The Bonds Trial is Asinine & You Know it

Barry Bonds is a lot of things... a baseball player, father, and polarizing figure.

He is also a surly, mean guy that makes even the douchiest ambulance-chasing news reporter look like a sympathetic figure.

There are a lot of people that flat out DO NOT like the guy... and I get that. But the Bonds perjury trial has reached a pinnacle of asininity.

The Federal government doesn't enjoy being made a fool of... and I get that. The basis of our legal system is people telling the truth. The fear of God is enough for most people to tell it the way it really happened, but for the select few that are able to lie to entire courtrooms, punishment should come.

Look I get it. Barry probably lied. But you know what? I don't give a shit.

Neither do you. And neither does the Chinese lady on Sacramento Street cutting the heads off live chickens Or the douchebag hedge fund guy with the expense account walking down New Montgomery with a $7.00 coffee in hand and $300 silk tie fluttering in the San Francisco breeze. 95% of Giants fans don't approve of this trial, and I'd be willing to bet that nearly as many taxpayers, baseball fans or not, feel the same way.

And unless this dog and pony show is part of President Obama's economic stimulus package, spending millions of taxpayer dollars on this absurd trial is not only irresponsible, but in direct conflict with what the population wants.

This isn't about Bonds lying. This is about the government and IRS agent Jeff Novitzky not looking like idiots. They were the ones that spent a minimum of $6MM on this trial (although the figure could be as high at $60MM including BALCO investigation).

Imagine how bad it'd look if they spent all that money and they only managed to slap a couple dudes on the wrist, and let Adolf Hitl---- I MEAN Barry Bonds off on an acquittal.

I remarked on Twitter at the beginning of this trial, "I wonder when this pissing contest is going to turn into a shitting contest."

It already has. The prosecution, the defense, Novitzky and his powertripping IRS bretheren-- every one of them comes to the courtroom with a ruler, measuring their johnsons every chance they get.

It's just ridiculous.

Imagine what that money could've been spent on! How about solving murders? Maybe funding a Boys & Girls club in the inner city. Beautifying parks. Painting the Golden Gate Bridge to save Fastrak users 50 cents to cross it for 6 months.

Instead, they're going after a guy with everything they've got just to save face. The government is already a wasteful laughing stock, I'm pretty sure knowing when to walk away from an unnecessary money pit of a trial would be seen as a small step in the right direction.

And lest we forget, as Giants fans, what Barry Bonds did for us:

-- He with Peter Magowan saved this franchise from moving to St. Petersburg, Florida and becoming the Devil Rays

-- He always gave us hope when he came up to bat, even when we were down by a seemingly insurmountable lead
-- His presence on the roster made us relevant every year

-- He, with Willie Mays, were two of the 3 greatest baseball players of all time, and were both Giants, through and through. Not even the Yankees can say they that.

-- He always put people in the seats, even when the team sucked

-- Even when opposing teams took the bat out of his hands, he started rallies from first base

His biggest contribution however, was that he had a huge part in our stadium known as AT&T Park being financed and built.

Without Bonds, would the Giants have been able to secure the massive financing needed to privately build our jewel of a ballpark? Probably not. Without Bonds, would the right field wall be as close as it is? Would there be a "Splash Hit" counter? Would people be floating in McCovey Cove? Would there even be a McCovey Cove?

As much of an asshole as Barry was to teammates, the press, and fans, he truly was the best thing to happen to the Giants since Mays. Without the guarantee of people in the stands for years, the loans to Magowan and Company would have been extremely risky. From there, the options would've been to move to San Jose, desperately seek public assistance for a new park, or relocate to another area for good.

And that nice, burgeoning area known as China Basin? That new UCSF complex wouldn't be down there. Neither would those nice condos or Momo's or any of that. The man may be a bad person, a liar, and totally unlikeable, but what he's done for the Giants organization, us fans, the game of baseball, and the City of San Francisco is totally immeasurable.

