Drawn out ceremonies, Timmy & Hector, St. Louis, & other early observations

Well, it's been a few games now, and we've gotten to know our 2013 Giants a little better. Sure, they're almost the same team as last year, but every year is different. Guys get better, guys regress, and you just never know how things will shake out. Here's what I've seen so far:

-- Starting pitching has been a little up and down. Cain had one great start against LA, then gave up a historic 9 ER against St. Louis. Timmy won a game while walking 7. Bumgarner was a monster against the Dodgers and was a little shaky against Colorado. Vogelsong got lit up pretty badly.

The only guy with an unblemished statline thus far is Barry Zito, who apparently now owns the Cardinals. Let's hope this dominant Zito sticks around all year.

...Speaking of the Cardinals and our home opening series...

-- They got a little revenge for last season's NLCS. Believe me, these fans and that team are still bitter at their collapse, and they immediately got subjected to a three game, pre-game lovefest the likes unseen by Major League Baseball.

There's been some talk about the three ceremonies and how they were a little much. I agree.

Three days of flag raising, Buster, and an extended ring ceremony is deserved, but a little much when they last 20-30 minutes apiece and delay the beginning of the game. Again, I'm not saying I didn't enjoy every second of  it and that I didn't tear up when they raised that championship flag, but I wouldn't want the Giants to get stuck with another team's home opening series and 3 extravagant ceremonies in a row.

I feel like the flag-raising and the ring ceremony could've all been on the same day (Friday) and that Buster's MVP ceremony could've been pushed back to the Rockies series or on Sunday. Just my opinion.

-- Interesting factoid: The Cardinals also were at AT&T Park in 2011 for the Giants home opening series in which they watched the Giants ring ceremony. And then won the WS themselves in '11.

-- The Dodgers still suck. They've got all kinds of fancy toys that will cost them an arm and a leg for years, and the only one worth a damn is Clayton Kershaw, who they haven't even paid yet. Pathetic.

-- I like Chad Gaudin. He's looked good thus far. Andres Torres on the other hand...

-- There's still a "thing" between Timmy and Buster, whether anyone in the Giants' clubhouse wants to admit it or not. Sanchez caught Lincecum in his 1st two starts, and this brilliant Baseball Prospectus article (which you need to read) basically breaks down how and why Hector Sanchez is an unacceptable catcher thus far in his young career, especially for Lincecum. A lot of it has to do with framing, but the thing that gets me is that Buster has to sit or displace Belty in order for this to happen.

All this why there's a 3rd catcher named Quiznos sitting on the bench, useless.to the world and to himself. He should be getting reps in the minors.

Whether Bochy just wants to avoid Buster getting beaten up by crazy breaking pitches in the dirt, or whether Lincecum just can't handle being told what to do, this thing is detrimental to both the Giants' offense and defense.

I think a lot of us have this feeling that Hector Sanchez can hit, and he's still just a baby, but the fact remains that he hit .280 last year, but had a .685 OPS to go along with it. That's like backup middle infielder territory...

-- Brian Wilson didn't respond to the Giants' invitation to be included in the ring ceremony. That was the final nail in the coffin to his career in with the Orange & Black. It was immature and unacceptable. We loved that weirdo and he'll never be as happy with anyone else as he was here. If he wasn't so obsessed with himself, he'd have signed a minor league deal with the Giants and pitched his way back into a setup role. Instead, he made it about him, and still thinks that despite the fact he isn't capable of pitching, that he should be offered guaranteed millions. Good luck Wilson. I won't even call you Weez anymore.

It was nice while it lasted... all two years of it.

-- Speaking of which, where was Barry Bonds on Buster's MVP Day? For as much controversy as his name conjures up, he should've still been there. Jeff Kent, might have been a great Giant,but he also played for the effing Dodgers willingly-- Bonds never did that. Who better to give a keynote MVP speech to Buster than a guy who won 7 of them and lost an 8th to Jeff Kent.

I know he's a salty bastard and he has outstanding legal issues, but the Giants give rings to Kruk and Kuip and bring back Gaylord Perry all the time. Bonds deserves to be there. He built that ballpark and paved the way for these two Championships.

-- The Giants need to start their own division of eBay for highly sought-after giveaways like the Buster bobblehead. Nevermind the fact that they were giving away 40k of them, there will still morons lined up for LITERALLY a mile down the Embarcadero before the gates were opened. All for a bobblehead.

Crazier still was that there were sleaze merchants with garbage bags waiting inside the gates offering everyone $15-$20 for their bobbleheads. Last time I checked, they were going for $40-$50 on eBay. Just crazy.

Buster is protecting my flavored booze section now.

-- Stay hot Hunter Pence, catch fire Marco Scutaro... pretty self-explanatory, Pence has been a monst, and Scoots doesn't look comfortable at all. Also, Pagan is off to a hot start, giving me plenty of opportunities to use my #PaganWorship hashtag on Twitter.

Remember to read this Baseball Prospectus article about Timmy and Hector.

The day the West got weird

Laughter and giddiness, excitement and joy.

Those are typical behaviors of a fan whose team just swung the biggest deal of their lifetime.

The only thing is, that was MY reaction when I heard the Blue Bastards were on the verge of landing one star player and two former star players.

I wasn't the only one overjoyed.

