When your fellow Giants fans ask you, 'Are you excited for the season??!!', your automatic response is 'Yeah! Can't wait!'.
Mine is the same. Of course I can't wait. It's the Giants, it's BASEBALL for God's sake. How could one not be excited? I mean, you'd have to be some kind of Communist foreigner not to be excited about the 2012 season.
Beyond that initial excitement for Giants baseball and my upcoming fantasy drafts, I feel very uneasy.
I feel uneasy about the lineup again. I feel uneasy about management's willingness to do what needs to be done about our lack of offense.
I feel uneasy about the Tim Lincecum situation.
I feel uneasy about the Matt Cain situation.
I just don't know what 2012 will bring, and it's beyond "anything can happen, it's a new year" sort of jitters.
For the first time in a few years, I'm not feeling confident. I've always tried to not be a negative fan, but for some reason, I can't shake it right now.
Uncertainty breeds a lack of confidence, and a lack of confidence breeds anxiety, negativity, and a general neurosis-- something that no one wants or needs.
I can't be the only one worried about this season, can I?
Sometimes I fall asleep wondering if Matt Cain will re-sign or if Lincecum wants to stay a Giant his whole career. It scares me to think that we'd lose either of them, but the possibility of losing one or both still exists.
What the hell am I supposed to make of this Huff/Belt/Posey/Pill 1B logjam or the Cabrera/Pagan/Schierholtz/Huff/Belt OF logjam? Are any of these guys any good anyway?
Will Posey return to form? Will Brian Wilson return to his 2010 form?
I just don't know, and no one could possibly know.
Perhaps I've just been watching too much Doomsday Preppers on NatGeo, but I just feel like this roster could possibly be on the verge of chaos or collapse at some point.
With another weak and unproven lineup of hitters with no guarantees of who will be playing where on a given day, I thank God that we still have the pitching staff that we do. I know it'll be there for us to keep us close and prevent things from getting out of hand.
With that said, I'm not a believer in Melky Cabrera or Angel Pagan. I think they're both third outfielders and both 6th place hitters that will probably see time hitting some combination of leadoff and third. Call me negative, because that's the way I am right now.
I wanted Beltran back, even with his injury risks because we had the depth already to fill in for him if he went out. Now we just have two more average players vying for everyday roles.
Hopefully once the season starts, I'll see that things aren't that bad, and that we'll continue to scrap out games they way we always do, but with Arizona (the team that beat us and made the playoffs last season) adding Trevor Cahill to its rotation and Jason Kubel to its already superior lineup, it's just hard to stay positive.
I feel like Arizona got better, but we really didn't-- and that's a depressing thought.
Anyway, thought I'd just rain on everyone's spring training parade and I hope getting all this BS out of my system helps get me into a more positive mood about 2012.