I will never forget what he did for our fine organization and neither should you. This trial is asinine and it shouldn't be happening. They should've reached a plea deal 2 years ago. Put the guy on probation for 10 years, make him pay $500,000 toward court fees, and let this be over with.

With opening day around the corner, we shouldn't be talking about this.

Free Barry!

Jose Guillen is who we thought he was... a sleaze

So it all comes out... Jose Guillen is a trasher. Not that we didn't already know that, but the prospect of his power at a cheap price seemed like a no-brainer at the time. It didn't end up affecting the Giants and our magnificent World Series run, but it sure was a good thing that MLB told the Giants to leave Guillen off the playoff rosters.

What if Guillen had been Cody Ross instead of the other way around? What if he was the one hitting clutch home runs, then this HGH news came out? The media, already angry that we won, would love to pile on, just like they all did with Barry Bonds.

Anyway, if you haven't read the story, it basically says Guillen had 50 pre-loaded syringes sent to him while a member of the Giants. Absolutely pathetic considering he had been previously suspended for PEDs as a member of the Royals.

As I see it, he got cortisone shots in the neck, and was shooting HGH in his ass. The guy was a walking chemical, and I for one am glad that he was nowhere near our magical roster of "misfits" as they brought home the World Series.

See the article here: USA Today

Dodger A-holes accost Barry! Bastards!

Some very disturbing news has reached my "desk".

From my boy Big League Stew via some Dodger jerk blog that shall remain unplugged:

"...Bonds and the Dodgers winter caravan collided at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles, a Hollywood institution and celebrity hotspot.

...such Dodgers as Matt Kemp, James McDonald, Ramon Troncoso and Fernando Valenzuela (were) already there, (and) the fans' feeding frenzy got that much greater outside when word got around that Bonds was stopping by for brunch."

And from the "Dodger jerk blog" (link to BLS on Yahoo here for sourcing):

"Looks like Mr. Bonds wanted to eat some Chicken and Waffles. He didn't know there were so many Dodger fans inside the building. Fans came out and asked for his autograph. Believe it or not, he did sign. He was in a good mood (I'm not kidding) until a fan gave him a ball and told him [to write] "In the sweet spot."

Wow. I guess he's a rookie. I shook my head. Another fan by my side looked at him and whispered 'Are you nuts?' I knew what was going to happen next.

Bonds snapped. 'You don't say that to me,' he said. 'I'm leaving, I got to go.'"

And apparently Barry left without any chicken and waffles.

All I have to say is BEAT LA!

This kind of boorish behavior is nothing new for disgusting Los Angelinos, whose version of society consists of 10 FM Spanish language radio stations, a porn-infested white trash enclave called the San Fernando Valley, unhealthful air, and a huge assortment of douches making up the majority of the rest of the population.

Here's Barry, a retired man, trying to get some damn soul food, and packs of roving drunken Dodger fans prevent him from doing so. I mean, what kind of sick society are we living in here?

No, he's not going to sign your baseballs if you insult him and say stupid crap. You're lucky he was as gracious as he was.

HE IS THE HOME RUN KING AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.


It would be so easy to sink to the level of Los Bastardos Azules and their criminal gang of Kemps and Valenzuelas, but we can't. Although half of me wishes BLB went all Ivan Drago on everyone (when Drago killed Apollo Creed) and threw people through windshields, did a couple Kevin Nash powerbombs, tombstoned Matt Kemp, and did a Diamond Dallas Page Diamondcutter on Valenzuela.

I just caught myself daydreaming that Barry and I were fighting back-to-back against a gang of ne'er-do-well Dodger fans. Sort of like a Rush Hour meets Walking Tall meets Lethal Weapon 2 kinda thing.

(If you can't see the video above, click here. Best part starts at 1:26)

When we were done kicking all their asses, one of us would smoothly deliver a classic one-liner, and we'd go inside and get our chicken and waffles from Roscoe's.

Back to reality though...

