Tuesday, May 10, 2011

We've seen this movie before, Giants fans

Firstly, apologies for not writing much in the last couple weeks. This whole "job" thing is really putting a cramp in my evening sports watching/writing.

Secondly, the last post was about the "Dynamite" video with Keenan Cahill, Weez, and Boss Ross. I'd like to clarify:

Before that video, I'd never heard of Keenan Cahill. Secondly, I didn't watch the video all the way through to see the fundraiser thing at the end. I honestly thought he was a funny little 10 year old kid. Swear to God. So, if anyone was offended by me calling him a "chubby nerd", I hope you understand that I had no clue the kid had a disease or that he was an internet sensation. Obviously I should do more research on amusing internet videos. Now that that's out of the way...

The Giants, are well... still the Giants.

As the title says, we've seen all of this before:

-- Our proven veteran SS sucks major ass (Tejada instead of Renteria)

-- DeRosa's wrist is hurt (although he's in Tuesday night's lineup)

-- Pablo's contributions are missing (this time due to injury, rather than retardation)

-- Highly paid players struggling to start the year (Huff)

-- Zito contributing absolutely nothing in exchange for the Gross Domestic Product of Micronesia

-- Unexpected contributions from players expected to do nothing (Rowand, Fontenot)

-- A total random career minor leaguer making a major impact (Vogelsong instead of Torres)

-- Timmy is Timmy

-- A bunch of improbable comeback wins out of nowhere

It honestly goes on and on, and frickin on.

But hey, this is why we watch, and why we love these guys.

With a sweep of Colorads this past weekend, I really think things are starting to get better... at least I feel like consistency is setting in.

The early injuries to Brian Wilson, Sandoval, DeRosa, Ross, and Torres have really thrown a crazy ass monkey wrench into the unpredictable, yet well-oiled machine that is the San Francisco Giants.

Ross's Sunday offensive outburst and Wilson's rediscovered groove only lend credence to my theory.

Throw in Bumgarner and his last three starts (5 ER in past 3 starts after 16 ER in his first 4), and I think this team is trending in the right direction.

Huff is still struggling, Buster hasn't hit his stride, and Burrell is still a massive question mark, but overall, this team is making me feel more comfortable about life.

The emergence of Mike Fontenot as a serviceable SS and bizzarely-- as a decent 3rd place hitter, means the totally washed up Miguel Tejada can now join Mark DeRosa on the bench as one half of the righty-righty, sub-par backup-infielding $12.5MM combo known as DeJada.

Suddenly this whole Jose Reyes for Zach Wheeler nonsense sounds better.

Speaking of which...

Myke Urban single-handedly blew the Reyes "interest" and "internal discussion" thing totally out of frickin proportion.

I have had internal discussions about marrying Scarlett Johansson and taking Taylor Swift out to dinner too.

The point being...


That being said, excellent job getting your name out there Myke. And I really do like him as a Bay Area sports personality... but look...

Jose Reyes is an injury-prone, money-hungry luxury item. Not only does he run on premium fuel, but when you buy him, his warranty only lasts 12,000 miles, you pay a $6,000 gas guzzler tax, his floormats run $600 apeice, and they nail you with a bogus California emissions fee.

It's like yeah, I'd love to buy a 500hp, $200K Aston Martin DBS convertible, but if I have to give up my high speed internet, and DVR service (Zach Wheeler) and have no guarantee of keeping the car long-term, I'm gonna opt for a $43k Dodger Challenger with 470hp.

You catch my drift?

Anyway, as I said, we've seen this all before, and we can't freak out about anything. This is a slightly different version of the same team we know and love. The frustrations will be there, the illogical struggles and surprising comebacks will continue.

As I said so many times last season: just sit back, and enjoy the ride. It's gonna take a while.


  1. Don't feel bad about the kid in the video. I had never heard of him either. I pretty much agree with everything you are saying.

  2. Beautifully written. Another masterpiece.

  3. Well put sir! I shall do as you day (and have been) just sitting back and watching. Only about a month in and I'm satisfied thus far. Many more games to come. Glad they're finding a solid grove dispite the random injuries that fell upon them.

  4. Welcome back...I didn't know who the kid was either, but it is pretty awesome to be him hanging with Cody & Brian...

    Was that a Freudian slip there with the "$43k Dodger Challenger"?

    Well written and humorous...made me laugh out loud!

    Write-on, DH!

  5. Tejada is an ASS-sucker.