Lincecum decent -- Blue Bastards cry after midnight

As we honored the great Jackie Robinson across the country yesterday, we thought of all the things he went through. Racist taunts, horrible cold shoulders, and everything else. He truly went through so much to help integrate the game we all love and we should all be grateful for that. I for one am also grateful he never had to suffer through a Josh Beckett start.

THROW THE DAMN BALL ALREADY. GOD!

And raise your hand if at the beginning of this season you even remembered Josh Beckett being on the Dodgers? 3 of you? Yeah that sounds about right. And he's making $15.7MM this year. Lol.

It began that way, with the Dodgers' only other treasure in the history of their gross franchise, Vin Scully, and our own Jon Miller announcing various things together, followed by a couple of has-beens trying to turn back the clock to 2007.

And you know what? Our has-been did pretty well. Despite giving up (ANOTHER) home run-- and it being to the hated Booribe-- Timmy was solid. He really seems to have this walk thing under control, but still finds himself struggling a bit and pitching inefficiently. 93 pitches through 5 innings is not what you want to see, but at the same time, cutting down on the walks and longballs to a minimum are a massive step in the right direction.

With Timmy, that's what it comes down to; limiting free passes and the big hit. Unfortunately, it'll take a few more starts like yesterday's to put a dent in his rough stats to start the season. Only Bartolo Colon, Wandy Rodriguez, and Homer Bailey have given up more HRs (6) than Timmy (5). At least he has some company though as Sabathia, Shelby Miller, Dillon Gee, Brandon McCarthy, Jered Weaver, and John Lackey have all given up 5 jacks apiece thus far.

As Bob Wiley would say, "Baby steps," as we all represent Dr. Leo Marvin, getting red in the face.

Don't tell me you've never seen "What About Bob?"

Put it in your Netflix queue, you bastards.

Just trust me.

More troubling though is the rapid cooling that has befallen the Giants offense. A once mighty two week juggernaut on the road, their bats have fallen asleep at the wheel-- save for a few timely at bats randomly strung together.

It is still early obviously, but it is pretty frustrating for everyone involved when they look like the '27 Yankees one week, but then get home and look like the 2009 Giants. Sometimes, weird stuff happens.

However, I'm less worried about this group, save for the stupid Panda, than groups of the past. As I said in my initial season post, this team has too many good hitters in their primes or entering their primes not to be successful offensively.

There will be nights where you go 0-5 with the bases loaded and end up winning the game. It's a funny game.

What's not funny is Puig wearing Jackie Robinson's #42 and refusing to run out a deep fly ball out to RF in a tie game, deciding to pout like a jerkoff and walk straight to the dugout.

As Krukow said, "That's BUSH!"

Puig, the gift that keeps on giving. Every day he gives us another day to hate his guts.

Gotta stop the bleeding...

The word is exsanguination.

"Looks like the Dodgers really had their way with 'em, the poor bastards."

You have probably heard the term from Dr. Warner as she tells Benson and Stabler that it was the cause of death for the hooker found under the Queensboro bridge on SVU.

It is the process of bleeding and subsequently dying from said blood loss.

Right now, I feel like the Giants are lying in an alley somewhere south of Market, bleeding slowly while people shuffle by and step over us, thinking we're just another passed out wino with last week's Chronicle over their face.

What happened in this Dodgers series was nothing short of a massive wake up call to everyone-- the type of bad dream that jolts you awake at 3am in a cold sweat.

It was angering, it was frustrating, and it whipped Giants fans into a panicked frenzy. Right now, people are doing the equivalent of running through the streets, leaving their cars in traffic, and looting grocery stores for survival supplies. Of course in this scene, there's a nut with a sandwich board yelling, "Repent! The end is near!"

Human beings have this little thing called the "fight or flight" response-- something that we really can't turn off. It's meant to keep us alive, but sometimes in our relatively safe lives, our impassioned love for our baseball team becomes a sort of life or death scenario.

Hey, it woke us up didn't it?

There we were, happier than a stoned teenagers crushing Jack in the Box tacos at 2am. We had our little three game lead in the NL West, and we thought we'd turned the corner...

...then we circled the block.

That seems to be the Giants' M.O. this year. Turn the corner, then instead of going straight, we circle the block like someone trying to park their Silverado on the street in the Richmond District.

The problem with this team is not a new one-- we just can't hit and we need an impact bat. Same as it always is. The other problem lies with ownership refusing to acknowledge that it needs to spend more money to correct past mistakes.