We will take care of the Blue Bastards on the field. And yes, we will make Dodger fans uncomfortable whenever we encounter them.

Just no physical harm, racial stuff, and keep the cussing down around kids (unless a kid starts it!)

More importantly, I really would implore Barry to move back up here to God's Country in NorCal. I know he's got a sweet pad down there in Beverly Hills or whatever, but he's too good for that kind of slumming. We can get him a sick place in Tiburon or Hillsborough or Blackhawk, and he can be honored by Giants fans the way he should on a daily basis.

Anyway, I hope that story got your blood boiling a little bit. And you're gonna wanna click on all those links. The wrestling ones are so effing sleazy. I can't believe any of us used to watch it.

Also, if you went to Fanfest and you have cool pictures or stories, email them to dantheman85x@aol.com and I'll get them on a blog post for Monday.

And get to the Twitter following @TheDodgerhater !

A great day

If you heard about the now legendary "Giants pitching staff as women" blog, click here.
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Yesterday against the Pirates, Los Gigantes showed up.

It was an extremely emotional day, as there was a a brief on field memorial for former Giants owner and biggest fan, Sue Burns. Kruk and Kuip did a great job up there, and it was certainly well done.

It has been well documented that the Burns family, especially Sue, absolutely adored Barry Bonds-- and he them.

Perhaps it's still too soon for the rest of the world, but Giants fans want Barry back in our lives. Seeing him out there throwing out the first pitch with Rich Aurilia to Sue's daughters, then in the stands with her granddaughters on his knee laughing and joking, in the dugout encouraging Tim Lincecum before the game, and cheering in the owners box during the game was heartwarming. It really was.

Bonds gave us a lot of joy and elation over the years as real Giants fans know. To deny him the dignity of being part of the organization (if he wants to), is simply unacceptable at this point (witch hunt trial pending or not).

As for Sue Burns. Lest we forget, that together with Peter Magowan and the signing of Bonds, the Burns's saved the Giants from moving to hell-- aka Tampa-St. Pete.

Thank you.


LinCYcum in action:

Timmy threw an absolute complete game gem last night. He was only the 3rd Gyros pitcher to throw at least 15 since A-Hole Schmidt did it in 2006, and Gaylord Perry in 1966. Wow.

His offspeed stuff was disgusting filth last night, and was almost unhittable. And of course, our patchwork lineup mustered 4 runs. Woohooo! I certainly groaned when I'd seen that Velez was playing.

BUT

Trade Action:

As you know, we acquired Ryan Garko for A baller Scott Barnes.

I am happy with the Garko acquisition. He hits lefties well, is solid defensively, and can play each corner outfield position. Plus he was a Stanford standout back in the day.


He's also under Giants control, as he'll be up for arbitration after this season.

As for what we gave up in Scott Barnes... well he's been a minor league watcher's favorite unknown prospect along with LF Thomas Neal. Barnes had a 2.85 ERA, and a darn near 9.00 K/9 rate along with 12 wins. Wins cannot be projected obviously, but Barnes has a couple plus pitches and the strikeouts do project to the next level.

I think about it like this... we just drafted LHP Zach Wheeler in the amateur draft. He steps right into the void left by Barnes in the system. Sounds better that way. Barnes isn't ready to contribute yet anyway...

Luckily, we have young pitching to spare!

Now let's get Freddy Sanchez and Josh Willingham!

Jon Miller & Attendance

Jon Miller: Best in the business

Most of us watch the Giants on TV and are delighted to share that experience with Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper, one of the best broadcasting tandems in baseball. I don't need to tell you how awesome they are. Their chemistry is second to none, they are hilarious, and we all enjoy listening to their homerism and baseball know-how.

However, when we're watching at home, we are missing the true genius of Jon Miller and Dave Flemming on the KNBR radio broadcasts.

Flemming, for being a young guy, is simply superb in his delivery and knowledge... he's getting better by the season because he's learning from the best in baseball: Jon Miller.