Giants fans all over the place were rejoicing over the possibility of the Dodgers adding Adrian Gonzalez, Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford, and Nick Punto. It seemed on paper to be the exact opposite reaction of what one would expect, but hey-- most of the time your first reaction is the correct one.

Did the Bums get better in the short term? Sure. Adrian Gonzalez is a stud. He's thrilled to be back in SoCal, and he'll piss us off for years to come. That sucks for us and I'll admit it. I was fired up to see him leave the Madres after his contract expired, and I'm not happy to see him back in our division.

Beckett? I'm fired up about him. When he's focused and healthy, there are few pitchers whose clutch ability and past performance can match that of Beckett's. The past two years however, have been nothing but a black stain on Beckett's permanent record. Instead of rehabbing, he plays golf. Instead of watching the game, he eats KFC and plays NCAA football in the clubhouse. He's one of the top 10 most destructive clubhouse presences in this league when he's unmotivated and unhappy-- on the very same list as new teammate Hanjob Ramirez.

Carl Crawford? Awesome player... 3 years ago with Tampa Bay. Now, he's a shell of himself-- a guy who just underwent Tommy John surgery and put up a paltry sub .300 on base % in two injury-riddled seasons in Beantown.

I stole this from ESPN. 

Now comes the really juicy part.

Guess how much money these guys make. Seriously. Guess how much money the Dodgers just took on in order to land Adrian Gonzalez.

Two hundred sixty-two million dollars.

$262MM. Simply incredible.

Obviously money is no object to the new idiots in charge of the Dodgers. That's fine. Money was no object to the Red Sox either, and look what happened to them.They're languishing around the bottom of their division, still saddled with John Lackey's corpse and alienating their obnoxiously devoted fans on a daily basis.

I know it's not the same situation or the same team, but I think history needs to be learned from, and the Dodgers are a little too eager and foolhardy to make the same mistakes Boston has made in the past 5 years.

Fine with me.

SB Nation estimates that the Bums will be right at or slightly above the luxury tax level of $178MM next year, and that their actual payroll will be around $160MM. The reasoning for this is that the CBA takes into account the average annual payout of players' contracts rather than the actual number per year.

All these reasons are why we're so excited as Giants fans. They have more money than God, but so do the Yankees. And you don't see the Yankees just doing whatever they want to excess. They didn't sign Prince Fielder to play alongside Mark Teixeira. There are limits, and it comes down to profitability.

The capitalists that bought the team only care about money. They'd sell their own mother to make a buck, and will run the team that way. They have a plan-- and that plan is to buy high profile assets (they see players as things, not people), raise their profile on ESPN, and attempt to rejuvenate a fanbase whose primary objective is to drink a 12 pack of Corona on the way to the game and not get arrested.

It's about money, and once these contracts begin to balloon and become dead payouts (Crawford, Kemp, Gonzalez annual contracts all balloon to more than $20MM later in contracts and Kershaw will have a similar number with a new contract), they'll be sorry they did this.

The still have inferior pitching to the Giants, and will continue to suffer the results. It's a joyous day for Giants fans, because we know that they've irreparably saddled themselves with dead money and poor clubhouse attitudes for years ahead.

We all know it'll come back to bite them sooner rather than later, and that, folks, is something to be excited about.

Gotta stop the bleeding...

The word is exsanguination.

"Looks like the Dodgers really had their way with 'em, the poor bastards."

You have probably heard the term from Dr. Warner as she tells Benson and Stabler that it was the cause of death for the hooker found under the Queensboro bridge on SVU.

It is the process of bleeding and subsequently dying from said blood loss.

Right now, I feel like the Giants are lying in an alley somewhere south of Market, bleeding slowly while people shuffle by and step over us, thinking we're just another passed out wino with last week's Chronicle over their face.

What happened in this Dodgers series was nothing short of a massive wake up call to everyone-- the type of bad dream that jolts you awake at 3am in a cold sweat.

It was angering, it was frustrating, and it whipped Giants fans into a panicked frenzy. Right now, people are doing the equivalent of running through the streets, leaving their cars in traffic, and looting grocery stores for survival supplies. Of course in this scene, there's a nut with a sandwich board yelling, "Repent! The end is near!"

Human beings have this little thing called the "fight or flight" response-- something that we really can't turn off. It's meant to keep us alive, but sometimes in our relatively safe lives, our impassioned love for our baseball team becomes a sort of life or death scenario.

Hey, it woke us up didn't it?

There we were, happier than a stoned teenagers crushing Jack in the Box tacos at 2am. We had our little three game lead in the NL West, and we thought we'd turned the corner...

...then we circled the block.

That seems to be the Giants' M.O. this year. Turn the corner, then instead of going straight, we circle the block like someone trying to park their Silverado on the street in the Richmond District.

The problem with this team is not a new one-- we just can't hit and we need an impact bat. Same as it always is. The other problem lies with ownership refusing to acknowledge that it needs to spend more money to correct past mistakes.

You look at our $131MM+ payroll and just wonder how in the hell that kind of money can be spent while simultaneously being so desperate for impact hitters.

Well in a way, that money was spent in a panicked fashion to bring in supposed impact hitters, just as we want to be done now at the trade deadline.

Check this out:

Aubrey Huff, $12 Million
Freddy Sanchez: $6 Million
Aaron Rowand: $12 Million

That's why we can't have nice things. Couple that with Zito's $19MM, and it's enough to make you sick.