You look at our $131MM+ payroll and just wonder how in the hell that kind of money can be spent while simultaneously being so desperate for impact hitters.

Well in a way, that money was spent in a panicked fashion to bring in supposed impact hitters, just as we want to be done now at the trade deadline.

Check this out:

Aubrey Huff, $12 Million
Freddy Sanchez: $6 Million
Aaron Rowand: $12 Million

That's why we can't have nice things. Couple that with Zito's $19MM, and it's enough to make you sick.

That's $59MM of virtually dead money and the reason that we can't have nice things. It's is the reason ownership won't take on the contracts of Aramis or Hanley Ramirez. It's also the reason that the Giants are unlikely to add the impact bat that we so desperately need right now.

I refuse to defend the complicated web of random rich white people that collectively form Giants ownership. There are literally hundreds of people that own the team, and not one of them wants to spend more money to correct previous mistakes.

Therein lies the problem with our type of ownership. There are too many people involved, and most of them don't own big enough stakes to be able to call the shots. It's more of a goddamn mutual fund or bond investment than a damn baseball team sometimes, and that is what's preventing us from getting significantly better in 2012.

It's not as if Brian Sabean doesn't know that we need Josh Willingham, Shin-Soo Choo, Corey Hart, Shane Victorino, Aramis Ramirez, Chris Perez, and the rest of the people we've been connected to. Oh he knows alright.

He's part of the reason that we're in the mess.

The problem is that he's handcuffed by a mediocre farm system devoid of major prospects and saddled by a conglomeration of investor-owners that don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. But you can bet they know their ass from their pocketbook.

The reality is, that the only way to significantly improve this 2012 Giants club is to take on a bad contract and/or give up our only desirable prospect, outfielder Gary Brown.

While our knee jerk reaction is to say, "Screw it, trade Brown.", that wouldn't be the wisest thing to do.

The only logical thing to do is to take on a bad contract, just as the Blue Bastards did with Handjob Ramirez.

They became instantly more formidable with that acquisition, as would we with a similar move.

I won't go off on a hypothetical trade tangent, because we could talk all day long, but it will take some serious and immediate flexibility from ownership to get better... and I don't see it happening.

What is most likely to happen is that we'll struggle but stay afloat until Sandoval gets back, and likely acquire a late innings bullpen arm to give us an upgrade over Kontos (who needs more seasoning in my mind).

Guys like Willingham or Choo would be an incredible addition, but let's not hold our breath, guys.

This isn't a horrible team, and we still have the ability to win the West, but we need to get some momentum again-- just like we had heading into the Dodgers series. The best thing to do right now is to step back from the ledge and not expect any shiny new toys under the Trading Tree on Deadline morning.

If you don't get your hopes up, you can't be disappointed.

Faces of Evil: The Bryan Stow Attack

We all love the game we call baseball. Many of us love sports in general. We enjoy competition, and it's merely human nature. Since the beginning of man, people have been finding ways to prove their worth against others. Competition and rivalry brings out the best in some and the worst in others.

It's been said that it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. I believe that applies to fans of organized sport as well.

While I do not agree that the outcome of sport takes lower priority over sportsmanship, I agree that the way a fanbase conducts itself in general influences widespread opinion, and the way opposing fans treat them during interactions.

With that being said, I delayed writing this article by over week purposely. The attack on Giants fan Bryan Stow following opening night in Los Angeles enraged me. It enraged me to the point where I was worried about what I might say on this site, which is read by enough people to make me think twice about what I write.


What happened to Stow, a vicious and unprovoked attack, is one of the most cowardly acts in the history of American professional sports. No one deserves to be beaten because of what they believe or who they are. And although we may not all get along or share the beliefs or lifestyles of others, that doesn't give anyone the right to attack anyone physically.

I'm pretty realistic about this stuff. There are some people that simply look for fights. People get drunk and obnoxious. Idiots feel tough in a group and pop off to the stadium's cheering minority. It's part of the game, and it's part of the cross section of any society-- especially when it comes to sporting events. I get that. There are bad apples everywhere; morons in every walk of life.

I also know what Dodger Stadium is like. I've been there many times, beginning as a young kid with my dad. I've been lucky enough to be to a lot of different ballparks and arenas over the years, including the East Coast, and although I'm by no means an expert on these topics, I can tell you what I know to be factual.

