Cabrera disaster gets worse...

For those of you who haven't heard the latest disturbing details on how Melky Cabrera tried to cover up his testosterone use, the New York Daily News dropped a massive bombshell with this article.

"In a bizarre attempt to avoid a 50-game drug suspension, San Francisco Giants star Melky Cabrera created a fictitious website and a nonexistent product designed to prove he inadvertently took the banned substance that caused a positive test under Major League Baseball’s drug program.

 But instead of exonerating Cabrera of steroid use, the Internet stunt trapped him in a web of lies. Amid the information-gathering phase of his doping case last month, his cover story unraveled quickly, and what might have been a simple suspension has attracted further attention from federal investigators and MLB, the Daily News has learned."

(Full Story Here)

I've already had enough of this story. I just want him gone and this over with, but the black mark on our season isn't seeming to go away.

It's one thing to do anything to improve your baseball ability, but to be so calculating about his drug use is beyond comprehension. This was a plan that he and his handlers hashed out and attempted to implement. Simply unbelievable.

Anyway, on to the Dodgers series. BEAT LA!

How could you, Melky?

Earlier today-- Betrayal Wednesday-- I was speaking to a co-worker about the Giants' win the night before.

We spoke about Belt smashing the ball and hot-dogging like a dope, we touched on Posey's great slugging percentage, and how sweet of a pickup Scutaro is turning out to be. Despite Monday's demolition at the hands of Washington fresh in our minds, our conversation was purely positive.

How could you, Melky?

Then he paused and said, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think for the first time since maybe Bonds and Kent were around, we actually have a pretty respectable lineup."

After one game-- one game-- of our Cabrera-Posey-Sandoval-Pence heart of the order, we were beginning to feel confident.

Less than two hours later, my phone began buzzing in my pocket.

Boom. ESPN text. CSN Bay Area text. Tweets in my inbox.

I had to read them twice for my brain to process what I was seeing. What was I seeing?

I was seeing the collective heart of Giants fans being broken and our guts punched in. I was seeing words that made no sense-- but yet they were real.

We are a unique fanbase in more ways than one. People make fun of us for voting 225 times apiece for the all-star game and for all the animal hats (and deservedly so), and all the other weird little quirks that have come to define us as a group.

But we LOVE our team, and we stand behind our players once they have proven themselves. You get big hits and throw shutdown ball in tough games and we'll support you to the best of our abilities. Look at the love Bonds got and still gets. Look at the support Lincecum gets even during an abominable season.

The point is, we stick with our players-- almost to a fault once they've shown us something.

Even when a player hasn't shown anything but intermittent glimpses of productivity like a Belt or a Schierholtz, there are still gobs of fans out there defending them to the death-- cursing Bochy for not playing them every day.

The point is, we are forgiving and loving as a fanbase.

But this...

...this may be unforgivable.

For Melky to do this-- to do something so dumb is simply incomprehensible. Everyone wants an edge out there, but how foolish can you be? Were you not paying attention earlier this year when your own teammate, Guillermo Mota, got suspended for 100 games? Did you not see the controversy over Ryan Braun's MVP award last season? What the hell, man?

How could you risk everything you've accomplished in this town? There are people wearing delivery uniforms and stupid hats with bowties in the stands rooting for you. There are sleazeballs selling self-printed "Melkman" shirts on the Embarcadero. We voted you into the all-star game. We gave you a new home.

WE LOVED YOU.

And in the end, it was nothing but a lie. Whether that testosterone helped you get all those league-leading hits or won you that Camaro in Kansas City during the Mid-Summer Classic, we'll never know. What we do know is that you let us down. We believed in you, and you let us down.

Not only that, but this team is in a pennant race and an NL West fight against our hated rivals, and you'll be nowhere to be found. You'll be off in some faraway land with another betrayer named Angel Villalona.

Part of me wants you to just stay in the Dominican and never come back. The other part of me thinks that now you'll be more affordable to sign next season-- but then do we want you back at all?

I don't know what to think right now. I really don't.

What I do know is that you chose to let everyone down when we needed you most, and that may just be unforgivable.

Good news is, it's still May...

The bad news? We're not very good, and there isn't a lot to suggest that we'll get better.

Would Brian Wilson have given up a dong to Marco Scutaro to blow the game? Maybe. Maybe not.