Miller's diction, knowledge, and unparalleled ability to describe even the most minute details is quite simply incredible.

We are very blessed in the Bay Area to have such excellent broadcasters. Randy Hahn, Drew Remenda, and Dan Rusanowski for the Sharks are top notch. Bob Fitzgerald, Jim Barnett, and Tim Roye are great for the Warriors. Not a huge fan of Glenn Kuiper and Ray Fosse for the A's, but they're certainly not terrible. Greg Papa does a good job with the Raiders, and Gary Plummer is an excellent radio color guy for the 49ers.

Jon Miller is on a whole 'nother level though. Just imagine his baritone voice as he described Barry Bonds's 756th homer. It is simply the most amazing literary description of anything I've ever read or heard:

"Three and two to Bonds. Everybody standing here at 24 Willie Mays Plaza. An armada of nautical craft gathered in McCovey Cove beyond the right field wall. Bonds one home run away from history. (crack of the bat) AND HE SWINGS, AND THERE'S A LONG ONE DEEP INTO RIGHT CENTER FIELD, WAY BACK THERE, IT'S GONE!!! A HOME RUN! Into the center field bleachers to the left of the 421 foot marker. An extraordinary shot to the deepest part of the yard! And Barry Bonds with 756 home runs, he has hit more home runs than anyone who has ever played the game!"

And here's Jon's call of Reuben Rivera's horrible baserunning. Gotta click on that one.

I just cannot say enough about Jon. I've said the two following things to people and actually meant them:

"I could literally listen to Jon Miller describe an almond orchard or a city sidewalk and be thoroughly entertained."

And...

"Dude, I love tunes, but if I was stranded on a desert island, all I'd need was a tape of every broadcast Jon Miller has ever done. Seriously. That's all I would need."

God bless KNBR for its "Midnight Replay" as well. They replay the day's game starting at midnight in its entirety. Many times I will set the sleep button on my radio and fall asleep to Miller and Flem.

For instance, last night, the last thing I remember was Jon Miller describing in detail how Dom DiMaggio once had a 34 game hitting streak (after Joe's mark had been set). In the game Dom's streak ended, he hit a rocketing low line drive towards his brother Joe in the outfield. Joltin' Joe made an incredible catch to save the game and end his brother's march toward 56. Just amazing stuff.

Many of the all-time greats have passed away recently, Ernie Halwell, Harry Kalas, and the like. The best radio men alive right now in my option are Bob Uecker or the Brewers, Jon Miller, and Vin Scully of the hated Dodgers.

I should hate Vin, but he is simply a legend. He does a simulcast both on TV and radio by himself in LA-- truly amazing in its own right.

That is the last compliment to any Dodger employee you'll ever read on this site.

So... anyways, appreciate what we've got here, we've got it good here in Giants land.

Attendance issues

The Giants set another AT&T low attendance mark of of 23,934 Monday night against the Nationals. The crowd looked even sparser than that on television. Granted Washington isn't a very exciting draw and it was cold as hell out there, but this is a hard thing to witness.

We all know about the economy, it is certainly a factor. Another factor is the lack of "wow" factor that Los Gigantes give us. People would show up just to see Bonds hit, and the allure of our beautiful ballpark drew even the most indifferent breed of elitist and hipster to games.

Now, it's the gamers.

Brian Murphy was talking about this on KNBR a few weeks back. He is one of the true Candlestick nostalgists out there and is a huge fan of the home field edge. He said something to the effect of, "I'd rather have 25 or 30,000 real fans out there chanting and burning Dodger pennants in the upper deck, than 41,000 fairweather non-fans out there."

I for one agree with him. Although I wasn't there on Monday, it appeared to have a Candlestick feel to it. Trash was blowing around, people were bundled up in blankets. You could hear isolated hecklers. The serenades of "What's the matter with "so and so"? HE'S A BUM!" was going on the whole game. It seemed like a throwback night, and only the most hardcore of fans show up on a Monday in blustery 52 degree weather to games.