Most Dodger fans are not despicable criminals like Stow's assailants. A lot of them are just like you or me... save of course the obvious fact that they are unfortunate to have been born in the worst part of our beautiful state with parents misguided enough to raise them as Dodger fans. Hey, nobody's perfect.

There is an element as Dodger Stadium however, that is unlike anything else you'll see at professional sporting events. The Oakland Coliseum for Raider games is the closest thing you'll find to the criminal element at Chavez Ravine.

There is no coincidence in the tie between the former Los Angeles Raiders and Dodgers, their rough element of fans, and the fact that opposing fans rightfully have their heads on a swivel at these games.

LA's gang culture exploded in the 1980s and 90s. The rise of rap and hip hop stars and groups like Ice Cube, NWA, etc. gave a lot of these criminal groups a public identity to attach itself to. The ESPN/Ice Cube 30 for 30 documentary "Straight Outta LA" detailed this.

Gangs began attaching themselves to The LA Raiders, their colors and clothing becoming associated with thug life and the rough street lifestyle that suddenly became glamorous. Long story short, the LA Coliseum became a dangerous place, a place dangerous enough where players didn't want their families in the crowd and opposing gang members frequently fought in public.

The reason I bring up the Raiders and their thuggish fans in the 80's and 90's is that once Al Davis moved the team back North to Oakland, this culture no longer had a local team to attach itself to.

Sure, they like the Lakers, but the Lakers have 20,000 seats, and it has always been a tough ticket. The NBA in LA is reserved for celebrities and people with money.

What's left? The Kings? No. Street toughs don't like hockey. USC football? Ehh, to a certain extent, but what does this rough element have in common with the University of Spoiled children? Not much.

That left the Dodgers... now a magnet for LA's thriving thug element.

These days, if this element of bad apples wants to go to a game for a reasonable price and hang out with their kind, they go to Chavez Latrine to cheer on people like Matt Kemp and Casey Blake, primarily filling the outfield pavilion sections (left field being the most notorious).

Most of these thugs don't care about the game. They care about getting drunk and talking smack. Paralleling the gang mindset of "us against them" and strength in numbers, it's a perfect public place for them to assemble.

Now I'm not saying that all of these bad apples are all in organized criminal street gangs, because that would be inaccurate. It's the lifestyle and mindset of "I'm tough, these are my homeboys, this is our hood, and this is my team."

That's just as dangerous as anything else.

And I know this is ALWAYS a very touchy topic, and some people can't handle having discussions about this without dismissing valid arguments, but there unfortunately is a racial element to this subject.

I won't harp on this, but I will state that there is a stereotype of what a "scary" Dodger fan looks like. Again, it's not everyone, and there are tons of exceptions to every rule, but the stereotype of the rough Hispanic Dodger fan looking for a fight is not a stereotype for no reason.

The gang population of the greater LA County area is estimated to be as high as 85,000. It is a huge problem to say the least.

Again, it's not mostly gang members intimidating people at Dodgers games, but there is a gang culture in Los Angeles that has influenced large amounts of young people, whether they do illegal things or not.

There is simply an element and culture of aggressive inhumanity and rudeness by some Dodger fans that cannot be ignored.

Take the account of Giants fan Teresa, who attended Opening Day in Los Angeles, the same game that resulted in Bryan Stow fighting for his life:

"I sat in LF (Pavilion) at Dodger Stadium on Opening Night. I went alone (came from Fresno). Beforehand, I gave some thought to how I would conduct myself and what I would wear because I am very aware of the hostile nature of Dodger Stadium. Everyone with a Giants hat or jersey was loudly booed wherever they went by large groups of people. While in the stands, one man got really bossy. He demanded that I stand when Vin Scully was introduced. I didn't. But the second time he yelled at me, I did what he said because it scared me. (He told me to take off my visor for God Bless America.)

I left in the 8th inning because I had a bus to catch and I also had no interest in being around if the Giants lost. There was a bad vibe in the stands. No one would converse with me because of my Giants visor and t-shirt. People were plain rude. In the 3rd or 4th inning, I was yelled at by a woman for sitting in the wrong row. I moved down one. I realized I had forgotten my water bottle under the bench and asked her husband to pass it to me. He refused. He moved his leg and said, "You get it." It was such a strange evening. I will never go back."

Booing Giants fans I understand. Fine. I boo Dodgers fans too. That's not a big deal. But just the fact that people can't feel safe in the stands at a baseball game is just unacceptable.

This isn't football, or European soccer, Thai kickboxing, or that game that they play in Afghanistan in Rambo III where they drag the goat carcass around. This is baseball, in America.