Would we do better if our knee-jerk reactions to send Brandon Crawford down to Fresno came true? Maybe. Maybe not.

Would we have won a couple more games lately if Panda hadn't have gone on the DL or if we had Freddy Sanchez back and healthy? Maybe. Maybe not.

Even with Sandoval, Sanchez, and Wilson, there's just nothing there to suggest that we'd be a significantly better team.

It's so hard to be positive these days, what with the consistent defensive ineptitude and the offensive futility.

Do we have heart and scrap? Sure, but what good is effort when the result is constant frustration and missed opportunities?

The problem with this roster and with our minor leagues for that matter, is that there is no hope in sight. There's no Bryce Harper in Fresno or Richmond-- hell, there aren't even any Brandon Belts down there. 

Right now, the Giants are who they are, and who they are just isn't good enough. We've got a solid bullpen-- better than most of the league. We have a great starting rotation, despite Lincecum consistently pitching like a 5th starter rather than an ace. After that, you know, we're not good. The eight guys on the field, whomever they happen to be on a given day, are just not playoff caliber as a unit.

We have 3 above-average hitters (Sandoval, Posey, Cabrera), two starting caliber players (Pagan, Blanco), and the rest are AAA players. Say what you want about that statement, but the remainder or our hitters are borderline major league players and none are blue chip prospects. Belt, Crawford, Pill, Arias, Sanchez, Culberson, Schierholtz, Huff, Theriot, Burriss, Gillaspie... I mean, what do you expect from those guys?

Honestly.

I see exactly what you should see out of a lineup that is 38% (or at best 50%) reliable. It is just is what it is. Belt should be better than he is, but he's lost and nervous, same with Crawford. There's no real solution or explanation for their offensive struggles (and defensive struggles in regard to Crawford). Do you send them down so that they can play with less pressure and regain confidence? Who then takes their places? Are we then a better team?

There's simply no answer or solution, which is the most disheartening part about rooting for this particular team. We don't have the pieces to land a big player via trade, and when you look at 2013 free agents, the chance of landing the two biggest free agents to be, Josh Hamilton and Andre Ethier, the dream just dies. Our best chance to improve is to get Lincecum pitching up to his capabilities, get Sandoval back, get Buster's bat going consistently, and to play good defense.

What we've learned thus far is that we simply cannot depend on the development and success of Brandon Crawford or Brandon Belt-- the two biggest wild cards on this roster. With so much dead weight in the lineup and such awful defense, the best we can hope for is a .500 team, which is exactly what we have.

The good news is that it's only May, and it's a long season. A lot can change, and yet, a lot could stay the same. Let's hope for the best.

So far, so weird...

I believe by definition, that the first 7 games of this season have been a mixed bag. We've been swept, we've been embarrassed, we've been disappointing.

But simultaneously, we've been exciting, we've been heroic, and we've been promising.

Only with the Giants could such contrasts hold so much value at the same time.

I mean, we've got Tim Lincecum on one hand-- "The Ace"-- with the worst ERA in all of baseball.

Then we've got Barry Zito, the "Useless Money Pit", with the best ERA in the league.

I can't explain any of it, and I don't believe anyone else can either, but things are looking up thanks to a suddenly viable offense and at least two of our starters settling down and nearly throwing no-hitters back to back.

Thoughts and musings:

-- It sure is nice to see Bumgarner and Cain settle down and dominate the way they should. Bum took a no-hitter into the 6th in Denver on Thursday, and Cain threw a one hit shutout in the home opener on Friday.

I wish I had a cool stat about those performances, but all I know is that Cain's one hitter was literally the best Opening Day pitching performance by a Giant ever.

-- Lincecum's struggles are serious, and they're not going away. This is reminiscent of a couple Augusts ago when he couldn't strike out his grandmother and effed up his mechanics. Krukow says his release point is off. I don't know. I'm not a pitching coach, but he is seriously off, and when he's off, he's the worst pitcher in baseball-- even worse than Zito. At least when Zito is awful and disgraceful, all he does is walk guys. Lincecum hangs balls up there like batting practice, which is much worse.

I have faith that he will find his groove again sometime this season, but it isn't just something that gets fixed overnight by finally sleeping in your own bed or lighting up a doobie.

-- This is why I'm comfortable giving Matt Cain $112.5MM and I'm becoming a little more skeptical of committing more to Lincecum.