That's $59MM of virtually dead money and the reason that we can't have nice things. It's is the reason ownership won't take on the contracts of Aramis or Hanley Ramirez. It's also the reason that the Giants are unlikely to add the impact bat that we so desperately need right now.

I refuse to defend the complicated web of random rich white people that collectively form Giants ownership. There are literally hundreds of people that own the team, and not one of them wants to spend more money to correct previous mistakes.

Therein lies the problem with our type of ownership. There are too many people involved, and most of them don't own big enough stakes to be able to call the shots. It's more of a goddamn mutual fund or bond investment than a damn baseball team sometimes, and that is what's preventing us from getting significantly better in 2012.

It's not as if Brian Sabean doesn't know that we need Josh Willingham, Shin-Soo Choo, Corey Hart, Shane Victorino, Aramis Ramirez, Chris Perez, and the rest of the people we've been connected to. Oh he knows alright.

He's part of the reason that we're in the mess.

The problem is that he's handcuffed by a mediocre farm system devoid of major prospects and saddled by a conglomeration of investor-owners that don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. But you can bet they know their ass from their pocketbook.

The reality is, that the only way to significantly improve this 2012 Giants club is to take on a bad contract and/or give up our only desirable prospect, outfielder Gary Brown.

While our knee jerk reaction is to say, "Screw it, trade Brown.", that wouldn't be the wisest thing to do.

The only logical thing to do is to take on a bad contract, just as the Blue Bastards did with Handjob Ramirez.

They became instantly more formidable with that acquisition, as would we with a similar move.

I won't go off on a hypothetical trade tangent, because we could talk all day long, but it will take some serious and immediate flexibility from ownership to get better... and I don't see it happening.

What is most likely to happen is that we'll struggle but stay afloat until Sandoval gets back, and likely acquire a late innings bullpen arm to give us an upgrade over Kontos (who needs more seasoning in my mind).

Guys like Willingham or Choo would be an incredible addition, but let's not hold our breath, guys.

This isn't a horrible team, and we still have the ability to win the West, but we need to get some momentum again-- just like we had heading into the Dodgers series. The best thing to do right now is to step back from the ledge and not expect any shiny new toys under the Trading Tree on Deadline morning.

If you don't get your hopes up, you can't be disappointed.

Buster & Belt B2B ROY? It's happened... a lot

Are we jumping ahead of ourselves here? Absolutely. Is 4 games a good sample size for determining anything--except whose mustache and new tattoos you like/don't like? No.

And yet, Brandon Belt has us salivating. Salivating like we first did over Lincecum, Cain and Posey. Belt has us thinking possible dynasty. And I don't think anyone can blame us. We're fans, still high as kites from our Championship Season, and we're damn excited.

Not only are we rewarded by receiving some more press, coverage, bragging rights, and a shiny trophy, but it's as if we received a Christmas bonus or something. We knew we wanted Belt. We did research, we dropped our hints around our parents, but knew it was a long shot to get such a valuable present.

But when Christm-- I mean Opening Day Eve came along, we snuck a peek in a closet we weren't supposed to sneak peeks in-- and sure enough, behind the ties and ugly summer shirts the shape was unmistakable; it was Brandon Belt.

It was the greatest thing ever. Even when the Giants unwrapped him on Opening Day against LA, we were still surprised that it was real, and he was all ours.

Okay, enough gushing like a school girl.

The prospect of having Back to Back Rookies of the Year is definitely an exciting one. Let's for a minute just assume Belt plays the season the way he's played the first series. Let's say I don't know, 23 HR, 74 RBI, and a .285 average with great defense. We'll just assume that gets it done.

When I began to think of B2B ROYs, I had to do a little research about how many times that has happened. I was pretty surprised by what I found...

Years	Team	Name
1952, 1953	Brooklyn Dodgers	Joe Black
		Jim Gilliam
1954, 1955	St. Louis Cardinals	Wally Moon
		Bill Virdon
1958, 1959	Washington Senators	Albie Pearson
		Bob Allison
1958, 1959	San Francisco Giants	Orlando Cepeda
		Willie McCovey
1961, 1962	Chicago Cubs	Billy Williams
		Ken Hubbs
1979-1982	Los Angeles Blue Bastards	Rick Sutcliffe
		Steve Howe
		Fernando Valenzuela
		Steve Sax
1983, 1984	New York Mets	Darryl Strawberry
		Dwight Gooden
1985, 1986	St. Louis Cardinals	Vince Coleman
		Todd Worrell
1986, 1987, 1988	Oakland Athletics	Jose Canseco
		Mark McGwire
		Walt Weiss
1992-1996	Los Angeles Blue Bastards	Eric Karros
		Mike Piazza
		Raul Mondesi
		Hideo Nomo
		Todd Hollandsworth
2000, 2001	Seattle Mariners	Kaz Sasaki
		Ichiro Suzuki
2004, 2005	Oakland Athletics	Bobby Crosby
		Huston Street

Are you as surprised as I am at how many repeat ROY selections have occurred? I am especially appalled by the fact that the Doyers once had 4 ROYs in a row and then broke their own record with 5 in a row! It does comfort me however, that most of those guys sucked, and despite having 5 ROYs in a row in the 1990s, the Blue Bastards still did nothing of note, and still haven't.

