the Wild Card: It's a whole new ballgame

I'd like to begin by saying the following:

If it were even possible for me to love the game of baseball and the San Francisco Giants any more, well it happened.

I have re-fallen in love with this game and this team.

It's some serious man love.

What we've seen from this ragtag group of youngsters, out-of-their-prime veterans, and scrappy perfomers is simply mind boggling.

More specifically, if your brooms are still in their closets, you should really consider taking them out and bungee cording them to your mailboxes in front of your house... perhaps attach them to your roofracks of your cars as you drive around; an even more redneck version of the window flag.


5-1 on the Homestand, a sweep of the Rocks

Lincecum gave us what we needed on Friday. A true Timmy-esque shutdown job.

Zito threw the gem of his tumultuous Giants career on Saturday, going 8.1 innings of one run ball. He was truly masterful, save of course the bomb he gave up to the Hawpester in the 9th.

No one knows what Romo and Affeldt were doing in that game, but we pulled it off, and it was amazing.

Kung Fu's HR's on Friday and Saturday were incredible, especially considering his injury.

Things just looked like they were inevitably going the Giants way, even with the blowout they sustained against Arizona on Thursday and the near 9th inning meltdown on Saturday. There was a certain confidence about these guys that somehow permeated the physical and media barriers that separate us from the team. It's like exuberant confidence by osmosis.

This team is the embodiment of what the baseball gods smile upon from their perch.


Sunday Best

From the beginning of Sunday's game, I will admit, I didn't feel a good vibe. Cain did not look sharp from the get go. The abominable call at first base with Cain covering didn't help my uneasiness.

Then there were those back to back jacks from Helton and Tulo.

I was squirming in a major way at that point.

When you're only down 1 game in the Wild Card race, it seems difficult to have two season-turning plays. Of course that is generally reserved for seasons that need to be turned around.

Not in this case.

The oft-maligned Edgar Renteria, a guy making $8 million this year and next, a guy that Sabean haters target mercilessly, showed up in a big way.

Before his at bat in the 6th inning, I stared at the television graphic of his stats with serious disdain. 3 home runs.

I muttered, "This would be a great time for your 4th homer you bum."

Boom. RBI Double off the wall. Giants down 4-2. I'll take that.

The bottom of the 7th came around with the Gyros down 5-2.

One thing led to another, and Edgar came up with the sacks full of Gigantes.

Instead of saying out loud what I'd muttered an inning before, I simply thought about it; and I definitely wasn't the only one. Bases loaded, down 3? What else do you think about?

Boom, just as we were all praying for the unthinkable, there it was. Grand Salame time. He almost hit the ambulance parked behind the left field wall!

Not only did this incredibly clutch swing of the bat give us a 6-5 lead, it renewed all kinds of hopes and dreams. Naturally, it renewed our dream of winning the game and sweeping the Rockpile for a share of the wild card. More importantly though, it renewed our faith in a player who for so long this season has disappointed us in so many ways.

Renteria has not been horrible. He has had timely singles and such. He's made a couple good plays. He went after Russell Martin in a brouhaha.

His best quality, not surprisingly, is his "clutchness". Look at this magnificent table below that I've put together for you. If you are reading this in an email newsfeed, you have to click here to see it.



Don't freak out, those stats are correct. A lot of the situations overlap.

But seriously, look at those numbers. Obviously your approach at the plate is going to be different without runners on, as you'll swing aggressively, but c'mon, there's no denying that this man does his best work when it counts.

Renteria has 24 ribeye steaks this year with runners in scoring position (RISP) and two outs. That, my friends, is the definition of clutch.

The game, and more importantly the season changed today with one swing of the bat from Edgar.


Quirky game notes and observations:

-- If you didn't catch this stat on CSN or in the papers, Barry Zito is now 105-4 when he gets 4 runs of support or more.

-- Zito this year has received 1 run or less of support in 12 out of his 26 starts and has received ZERO runs of support in 9 starts. Unconscionable.