It's just extremely discouraging.

People just go there to have a good time and root for their team. For some Dodger fans, that apparently entails yelling at women and children, throwing things at men, and purveying a general sense of irreverence and mob-style intimidation.

Just look at what they have to do to keep the peace in the Dodger Stadium parking lot. Once you park, you have to leave your car and immediately go into the ballpark. Drinking alcohol of any kind is prohibited, and you will be asked to dump it out or asked to leave if you refuse any of their bullying.

This happened to me only last year in a game against Pittsburgh. I was sitting with 3 other college students that all looked like me. We were in a Honda Pilot with the windows rolled up, and we were listening to Paul Simon while drinking a Coors Light.

We were badgered, harassed, and had our beers poured out by parking lot Nazis, then told we couldn't even smoke a cigarette outside the car. We had to go in, or we'd be asked to leave.

Where were these parking lot Nazis while Bryan Stow was getting his skull bounced against the pavement?

I suppose they were busy harassing peaceful groups of people enjoying the fact that baseball was back for another exciting year.

Do I blame them for the no-tolerance policy? No. I get it.

In 2010, there were 132 arrests at Dodger Stadium during Opening Day. 132! That is just unfathomable to me.

I guess the crackdown has had some effect as ONLY 25 people were arrested this year.

I'm waiting for that number to increase to 27.

The pieces of human garbage that attacked Bryan Stow don't deserve to live. They really don't. If they think that sucker punching and kicking a father of two until he nearly died is acceptable behavior, then they are better off dead.

Unfortunately, we don't live in a society anymore where people who do bad things are always punished. I like to think that even if people like these two get away with stuff like this during their lifetime, that they will burn for an eternity in hell.

And if you don't believe in heaven or hell, at least start believing in hell, because if those guys just get to live out their pathetic, violent lives, then die and don't have to pay for their crimes, then there really is no justice in the world (or afterworld for that matter).

I'm not giving up hope that someone will finger these two scumbags, but honestly, these guys could be anywhere. It's like finding a needle in a haystack even in the parking lot, let alone a metropolitan area of nearly 9 million, where they could easily blend in.

As angry as we are as Giants fans. We absolutely cannot retaliate against Dodger fans or anything else. We are the San Francisco Giants and we are Giants Nation. WE DON'T DO THESE THINGS TO OTHER PEOPLE. We ARE better than Dodger fans as a group.

Any person that decides to start a fight or causes any harm to one of these people is also causing harm to other Giants fans in the court of public opinion. Just with poor Bryan Stow and how his story was plastered over the national sports and news media, so will any signs of violent retaliation by Giants fans.

The microscope is on AT&T Park for this series.

Although two wrongs feels right, it unfortunately isn't always the best thing to do.

The best thing we can do to get our justice and vengeance is to send our thoughts and prayers to Bryan Stow and his family, make a donation to help pay his mounting medical bills if we are able, conduct ourselves with the class that makes us better than Dodger fans, and for God's sake, sweep these bastards on the field.

Consider the plea from Stow's cousin:

"We would like to use this as a rallying cry to stop unnecessary violence in our greatest pastime and all other sports, not only here but abroad. This would be one of the greatest gifts you could give to us, especially Bryan. So I ask for one last thing on behalf of Bryan -- that we all enjoy a safe and competitive and exciting year of baseball and a successful Giants home-opening weekend at AT&T Park."

I don't know Bryan Stow, but he was a Giants fan. He is one of us. He is just a guy who's day job is to save lives as a paramedic, and his night job is to raise his children. His life will never be the same, and I hope that no one that considers themselves a Giants fan will change anyone else's life in that manner.

On that note, I hate the Dodgers possibly more than I ever have, and I will always hold this incident against them and their fans, deserving or not. Everything about them makes me sick, but when I begin to get angry I remember two things:

1) We won the World Series & they suck

2) We are a better fanbase of classy individuals who would never do anything like that.

On that note...

BEAT LA!

TO HELP SUPPORT BRYAN STOW PLEASE VISIT SUPPORT4STOW.BLOGSPOT.COM



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2011 is fun now...

After 2 incredibly frustrating games to begin our title defense, 2011 is fun.


With the 10-0 drubbing of the Blue Bastards on Saturday, we all exhaled an elongated sigh of relief. Like our beloved Gyros, we all needed to get off the schneid too. Just because we sit around and eat and drink alcohol while watching other people exercise on TV doesn't mean we aren't physically involved in these games. I feel better already. It's like a weight off our shoulders. Almost like when you get off the treadmill and then walk around and you feel really light and weird and fast.