And if you're wondering who has the most ROYs in history, this is how it breaks down:

Blue Bastards (12), Oakland (7), Yankees (7), Cincinnati (7), St. Louis (6), Baltimore (6), Boston (6), Minnesota (5), White Sox (5), Cubs (5), Philadelphia (4), Mets (4), Kansas City (4), Cleveland (4), Detroit (4), and the rest have 3 or fewer.

A lot of the names also jump out at me. You're like, "How in the hell was Todd Hollandsworth a ROY???"

I remember him more for playing center field with a goddamn Cherry Tootsie Pop in his mouth than being a Rookie of the Year...

Simply baffling.

The Giants if you're wondering, had 5 Rookies of the Year, 6 if you count Willie Mays who was ROY on the Giants when they still played in New York. But if you give the Giants 6, you have to count the 2 extra ROYs the Brooklyn Dodgers had. GROSS.

Giants Rookies of the Year:

1951: Willie Mays (NY)

1958: Orlando Cepeda

1959: Willie McCovey

1973: Gary Matthews, Sr.

1975: John "The Count" Montefusco

2010: Buster Posey

Anyway, besides a little bit of a history lesson, this shows us that back to back ROYs have happened fairly frequently. So that gives me even more hope that Belt will be able to do it.

Buster & Belt have a chance to be the first Giants to win B2B ROYs in 52 long years. Pretty cool stuff.

If you missed my take on Belt's swing and who it reminds me of, I included it below.

It's been a series of firsts for Brandon Belt. First hit, first walk, first stolen base, first RBIs... but most impressively, his first home run. Wow. That was just awesome on Friday night wasn't it? I don't know about you, but it gave me chills.

In only three games, Belt has answered the question I asked a couple days ago. He's not going anywhere. I know you hear the Front Office say things about their intentions with Belt, but once you see all this for yourself in meaningful games, you're like... "Whoa. This guy IS for real. And he's good NOW!"

He's so patient; so poised. His swing is beautiful. I see a little Palmeiro in that swing. Maybe a touch of Will Clark. I think I've nailed down what he looks most like.

Belt, to me anyway, really looks like John Olerud. @JohnnyUtah530 suggested that to me on Twitter Friday and he was right on. We forget how good of a pure hitter Olerud was. The helmet in the field is his real legacy unfortunately.

And I know this seems like a lazy comparison, but Belt has a similar swing to Buster Posey. While Olerud's front foot is quiet and he takes a short stride toward the pitcher, Belt's is more like "stepping in the bucket" like Posey's. And yes, you can compare the lefty Belt to the righty Posey.

And here's Buster:

I'd say Belt's mechanics are combination of Olerud/Buster and he's got a beautiful damn swing.

If you can't see the YouTube videos above, come directly to the site by clicking here.

Uribe now dead to me & a look at SS

I don't even want to write about this... I really don't.

What can I say, there is no honor among thieves and no loyalty in professional sports. I'm not just talking about the players either. There is a lack of loyalty at the management level as well.

As the hangover from our World Series victory begins to subside, we've experienced our first wakeup call. It was one of those shrill hotel room wake up calls that angers the hell out of you because it's just so goddamn unpleasant.

Why Uribe? Why the Dodgers? WHY! WHY!

I mean, yes, the money was excessive, and yes the Dodgers will regret giving him 3 years and $21MM, but the fact that we lost a key player to our hated, disgusting arch rivals is just unacceptable.

The Giants get a compensatory draft pick out of it because they offered Uribe, a Type B free agent, salary arbitration, but that doesn't lessen the sting of losing such a well-rounded player.

He is an above-average shortstop, an above-average hitter, and is the type of lineup and clubhouse glue that got us our first World Championship in San Francisco. He was just nearly as important as Aubrey Huff, who in my opinion got $2-3MM more per year than was necessary.

I understand why Uribe took the money. Money is good, and this will be his last chance to score a multi-year deal like this, I just wish the Giants would've tried harder to keep him. To me, it just sounds like they let him go... and that's a tough pill to swallow for fans like me who become so attached to players.

Now we'll have to see our beloved Uuuu-Ribe do his patented jazz hands in Dodger Blue, a thought that makes me seriously nauseous.

It's not quite Johnny Damon bolting Boston for Pinstripes but that's what it feels like. The last such thing we saw was Jason Schmidt signing for huge dollars with the Dodgers... a move that hamstrung them for years.

I will never be able to root for Uribe again, which is unfortunate. In addition, he will suffer horrible effects from the traitor's curse he brought upon himself. Like Schmidt did, Uribe will toil in both injury, mediocrity, malaise, or all 3. It is not that I wish this on him, it is just what will happen. His fate is sealed, and there's nothing he or anyone can do about it.

As for our shortstop options now... the market is not very attractive, hence the big contract for the newly hexed Juan Uribe. Here are the available shortstops, thanks as always for the ever-handy MLB Trade Rumors

Orlando Cabrera (36) - Type B, not offered arb
Juan Castro (39)
Craig Counsell (40)
Bobby Crosby (31)
Adam Everett (34)
Cristian Guzman (33)
Jerry Hairston Jr. (35)
Cesar Izturis (31)
Derek Jeter (37) - Type A, not offered arb
Julio Lugo (35)
Nick Punto (33)
Edgar Renteria (34)
Miguel Tejada (37) - Type A, not offered arb

That, my friends is one ugly list. The only people on that list that deserve a starting role are Derek Jeter, Miguel Tejada, maybe Nick Punto and possibly Izturis simply because of his defense.