The A's attendance situation is no laughing matter, but when you go out to the Coliseum, you'll see the same type of fanhood being exhibited. Sparse, cold, and passionate.

As for the Giants, the numbers are not what I expected. Through 15 home games last year, their average was 33,824. Guess what this year's is?

33,397.

Huh? They're drawing only 427 less fans? I was sure the figure was going to be uglier myself. The only explanation I can think of is that people with season tickets are not going to the games and are either unable to sell them or unable to give them away.

The park just seems more sparse this year, and it's more than 427 people.

The Giants are playing good baseball though, and we will continue to draw at this solid, yet unspectacular clip.

Brian Murphy and I have no problem with it at all.

Karma's a bitch: Manny "totally devastated!"

Well, well, well. What do we have here?

Manny Ramirez of the disgusting Dodgers has been suspended for 50 games for supposedly taking a banned substance. Excuse me while I celebrate!

In fact, waking up to this news has not only made my day, but could possibly make my week-- we'll see how the Mexican party bus in San Francisco goes on Friday.

The mere fact that this suspension has taken place is not only a victory for Giants fans, but a sign that good still has the edge over evil in this world.

As the shirts say, Osama bin Laden is a Dodgers fan.

According to ESPN.com, Manny will be suspended for 50 games, making him eligible for a return on July 3rd against The Whale's Vagina Padres. He will also lose nearly $8 million dollars!!! Whammy!

Even more interesting about this story is the apparent substance that he took. Ramirez claims that it was a prescription from his physician for a "personal health issue". Naturally the doctor didn't know it was banned and Manny didn't bother with it. A typical refrain.

ESPN's resident character assasin Mark Fairnu-Wada immediately jumped into action. This is the same guy who's made it his life's mission to ruin Barry. Finally he's got some fresh meat. Fairnu-Wada reported to ESPN that the drug "...is hCG -- human chorionic gonadotropin. HCG is a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle."

I did a little indepedent research here (yeah, I Googled it and clicked on the Wikipedia result).

From Wikipedia:

"Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is a glycoprotein hormone produced in pregnancy that is made by the developing embryo soon after conception and later by the syncytiotrophoblast (part of the placenta). Its role is to prevent the disintegration of the corpus luteum of the ovary and thereby maintain progesterone production that is critical for a pregnancy in humans. hCG may have additional functions; for instance, it is thought that hCG affects the immune tolerance of the pregnancy. Early pregnancy testing, in general, is based on the detection or measurement of hCG. Because hCG is produced also by some kinds of tumor, hCG is an important tumor marker, but it is not known whether this production is a contributing cause or an effect of tumorigenesis.

In the world of performance enhancing drugs, hCG is increasingly used in combination with various anabolic androgenic steroid (AAS) cycles. It is included in some sports' illegal drug lists.

When AAS are put into a male body, the body's natural negative-feedback loops cause the body to shut down its own production of testosterone via shutdown of the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis (HPGA). It is a common misconception that estrogen will be elevated post cycle. Generally, estrogen is below a normal level after a cycle.[11] High levels of AASs that mimic the body's natural testosterone trigger the hypothalamus to shut down its production of gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) from the hypothalamus. Without GnRH, the pituitary gland stops releasing luteinizing hormone (LH). LH normally travels from the pituitary via the blood stream to the testes, where it triggers the production and release of testosterone. Without LH, the testes shut down their production of testosterone, causing testicular atrophy.

In males, hCG mimics LH and helps restore and maintain testosterone production in the testes. As such, hCG is commonly used during and after steroid cycles to maintain and restore testicular size as well as endogenous testosterone production. However, if hCG is used for too long and in too high a dose, the resulting rise in natural testosterone will eventually inhibit its own production via negative feedback on the hypothalamus and pituitary."

If you were too lazy to read that, I'll summarize it for you. Either ManRam is pregnant or he was a hardcore juicer and his nutsac shrank up and stopped producing ManJuice. Haha!

