Some very disturbing news has reached my "desk".
From my boy Big League Stew via some Dodger jerk blog that shall remain unplugged:
"...Bonds and the Dodgers winter caravan collided at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles, a Hollywood institution and celebrity hotspot.
...such Dodgers as Matt Kemp, James McDonald, Ramon Troncoso and Fernando Valenzuela (were) already there, (and) the fans' feeding frenzy got that much greater outside when word got around that Bonds was stopping by for brunch."
And from the "Dodger jerk blog" (link to BLS on Yahoo here for sourcing):
"Looks like Mr. Bonds wanted to eat some Chicken and Waffles. He didn't know there were so many Dodger fans inside the building. Fans came out and asked for his autograph. Believe it or not, he did sign. He was in a good mood (I'm not kidding) until a fan gave him a ball and told him [to write] "In the sweet spot."
Wow. I guess he's a rookie. I shook my head. Another fan by my side looked at him and whispered 'Are you nuts?' I knew what was going to happen next.
Bonds snapped. 'You don't say that to me,' he said. 'I'm leaving, I got to go.'"
And apparently Barry left without any chicken and waffles.
All I have to say is BEAT LA!
This kind of boorish behavior is nothing new for disgusting Los Angelinos, whose version of society consists of 10 FM Spanish language radio stations, a porn-infested white trash enclave called the San Fernando Valley, unhealthful air, and a huge assortment of douches making up the majority of the rest of the population.
Here's Barry, a retired man, trying to get some damn soul food, and packs of roving drunken Dodger fans prevent him from doing so. I mean, what kind of sick society are we living in here?
No, he's not going to sign your baseballs if you insult him and say stupid crap. You're lucky he was as gracious as he was.
HE IS THE HOME RUN KING AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.
It would be so easy to sink to the level of Los Bastardos Azules and their criminal gang of Kemps and Valenzuelas, but we can't. Although half of me wishes BLB went all Ivan Drago on everyone (when Drago killed Apollo Creed) and threw people through windshields, did a couple Kevin Nash powerbombs, tombstoned Matt Kemp, and did a Diamond Dallas Page Diamondcutter on Valenzuela.
I just caught myself daydreaming that Barry and I were fighting back-to-back against a gang of ne'er-do-well Dodger fans. Sort of like a Rush Hour meets Walking Tall meets Lethal Weapon 2 kinda thing.
(If you can't see the video above, click here. Best part starts at 1:26)
When we were done kicking all their asses, one of us would smoothly deliver a classic one-liner, and we'd go inside and get our chicken and waffles from Roscoe's.
Back to reality though...
We will take care of the Blue Bastards on the field. And yes, we will make Dodger fans uncomfortable whenever we encounter them.
Just no physical harm, racial stuff, and keep the cussing down around kids (unless a kid starts it!)
More importantly, I really would implore Barry to move back up here to God's Country in NorCal. I know he's got a sweet pad down there in Beverly Hills or whatever, but he's too good for that kind of slumming. We can get him a sick place in Tiburon or Hillsborough or Blackhawk, and he can be honored by Giants fans the way he should on a daily basis.
Anyway, I hope that story got your blood boiling a little bit. And you're gonna wanna click on all those links. The wrestling ones are so effing sleazy. I can't believe any of us used to watch it.
Also, if you went to Fanfest and you have cool pictures or stories, email them to firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll get them on a blog post for Monday.
And get to the Twitter following @TheDodgerhater !