Derek Jeter's agent has been contacted by the Giants, but he will not be signing with us. If Jeter and his camp even entertain a phone call from Brian Sabean, it will be solely to drive up his price with the Yankees and it will turn into a one-sided pissing contest. So forget Jeter. It's not worth thinking about.

Tejada is old balls as well, and although he can still hit, I wouldn't want him necessarily as an every day SS at age 37.

Basically, our options are in house guys like Manny Burriss (not a viable option), Brandon Crawford (who hit .241 in AA and is not close to being ready with the bat), or to make a trade.

See, this is why I wanted Uribe back... it's ugly out there.

The trade options include Jason Bartlett, who the Giants have discussed with Tampa Bay, and possibly Jose Reyes of the Mets, who will be an unrestricted free agent next summer. Bartlett is the more likely scenario, but he's only a slightly above average player.

Bartlett will likely make $5MM via arbitration this year and Tampa has little use for him at that salary with Reid Brignac ready to step into a full-time gig.

There are other teams eying Bartlett, but that probably won't drive his price up too much. He is a good defender, gets on base at a decent rate, and won't hurt you, but he also can't hit it out or do anything spectacular. Although he a Bay Area native with ties to Mountain View and Stockton... so there's that.

As for Jose Reyes, he's a name I've heard floated recently. The Mets, who've dealt with Reyes's creaky hamstrings, occasional brilliance, and general disappointment, perhaps are ready to move on... especially with his pending free agency in '12 and totally new regime in place.

With Jonathan Sanchez likely available, this may be an intriguing deal to explore... And in case you're wondering, Sanchez becomes expendable due to the fact that Dan Runzler is being groomed as a starter.

Anyway, that's pretty much what we're looking at.

From Behind Enemy Lines

I'm currently typing this from a Howard Johnson in a sleazy part of Buena Park, Orange County. I am here against my will, but while getting beer last night, I was reminded as to why I am so thoroughly disgusted by the Dodgers and SoCal in general.

Not only is my second favorite light beer brand tarnished forever, but the box is in Spanish. I'm sorry, I thought this was America. I don't have much time to write anything, but I'll be going to the Dodgers-Pirates game on Saturday and will be raising hell in my Giants hat and rooting for Pittsburgh. If I don't make it out alive, it's been real.

Behold, the object of my disgust from the Stater Brothers.

Hey Dodgers Fans: BILLL-BOOOARD! BILL-BOOOARD!!

This won't be a real post, but I'm sorry, this is too good, and truth be told, I haven't had a real anti-Dodgers post in a while.

I've been scanning Twitter for awhile and Dodgers fans are really yukking it up about A.U. Velez's misspelled "San Francicso" jersey. Hell, even MASN's Rob Dibble and Bob Carpenter have yukked it up for 5 minutes during the Nats-Phillies game.

Well, if you wanna laugh at A.U., how about you take a look in the mirror at what kind of team you support, Dodgers fans.

Behold. JUSTIN BIEBER BILLBOARDS! The biggest douche in all of music, a high-voiced little Canadian sissy who sounds like the kid who played Simba in the Lion King, apparently is a huge Dodgers fan...

... or at least they paid him a bunch of money to embarrass themselves.

Hey Dodgers fans: BILLLL-BOAAARRRRD! BILLLL-BOOOARRRD!

You should already be ashamed of yourselves, but this... this is just pathetic.

This oughta tide you over...

Sorry folks, things have been a little more hectic than usual (which means I actually have to do stuff). Hopefully this picture will tide you over. I took this last night with my Moto Q's camera, with the flash off, at night. It was outside McTeague's on Polk after last call. This is almost like a bigfoot sighting.

The "human being" you are about to feast your eyes on is the sleaziest of all sleazes. Like an evil Marb 100-smoking chameleon of evil intentions and poor judgment.

Behold:



The black New Era hat on his head with orange insignia is indeed not that of the San Francisco Giants, but of the hated Doyers-- a travesty in all facets. It's obvious why this scumbag would wear our colors-- he's obviously jealous of how cool and awesome we all are. It is not clear however, if this sort of obscene behavior has taken place on our side of things.

Is there such a thing a Dodger Blue Giants hat with a white "SF" in the middle?? Could such a thing have a market? I shudder at the thought. I encourage everyone to give crap to anyone you see wearing these blasphemous hats, because an orange and black Dodgers hat is almost as bad as a blue and white Giants hat.

And McTeague's is a cool bar. Busch in a can and Lonestar? In SF? WIN.

Dodger A-holes accost Barry! Bastards!

Some very disturbing news has reached my "desk".

From my boy Big League Stew via some Dodger jerk blog that shall remain unplugged:

"...Bonds and the Dodgers winter caravan collided at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles, a Hollywood institution and celebrity hotspot.

...such Dodgers as Matt Kemp, James McDonald, Ramon Troncoso and Fernando Valenzuela (were) already there, (and) the fans' feeding frenzy got that much greater outside when word got around that Bonds was stopping by for brunch."

And from the "Dodger jerk blog" (link to BLS on Yahoo here for sourcing):

"Looks like Mr. Bonds wanted to eat some Chicken and Waffles. He didn't know there were so many Dodger fans inside the building. Fans came out and asked for his autograph. Believe it or not, he did sign. He was in a good mood (I'm not kidding) until a fan gave him a ball and told him [to write] "In the sweet spot."