It also says that Manny should have his character assassinated in the media the same way Barry's was. But of course it won't be. Manny will get the Clemens treatment... meaning the benefit of the doubt. Which he has gotten so far from Peter Gammons and Tim Kurkjian. Typical.

But not in here.

Definitely sounds like a "personal medical issue" to me!
Even better than this, the Dodgers are now potentially screwed until July-- even though I don't think Manny is capable of that right now (couldn't resist). It pains me to say that they have been rolling, even setting records by winning 13 in a row at home.

The Giants need to take full advantage of this while they can, especially in head-to-head matchups.

All I have to say to the Dodgers is:

HOW BOUT THEM APPLES! MANNY SUCKS!

GO GIANTS!

Timmy Ballgame strikes again!

How awesome is Timmy Lincecum? Totally awesome. Toats McGoats.

The guy is simply THE MAN, and continues to show why he is the best pitcher in baseball. Isn't that amazing? I think what's also amazing is that despite not winning that coveted World Series (overrated anyway... quietly sobbing), we've had the best player in the league for a lot of our franchise's history.

Naturally it's debatable whether Willie and Barry were the best each out of their prime years, but let's think about it for a second. Based on their prime years, the Giants had the best player in baseball-- Willie Mays-- for 15 years (21.5 years with Giants), and then had Barry Bonds 15 years-- 13 out of which he was the best player in baseball. That's 28 years since 1954 that we've had the best player in the universe (up through 2007). I'm going to go ahead and give Lincecum's dominant Cy Young season of 2008 the nod as baseball's best (and seriously, how can you argue?). That makes 29 out of 54 years since 1954 that the Giants have had the most disgusting beast in all the land. That's 54%!

Absolutely incredible.

I'm assuming that only the Yankees can rival that sort of disgusting filth. Go Giants.
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Quick Cubs series wrap up:

What on earth are we doing flying to Chicago for a two game series? Seriously? It's like, c'mon scheduling jerks. Now we have to go to Colorado? What the hell was the point of that? I've had my beefs before with the moronic schedulers at MLB before. I'm just sick of the asinine stupidity.

I'm also sick of constantly playing the same 4 damn teams every day for a month. Other than opening with 3 against the Brew Crew and these last two against the Cubbies, we've played 20 games solely against NL West dopes. Before we get to Washington on May 11, we will have played 25 out of 30 games against these boring jerks. Enough! I need some variety!

Anyway, as is our M.O., we couldn't score any runs against stupid Ryan "Dumpster" Dempster and Los Ositos on Monday, while Jonathan Sanchez gave up 4 runs in only 4 innings of work. The 4 earned don't tell the whole story. He was all over the place, walking 6, and hitting a batter. He threw 101 pitches in 4 IP... that's not good. As Eddie Money would put it, Sanchez had "No Control".

As for today, Timmy was lights out. He K'd 7, and rocked out for 7 innings, his crazy mop flowing in the Wrigley breeze. And how about this for a change... the lineup actually gave him some early runs! Yessssssssssss!

Bengie Mo went yard off Sean Marshall, and it looked like so much fun that Aaron Rowand actually knocked in not one--- but two runs with a double off the wall! God, was that ever a welcome sight!

Prior to Tuesday's game, as pointed out by ESPN.com, the Giants had failed to score A SINGLE RUN for their past 3 starters. Not good. Sabean... PLEASE HELP.

Also of note is that Cubs skipper Lou Piniella was so terrified of Timmy Franchise making his fancy men in tights look foolish, that he benched all of his best players. Haha. What a loser. Timmy doesn't care who he strikes out! Could be Alfonso Soriano, or it could be some nutsac up from Peoria for a cup of coffee. He is that cool.
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DODGER DOUCHEBAG(S) OF THE DAY: Rafael Furcal & Russell Martin who have combined to go 3-13 with 1 run and 0 RBI in their last two games. Losers!