-- Good Lord! Who are you people and what have you done with the Giants' anemic offense? As we speak, we're in the top two in the National League in runs per game. Isn't that incredible? So much of it is thanks to our new acquisition, Melky Cabrera, whom I thought wasn't very good.

Well! Thank you for proving me wrong and then making me eat dirt Melkman! You've really impressed all of us so far.

Dude. He's hitting .414.

-- The Brandon Belt thing is getting uglier. Re-enter stage right, Nate Schierholtz, who managed to hit two home runs in his only start of the season. How can you keep a guy like him buried on the bench now? How can you sit Huff, who now has a HR to go along with a .990 OPS?

Hell, how can you sit Pill (.333 avg, 2nd on team) or Hector Sanchez (.300, 3 RBI) in favor of Belt?

You can if, and only if, you are 100% committed to Belt being the 1B of the future, at the expense of current ballgames. Some argue that Bochy should be doing this, because he pretty much promised to do as much.

Well, I am of the opinion that Brandon Belt, as talented as he is, and as good a hitter as he was in Spring, needs to produce a little bit while he's in there to warrant more starts.

Every other guy I just mentioned has been as hot as Kate Upton at the plate to start the year, and Belt has looked like a newly-birthed baby giraffe. I think one day he'll be very good, and it might be this year at some point, but I cannot justify playing him over Huff, Pill, Hector Sanchez, OR Nate Schierholtz at this point.

Let's hope he gets his stroke and confidence back the next time he gets a start, because .091 with 5 strikeouts in 11 at bats is not going to cut it on a roster that is suddenly brimming with offensive ability.

-- Jeremy Affeldt is fired until further notice...

-- Speaking of terrible hitting, Angel Pagan seems to be exactly who I thought he was. Paging Gregor Blanco...

-- Let's give Zito some credit where it's due. The guy came out of the sewer to make one of the most impressive starts I've seen since Matt Cain just one upped him on Friday. How he did it? I have no idea, but he did. He showed that he's capable of goodness or perhaps really goodness, if he just has his shit together.

I won't hold my breath for a good season from him because he's teased us before in the first half of seasons, but IF he is able to string together a year with 14 wins and an ERA of 3.50, it will do wonders for our playoff chances and his own confidence... especially with Vogelsong returning on Sunday. It's possible that we could have 5 really good starters-- something we'd love to have.

-- Hector Sanchez seemed to have a lot to do with Zito's comfort level. I am absolutely thrilled by this development. It has a two-pronged effect. Sanchez can flat out rake, and is an ultra-dangerous weapon to have. Seriously? A 22 year old, switch-hitting catcher that makes Zito better? YES PLEASE!

I also like the idea of Sanchez being Zito's personal catcher. It means that there's a little more method to the starting lineup madness every week.



The season is young, and we've had our hiccups, but the ship has almost completely righted itself, and I for one am excited!

Now... let's get Timmy fixed...

Uncertainty is the name of the game

When your fellow Giants fans ask you, 'Are you excited for the season??!!', your automatic response is 'Yeah! Can't wait!'.

Mine is the same. Of course I can't wait. It's the Giants, it's BASEBALL for God's sake. How could one not be excited? I mean, you'd have to be some kind of Communist foreigner not to be excited about the 2012 season.

Beyond that initial excitement for Giants baseball and my upcoming fantasy drafts, I feel very uneasy.

I feel uneasy about the lineup again. I feel uneasy about management's willingness to do what needs to be done about our lack of offense.

I feel uneasy about the Tim Lincecum situation.

I feel uneasy about the Matt Cain situation.

I just don't know what 2012 will bring, and it's beyond "anything can happen, it's a new year" sort of jitters.

For the first time in a few years, I'm not feeling confident. I've always tried to not be a negative fan, but for some reason, I can't shake it right now.

Uncertainty breeds a lack of confidence, and a lack of confidence breeds anxiety, negativity, and a general neurosis-- something that no one wants or needs.

I can't be the only one worried about this season, can I?

Sometimes I fall asleep wondering if Matt Cain will re-sign or if Lincecum wants to stay a Giant his whole career. It scares me to think that we'd lose either of them, but the possibility of losing one or both still exists.