Wow. I guess he's a rookie. I shook my head. Another fan by my side looked at him and whispered 'Are you nuts?' I knew what was going to happen next.

Bonds snapped. 'You don't say that to me,' he said. 'I'm leaving, I got to go.'"

And apparently Barry left without any chicken and waffles.

All I have to say is BEAT LA!

This kind of boorish behavior is nothing new for disgusting Los Angelinos, whose version of society consists of 10 FM Spanish language radio stations, a porn-infested white trash enclave called the San Fernando Valley, unhealthful air, and a huge assortment of douches making up the majority of the rest of the population.

Here's Barry, a retired man, trying to get some damn soul food, and packs of roving drunken Dodger fans prevent him from doing so. I mean, what kind of sick society are we living in here?

No, he's not going to sign your baseballs if you insult him and say stupid crap. You're lucky he was as gracious as he was.

HE IS THE HOME RUN KING AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.


It would be so easy to sink to the level of Los Bastardos Azules and their criminal gang of Kemps and Valenzuelas, but we can't. Although half of me wishes BLB went all Ivan Drago on everyone (when Drago killed Apollo Creed) and threw people through windshields, did a couple Kevin Nash powerbombs, tombstoned Matt Kemp, and did a Diamond Dallas Page Diamondcutter on Valenzuela.

I just caught myself daydreaming that Barry and I were fighting back-to-back against a gang of ne'er-do-well Dodger fans. Sort of like a Rush Hour meets Walking Tall meets Lethal Weapon 2 kinda thing.

(If you can't see the video above, click here. Best part starts at 1:26)

When we were done kicking all their asses, one of us would smoothly deliver a classic one-liner, and we'd go inside and get our chicken and waffles from Roscoe's.

Back to reality though...

We will take care of the Blue Bastards on the field. And yes, we will make Dodger fans uncomfortable whenever we encounter them.

Just no physical harm, racial stuff, and keep the cussing down around kids (unless a kid starts it!)

More importantly, I really would implore Barry to move back up here to God's Country in NorCal. I know he's got a sweet pad down there in Beverly Hills or whatever, but he's too good for that kind of slumming. We can get him a sick place in Tiburon or Hillsborough or Blackhawk, and he can be honored by Giants fans the way he should on a daily basis.

Anyway, I hope that story got your blood boiling a little bit. And you're gonna wanna click on all those links. The wrestling ones are so effing sleazy. I can't believe any of us used to watch it.

Also, if you went to Fanfest and you have cool pictures or stories, email them to dantheman85x@aol.com and I'll get them on a blog post for Monday.

And get to the Twitter following @TheDodgerhater !

Too Funny!!!

Thanks to Cam L. for putting this on Facebook so that I may share it with our constituents!



I'm not great at screenshots, so the original ad can be found here. Go Phillies!

Jon Miller & Attendance

Jon Miller: Best in the business

Most of us watch the Giants on TV and are delighted to share that experience with Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper, one of the best broadcasting tandems in baseball. I don't need to tell you how awesome they are. Their chemistry is second to none, they are hilarious, and we all enjoy listening to their homerism and baseball know-how.

However, when we're watching at home, we are missing the true genius of Jon Miller and Dave Flemming on the KNBR radio broadcasts.

Flemming, for being a young guy, is simply superb in his delivery and knowledge... he's getting better by the season because he's learning from the best in baseball: Jon Miller.

Miller's diction, knowledge, and unparalleled ability to describe even the most minute details is quite simply incredible.

We are very blessed in the Bay Area to have such excellent broadcasters. Randy Hahn, Drew Remenda, and Dan Rusanowski for the Sharks are top notch. Bob Fitzgerald, Jim Barnett, and Tim Roye are great for the Warriors. Not a huge fan of Glenn Kuiper and Ray Fosse for the A's, but they're certainly not terrible. Greg Papa does a good job with the Raiders, and Gary Plummer is an excellent radio color guy for the 49ers.

Jon Miller is on a whole 'nother level though. Just imagine his baritone voice as he described Barry Bonds's 756th homer. It is simply the most amazing literary description of anything I've ever read or heard:

"Three and two to Bonds. Everybody standing here at 24 Willie Mays Plaza. An armada of nautical craft gathered in McCovey Cove beyond the right field wall. Bonds one home run away from history. (crack of the bat) AND HE SWINGS, AND THERE'S A LONG ONE DEEP INTO RIGHT CENTER FIELD, WAY BACK THERE, IT'S GONE!!! A HOME RUN! Into the center field bleachers to the left of the 421 foot marker. An extraordinary shot to the deepest part of the yard! And Barry Bonds with 756 home runs, he has hit more home runs than anyone who has ever played the game!"

And here's Jon's call of Reuben Rivera's horrible baserunning. Gotta click on that one.

I just cannot say enough about Jon. I've said the two following things to people and actually meant them:

"I could literally listen to Jon Miller describe an almond orchard or a city sidewalk and be thoroughly entertained."

And...

"Dude, I love tunes, but if I was stranded on a desert island, all I'd need was a tape of every broadcast Jon Miller has ever done. Seriously. That's all I would need."

God bless KNBR for its "Midnight Replay" as well. They replay the day's game starting at midnight in its entirety. Many times I will set the sleep button on my radio and fall asleep to Miller and Flem.