-- Zeets is 4-2 with a 1.77 ERA since the all star break. His last two starts have been against the Rocks, and has combined for 14.1 innings, 1 ER, and 11K. That's a 0.62 ERA. Yeehaw.

-- Zeets got a curtain call. Well deserved.

-- How often are we going to score 9 runs when Kung Fu goes hitless?

-- Aaron Rowand walked. Alert the media.

-- Affeldt's recovery on Sunday to escape a jam and strike out both Garrett Atkins and Carlos Gonzalez was absolutely monstrous. He was able to shake off an ugly performance in Saturday's 9th inning to throw some absolute filth up there. The backdoor curveball to punch out Atkins was disgusting, and his subsequent ring-up job of Gonzalez was enough to fire anyone up. Especially him.

If you couldn't tell he was pumped up to exorcise some mound demons in the 8th inning, well, then you were blind. He was screaming and pumping his fists in a way that would make K Rod and Papelbon look like shamed altar boys. Rock on dude.

-- Eli Whiteside? Absolute Beast. Bengie Who?

-- Ryan Rohlinger's 2 RBI single on a 1-2 pitch was absolutely huge. Busted it wide open.

-- Alex Hinshaw coming in to a huge game in the 6th inning? Not so good. Bochy, come on man... you knew better than that. If you wanted to get his feet wet for the '09 season... you accomplished that. They're so wet that he's got a case of trench foot. Not a wise substitution.

-- Anyone remember Ryan Garko and Freddy Sanchez? Our two huge acquisitions have been nowhere to be found. With Sanch on the DL and Garks mired in a slump, they've been non-existent. The very guys that were here all along are the ones winning the games. Funny how that happens.

-- Garko hasn't started since the 26th, and is 1-10 since August 24th.

-- Was it me, but did Garko's shades today look like some kind of fashion glasses? They had shiny gold stems. Almost as if they were daytripping Ray-Bans or something. WTF Garks? If you need a tip for glasses, go with the extreme orange mirrored Fred Lewis glasses or the transparent yellow/orange NRA militia glasses that Jeff Kent used to wear.

-- Speaking of Jeff Kent. Good to see that son of a bitch back at the yard in a real hat. We will never forget that you played for the Dodgers, but we will forgive you. Kent was an absolute beast for us, and is a future hall of famer. I'm glad we've all reconciled. They put his picture up on the Wall of Fame with his moustache. Excellent. True sleaze.

-- With the stakes so high, have you ever in your life seen so many mound visits between Bochy, Dave Righetti, Jim Tracy, and Bob Apodaca? I think we're talking record for a 3 game series. I swear there was a mound visit per inning. Not even including the catchers.

-- Brian Wilson threw 4 pitches to Troy Tulowitzki on Sunday. All four were 100 mph. I was counting. Pure filth.

-- If you were on a hike in Colorado and saw Todd Helton emerge from a sheer cliffside with a bloody elk carcass strung over his shoulders and a .300 Magnum elephant gun slung over his arm, would you be surprised? Mountain Man. Why he's not Coors Light's national spokesperson is beyond me.

-- Remember how Clint Barmes hurt himself a few years ago, derailing a .400 season to that point? He was carrying huge pieces of vennison up his stairs with Todd Helton and fell down. Love it.

-- New idea for a reality show. Bear Grylls, Todd Helton, and Ted Nugent shoot guns and eat wild game. That's it.

Huge series coming up. Three in Philly, three in Milwauks. It's go time boys. The road is where the playoffs are made! We come back to play the streaking Padres and the Blue Bastards de Los Angeles.


I will leave you with some inspirational quotes from Krook & Kuip from the postgame wrap on CSN.

Kuip:

"For those who proclaimed Tuesday morning that this team was dead, and it was over for them... they're gonna have to try again.

Krook:

"The clown that said that needs to eat his words."

"I've got two words to say about this weekend: I'M IN!"



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