What the hell am I supposed to make of this Huff/Belt/Posey/Pill 1B logjam or the Cabrera/Pagan/Schierholtz/Huff/Belt OF logjam? Are any of these guys any good anyway?

Will Posey return to form? Will Brian Wilson return to his 2010 form?

I just don't know, and no one could possibly know.

Perhaps I've just been watching too much Doomsday Preppers on NatGeo, but I just feel like this roster could possibly be on the verge of chaos or collapse at some point.

With another weak and unproven lineup of hitters with no guarantees of who will be playing where on a given day, I thank God that we still have the pitching staff that we do. I know it'll be there for us to keep us close and prevent things from getting out of hand.

With that said, I'm not a believer in Melky Cabrera or Angel Pagan. I think they're both third outfielders and both 6th place hitters that will probably see time hitting some combination of leadoff and third. Call me negative, because that's the way I am right now.

I wanted Beltran back, even with his injury risks because we had the depth already to fill in for him if he went out. Now we just have two more average players vying for everyday roles.

Hopefully once the season starts, I'll see that things aren't that bad, and that we'll continue to scrap out games they way we always do, but with Arizona (the team that beat us and made the playoffs last season) adding Trevor Cahill to its rotation and Jason Kubel to its already superior lineup, it's just hard to stay positive.

I feel like Arizona got better, but we really didn't-- and that's a depressing thought.

Anyway, thought I'd just rain on everyone's spring training parade and I hope getting all this BS out of my system helps get me into a more positive mood about 2012.

Never really been in to Pagan worship...

Yes, yes, I know it's "Puh-GAHN" versus "Pay-GINN" but his name has always bothered me. I can't help but associate his name with a bunch of weirdos worshiping false gods and casting spells outdoors.

The funny name aside, I'm just kinda 'ehhh' on this trade.

I loved what Andres Torres brought to our team in 2010. His clutch hitting and inspiring play warmed even the frostiest heart of the most cynical Giants fan. It was simply a great story-- a story of perseverance and heart by a fringe major leaguer who overcame ADHD and marginal big league opportunities to become a late-blooming World Series contributor.

I also enjoyed his sleazy walkup music that was obviously borrowed from the soundtrack of a Puerto Rican porno. Yes, the ladies loved Andres...

But, alas, Andres regressed in 2011. He missed some time, and he just lost his stroke. It got to the point where he should no longer have been hitting right handed at all, and his lack of contact was maddening.

Regardless, his upbeat presence will be missed by teammates and fans alike.

As for Ramon Ramirez-- well he didn't have much of a presence off the field. By all accounts, he was the quietest guy on the team. But on the mound, he was pretty damned solid. He's the type that keeps his mouth shut and carries a big stick.

Although he was due a raise via arbitration, I will be sorry to see Ramirez go. He was a lot better than anyone will remember. He stepped up last year with 4 saves, had a great K/BB ratio, and was just great arm to have down in the bullpen.

I know we technically didn't need him, but going into the season with Guillermo Mota makes me a little uneasy, simply because of his age.

With Torres appearing to be in decline, the trade worked out about as evenly as it could have for both teams-- barring some horrible or amazing performances by those involved.

As for Pagan, the move confused me a little.

He arrives as another starting caliber OF onto a roster that already had Schierholtz, Huff, and Cabrera penciled in as starters.

Okay, well Pagan is thought of highly as a potential leadoff hitter. And, of course, since we need one of those, where does that leave Brandon Belt's playing time-- especially because Bochy has already confirmed that Buster will play a decent amount of first base?

I don't know what's going to happen. I think Schierholtz and Cabrera are pretty much set as starters, but between 1B and LF there is Huff, Belt, Pagan, and occasionally Posey to get time.

I think the guy who ends up suffering the most here is Brandon Belt, who still needs seasoning, but can only gain that through playing time. With all of these guys clogging up two positions, I'm almost inclined to support starting Belt in Fresno while keeping Brett Pill up with the team.

It's just kind of a weird situation.

As for Pagan-- I think we will be pleasantly surprised by the pop in his bat. He is also very streaky in that his hits seem to come in quick bunches. Couple here, three the next day, and then boom-- nothing for three games. That part concerns me, as well as his defense.

I'm just glad he has experience playing CF in the cavernous OF of Citi Field, so he will feel comfortable at AT&T.

We'll see how this whole thing shakes out, but I don't expect Pagan to be a real game-changer.