For instance, last night, the last thing I remember was Jon Miller describing in detail how Dom DiMaggio once had a 34 game hitting streak (after Joe's mark had been set). In the game Dom's streak ended, he hit a rocketing low line drive towards his brother Joe in the outfield. Joltin' Joe made an incredible catch to save the game and end his brother's march toward 56. Just amazing stuff.

Many of the all-time greats have passed away recently, Ernie Halwell, Harry Kalas, and the like. The best radio men alive right now in my option are Bob Uecker or the Brewers, Jon Miller, and Vin Scully of the hated Dodgers.

I should hate Vin, but he is simply a legend. He does a simulcast both on TV and radio by himself in LA-- truly amazing in its own right.

That is the last compliment to any Dodger employee you'll ever read on this site.

So... anyways, appreciate what we've got here, we've got it good here in Giants land.

Attendance issues

The Giants set another AT&T low attendance mark of of 23,934 Monday night against the Nationals. The crowd looked even sparser than that on television. Granted Washington isn't a very exciting draw and it was cold as hell out there, but this is a hard thing to witness.

We all know about the economy, it is certainly a factor. Another factor is the lack of "wow" factor that Los Gigantes give us. People would show up just to see Bonds hit, and the allure of our beautiful ballpark drew even the most indifferent breed of elitist and hipster to games.

Now, it's the gamers.

Brian Murphy was talking about this on KNBR a few weeks back. He is one of the true Candlestick nostalgists out there and is a huge fan of the home field edge. He said something to the effect of, "I'd rather have 25 or 30,000 real fans out there chanting and burning Dodger pennants in the upper deck, than 41,000 fairweather non-fans out there."

I for one agree with him. Although I wasn't there on Monday, it appeared to have a Candlestick feel to it. Trash was blowing around, people were bundled up in blankets. You could hear isolated hecklers. The serenades of "What's the matter with "so and so"? HE'S A BUM!" was going on the whole game. It seemed like a throwback night, and only the most hardcore of fans show up on a Monday in blustery 52 degree weather to games.

The A's attendance situation is no laughing matter, but when you go out to the Coliseum, you'll see the same type of fanhood being exhibited. Sparse, cold, and passionate.

As for the Giants, the numbers are not what I expected. Through 15 home games last year, their average was 33,824. Guess what this year's is?

33,397.

Huh? They're drawing only 427 less fans? I was sure the figure was going to be uglier myself. The only explanation I can think of is that people with season tickets are not going to the games and are either unable to sell them or unable to give them away.

The park just seems more sparse this year, and it's more than 427 people.

The Giants are playing good baseball though, and we will continue to draw at this solid, yet unspectacular clip.

Brian Murphy and I have no problem with it at all.

Karma's a bitch: Manny "totally devastated!"

Well, well, well. What do we have here?

Manny Ramirez of the disgusting Dodgers has been suspended for 50 games for supposedly taking a banned substance. Excuse me while I celebrate!

In fact, waking up to this news has not only made my day, but could possibly make my week-- we'll see how the Mexican party bus in San Francisco goes on Friday.

The mere fact that this suspension has taken place is not only a victory for Giants fans, but a sign that good still has the edge over evil in this world.

As the shirts say, Osama bin Laden is a Dodgers fan.

According to ESPN.com, Manny will be suspended for 50 games, making him eligible for a return on July 3rd against The Whale's Vagina Padres. He will also lose nearly $8 million dollars!!! Whammy!

Even more interesting about this story is the apparent substance that he took. Ramirez claims that it was a prescription from his physician for a "personal health issue". Naturally the doctor didn't know it was banned and Manny didn't bother with it. A typical refrain.

ESPN's resident character assasin Mark Fairnu-Wada immediately jumped into action. This is the same guy who's made it his life's mission to ruin Barry. Finally he's got some fresh meat. Fairnu-Wada reported to ESPN that the drug "...is hCG -- human chorionic gonadotropin. HCG is a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle."

I did a little indepedent research here (yeah, I Googled it and clicked on the Wikipedia result).

From Wikipedia:

"Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is a glycoprotein hormone produced in pregnancy that is made by the developing embryo soon after conception and later by the syncytiotrophoblast (part of the placenta). Its role is to prevent the disintegration of the corpus luteum of the ovary and thereby maintain progesterone production that is critical for a pregnancy in humans. hCG may have additional functions; for instance, it is thought that hCG affects the immune tolerance of the pregnancy. Early pregnancy testing, in general, is based on the detection or measurement of hCG. Because hCG is produced also by some kinds of tumor, hCG is an important tumor marker, but it is not known whether this production is a contributing cause or an effect of tumorigenesis.

In the world of performance enhancing drugs, hCG is increasingly used in combination with various anabolic androgenic steroid (AAS) cycles. It is included in some sports' illegal drug lists.

When AAS are put into a male body, the body's natural negative-feedback loops cause the body to shut down its own production of testosterone via shutdown of the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis (HPGA). It is a common misconception that estrogen will be elevated post cycle. Generally, estrogen is below a normal level after a cycle.[11] High levels of AASs that mimic the body's natural testosterone trigger the hypothalamus to shut down its production of gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) from the hypothalamus. Without GnRH, the pituitary gland stops releasing luteinizing hormone (LH). LH normally travels from the pituitary via the blood stream to the testes, where it triggers the production and release of testosterone. Without LH, the testes shut down their production of testosterone, causing testicular atrophy.

