Umps on the take? Russell Martin a bitch? A series to forget.

The headline there says it all.

It's truly difficult to stomach what happened in this three game disaster. Despite our triumphant middle finger of a win today in extras, it still feels like we got swept. We endured the WORST umpiring I think I've ever seen in my life over a series. It was ONE CALL AFTER ANOTHER. If Gary Darling's crew was on the take, they sure as shoot did a terrible job of hiding it... which is why I think they just suck, instead of having zero integrity or decency.

By my count, there were between 8 and 10 HUGE blown calls this weekend... the most egregious of which occurred today.

You all probably saw the games, but there were two obviously blown calls at first when Dodgers hitters should've been out-- one of which tied up the game in the 9th inning and took away Lincey's gem of a game away.

There was one questionable call that could have had Manny picked off at first (which got Bochy ejected). After A.U. Henio upended Russell Martin at home, Kung Fu was blatantly hit on the elbow by McDonald... and after the ensuing brouhaha, he ended up with a strike on him. Then, later after Pandoval did a Saturday Night Fever disco splits move to avoid a tag from Castro, he was called out, and Schierholtz appeared safe at first. Well, Gary Darling reversed the "out" call on Sandoval, but then forgot to watch first base, calling Nate the Great out.

Kruk and Kuip were livid. After the game, Krukow said it was "...absolutely the worst umpiring I've ever seen in a series... and I've seen a lot of games."

Even Greg Papa was pissed in the CSN studios.

---------------------------Quick Side Note--------------------------------

I love JT Snow and he was a great Giant. That being said, he looks worse than Obama up there reading the teleprompter. He's like a zombie on TV. Get this guy a couple of whiskey sours before he goes on. Loosen up bro, you talking about baseball on TV... I hate to say this, but you could really learn something from Bip Roberts. (I know... I can't believe I said it either.)

--------------------------End Side Note----------------------------------

Anyway, the series was pretty much a disaster, and it could've been worse, if the Giants hadn't been able to overcome the terrible umpiring, their own buffoonery in the field, and ineptitude with runners in scoring position. They left 13 guys on base. Not good.

On a more positive note, Timmy once again was the stopper we needed. I love Roy Halladay, but Lincecum is the best pitcher in baseball. The guy literally needs 2 runs to win and will give you at least 8 innings every fifth day.

I sure hope that the victory that Gary Darling & Co. cost him today doesn't leave him a couple votes shy of his second Cy Young. That would be a travesty.

Also, A.U. continues to hit. He stroked one into Mirabelli/Finley alley today and managed to score AND take out the waste of space named Russell Martin.

Yet another dirty French Canadian on the Dodgers who totally sucks. That's right. You separatist jerks are in Canada. You don't get your own country. Go back to France if you don't like it.

A.U. undercut him with gazelle-like speed and wildebeest-like power. Martin ended up on his ass in obvious discomfort. Martin should ride the bench more often, considering he only has 3 HR and 33 RBI on the year. What a loser.

On the next pitch, tempers flared when Pandoval was hit on the elbow by James McDonald. Pablo was about to Kung Fu his ass before being led away.

In a moment that made me fired up to be a Giants fan, the benches cleared and craziness ensued.

Despite no punches being thrown, it was a great moment-- one of the best this season. The crowd went nuts and went into a "Beat LA" frenzy.

The best part could have been Edgar Renteria.

Not hitting much and severely declining in range, Edgar (who wasn't playing) made a beeline for the out of control Russell Martin and attempted to take him downtown to Chinatown.

Hey, he's got the right idea. Giants fans will ease up on you when you go all out like that.

Just like Juan Uribe, who made yet ANOTHER retarded error in the field today. What did he do? He slammed a dong halfway the bleachers in left. And showed up Guillermo Mota...

Expect Mota to drill someone next time... remember he's the guy who sent Prince Fielder into a bloodlust after he nailed the burly Brewers slugger last week.

On to New York.

If I had the money, I'd be there, drunk in the stands telling all the Mets fans to go back to Jersey. (They hate that).

Quick Notes:

-- Russell Martin was wearing a jersey today that said "J. Martin" on the back. What is that about? I guess the Dodgers just suck so badly that they can't even get their own uni's right.

-- The Giants made up another injury so that they could spare the embarrassment and PR nightmare of releasing Rich Aurilia. They probably put a bunch of injuries in a hat and drew "ankle tendonitis" out. Probably more believable than "swine flu" or "lacerated tonsil."

I thought it was over a few weeks ago, and wrote a nice little piece about him that you should check out. I don't expect to see him on the field again. Sorry Rich.

-- I've said the following, out loud, about A.U. Henio twice: "He seriously looks like an alien had sex with a gazelle".

Both times, he's homered. Swear to God.

--Umpire Bill Hohn (the jerk with the moustache) who blew two plays at first base on Monday and called a terrible game behind home plate on Tuesday, has drawn the ire of Atlanta Braves fans as well. This "Bleacher Report" article rails on him too.

He's ejected 5 Atlanta Braves in two games behind the dish this season, including the mild mannered Chipper Jones and Brian McCann.

The McCann incident was particularly absurd, because "Stache" as the article calls him, "...followed B-Mac to the dugout."

-- The Mets have a spot starter brought in from the bullpen to start the series opener. Sounds good. Maybe we can tee off on the SOB.

--A third umpire of Gary Darling's crew, Bruce Dreckman, has also pissed off the masses a time or two. This article details how Dreckman is a hothead who is known to accelerate and exacerbate problems and arguments.

I say break up this hellraising crew.

-- So Bochy and Ron Wotus get tossed... what's the succession if everyone gets thrown out? I guess it would go like this: Bochy, Ron Wotus, Tim Flannery, Dave Righetti, Carney Lansford, Mark Gardner, Roberto Kelly, Billy Hayes. Then what? Player manager? Bullpen catchers? Do Zito and Cain strap on helmets and coach first and third base like kids in Little League? Would they have to forfeit? Very interesting scenario.

I tried to find something about it here in MLB's Official Rulebook, but I don't think they have anything about it. Could this ever happen?

I could've happened today.

With Bochy already tossed, it is conceivable that all of the coaching staff could have been ejected during the brawl for fighting... leaving only a flustered Roberto Kelly to manage his first game.

Kelly would have argued several of the blown calls at the insistence of Aaron Rowand, and gotten tossed. God I hope that happens someday.

It would be AWESOME.

Keep rooting against the Rockies! Onto Queens!