In males, hCG mimics LH and helps restore and maintain testosterone production in the testes. As such, hCG is commonly used during and after steroid cycles to maintain and restore testicular size as well as endogenous testosterone production. However, if hCG is used for too long and in too high a dose, the resulting rise in natural testosterone will eventually inhibit its own production via negative feedback on the hypothalamus and pituitary."

If you were too lazy to read that, I'll summarize it for you. Either ManRam is pregnant or he was a hardcore juicer and his nutsac shrank up and stopped producing ManJuice. Haha!

It also says that Manny should have his character assassinated in the media the same way Barry's was. But of course it won't be. Manny will get the Clemens treatment... meaning the benefit of the doubt. Which he has gotten so far from Peter Gammons and Tim Kurkjian. Typical.

But not in here.

Definitely sounds like a "personal medical issue" to me!
Even better than this, the Dodgers are now potentially screwed until July-- even though I don't think Manny is capable of that right now (couldn't resist). It pains me to say that they have been rolling, even setting records by winning 13 in a row at home.

The Giants need to take full advantage of this while they can, especially in head-to-head matchups.

All I have to say to the Dodgers is:

HOW BOUT THEM APPLES! MANNY SUCKS!

GO GIANTS!

Giants baby!

I'd like to welcome myself to the world of Giants blogging.

Of course I am already a semi-established blogger of sorts, having hosted this one for several years.

Granted, I've still only managed 12 views a day, but still! They don't know what they're missing!

This blog is about something near and dear to my heart: loving the San Francisco Giants and hating the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Dodger Hater blog, in partnership with Dodgerhater.net, will be updated once or twice a week with Giants news, takes, some brilliant analysis, and hate directed towards the Dodgers, their degenerate fans, and this disgusting megalopolis they represent.

With that said, let's talk Giants baseball.


With one of the best starting rotations is all of baseball, we've all become pleasantly used to the Orange & Black staying in ballgames. In a division that doesn't exactly reek of runs being scored, we pretty much have a shot in every game that we play.

Let's score some friggin runs here!

Our starting five of Timmy the Kid Lincecum, Matt Cain, The Big Unit, Barry Zito, and Jonathan Sanchez have a combined 3.72 ERA through Saturday. That is some of the most disgusting filth in the majors-- Good for 4th best.

What's even more amazing about this stat is that Timmy Franchise has a slightly inflated ERA of 3.16 due to two poor starts to open the year, and Barry Zito just hurled 7 innings of shutout 2 hit baseball!

Okay, I'm going to recalculate this bitch on the fly, how about this starting rotation ERA: 3.47. THANK YOU BARRY ZITO! (Seriously. I'm getting emotional about this... thank you so much.)

Despite the Giants' now league-leading 3.47 rotational ERA (FUCK YEAH!), the rubber match between the G-Men and the Rockies remains at 0-0 in the bottom of the 9th as I write this.

With such resounding nastiness coming from our starting pitching, it seems thoroughly wasteful to not score any runs for these guys. We will take this division and beat the Dodgers handily if we can just manage 5 runs a game, it is that simple.

For that to happen, GM Brian Sabean cannot sit back and "hope" that certain weak links in the lineup begin to hit. With Randy Winn, Travis Ishikawa, Manny Burriss, and Fred Lewis all scuffling badly, it is painfully obvious that we are going to lose some close games.

Seemingly the only guys we can count on to hit are our pudgy combination of Big Money Molina and Kung Fu Panda Sandoval.

With a dearth of reliable power in the lineup, we will continue to collectively scuffle. What we lack in hitting at the big league level however, we have plenty of in the minor leagues: young talented pitching.

Brian Sabean needs to make a trade sooner rather than later to get a big bat into this lineup. Anything short of trading Lincecum, Cain, or future superstars Madison Bumgarner, Buster Posey, or Angel Villalona, must be considered.

The "One Who Shall Not Be Named" sure would've helped this lineup with his disgusting hairstyle waving in the China Basin breeze against a backdrop of Chevron cartoon cars.

Instead, he's down there inhaling smog and contributing to the downfall of Western Civilization in Chavez Ravine-- a true pile of fecal matter.

The wild card is not coming out of the NL West, so we can and must win the NL West this season. The Los Angeles Assholes cannot prevail. Therefore, it is up to Sabean to get a bat.

The trade market for big hitters at this year's trade deadline is going to be very unpredictable. Some guys may be a available that we never thought possible.

Strike like lightning Sabean!

DODGER DOUCHEBAG(S) OF THE WEEK: Dodger Fans. They get there in the 3rd inning, leave in the 7th and don't sell out playoff games. What complete losers.

--------------------------------------NEWS FLASH-------------------------------------

LOS GIGANTES HAVE SCORED A RUN!!!! Rich Aurilia has knocked in backup catcher Steve Holm in the bottom of the 10th! Giants win 1-0! Woooooooooohoooooooooooo! Unfortunately the Dodgers have also won today 7-3 against the meek Los Padres de San Diego. Here's a fun fact: this is the Giants second 1-0 victory in the 10th inning this season. They did it against San Diego on April 22.

Seriously Sabean... get us a hitter... NOW.
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That concludes post #1 of the Dodger Hater Blog. Make sure to check out Dodgerhater.net and its complete line of Dodger Hating clothing. Represent the Orange & Black by ripping on the enemy!!!! Let the hate flow through you!

Eric Karros sucks,

Dan