Anyway, Saturday's victory did other encouraging things.

It was great to see HurriCAIN Matt still in Postseason form. He was sharp from the beginning, and ended up allowing only 5 measly hits in 6 innings with no walks.

It really is a beautiful thing that we have such good pitching. Even Sanchez on Friday with his walks and bad defense, he was still dealing pretty well.

What I liked about Saturday was the way those 10 runs were produced. It was small ball... but I like to call it "effective ball". Getting on base. Not trying to pull the ball all over the place. Singling in runs. Amazing when that works.

I was shocked to see no Sandoval or Torres in the lineup this morning. I really was. I was like, "Well Torres AND Sandoval got two hits on Friday..."

But once I stop thinking like a fantasy baseball manager and start thinking like Bochy, I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot, Torres hit .226 against lefties last year and Sandoval hit .227.

Makes sense. There are a lot of reasons to sit those two against Ted Lilly, and it's pretty obvious that Bochy wants everyone to get in, shake the excitement off and get back to business. That's why Rowand and DeRosa played (in addition to them being righties). And hey, it worked. "DeRow", all $18MM of them went 4-10 with 3 runs scored. That's what we like to see! That's why Whiteside and Schierholtz replaced Posey and Huff, Torres came in later to force Burrell out, and Panda got a random end of the game at bat.

I can't say that I'm in favor of straight L/R platoons for Torres/Panda, especially because they're both switch hitters. The Giants are very deep this year, and while professionals like Rowand and DeRosa need to get in the game, the starters need a rhythm too.


As much as I railed on Boch last season (and he deserved it), when he finally stopped moving like a slug stuck in molasses with his lineup moves, he made all the right calls. I trust him now. He got it done, and for that we should give him more benefits of the doubt. It's natural to question these things, but we all just need to remain calm.

Anyway. It was nice to see the following things:


Tejada getting two hits, knocking in two dudes, and scoring twice

He was not exactly beloved by Giants fans in the first two games at Chavez Latrine. And it's pretty easy to see why. He looked a step slow at short, and looked like a GIDP waiting to happen. The defensive lapses were ugly, but we have to remember who this guy is.

He's not the MVP he used to be. He's old balls now, but he's still a serviceable SS and a veteran bat. He hit 15 HR last year. He's not Juan Uribe, but Boo-Ribe is now dead to us, so what does that matter? You can't compare Tejada to a dead ghost.

Saturday's game gave us hope that he will be an okay short-term player for us. The range at short is a concern, but if he's horrendous and costs us games, Sabean will take care of it. It's easy to find a light-hitting SS that won't hurt you on D.

He also looks really good in a Giants uni. Come on. You know you agree.


Brandon Belt could be our second ROY in a row...

It's been a series of firsts for Brandon Belt. First hit, first walk, first stolen base, first RBIs... but most impressively, his first home run. Wow. That was just awesome on Friday night wasn't it? I don't know about you, but it gave me chills.

In only three games, Belt has answered the question I asked a couple days ago. He's not going anywhere. I know you hear the Front Office say things about their intentions with Belt, but once you see all this for yourself in meaningful games, you're like... "Whoa. This guy IS for real. And he's good NOW!"

He's so patient; so poised. His swing is beautiful. I see a little Palmeiro in that swing. Maybe a touch of Will Clark. I think I've nailed down what he looks most like.

Belt, to me anyway, really looks like John Olerud. @JohnnyUtah530 suggested that to me on Twitter Friday and he was right on. We forget how good of a pure hitter Olerud was. The helmet in the field is his real legacy unfortunately.



And I know this seems like a lazy comparison, but Belt has a similar swing to Buster Posey. While Olerud's front foot is quiet and he takes a short stride toward the pitcher, Belt's is more like "stepping in the bucket" like Posey's. And yes, you can compare the lefty Belt to the righty Posey.



And here's Buster:



I'd say Belt's mechanics are combination of Olerud/Buster and he's got a beautiful damn swing.

Anyway, there's a ton to be excited about, and to get that first W, and to do it in 10-0 style with HurriCAIN Matt pitching like an ace, well that was just Cholula on the omelet (or icing on the cake to you weirdos that eat cake a lot).

Beat LA!

Random Thoughts

-- I feel teased by the fact we only got Kruk & Kuip for the game on Friday. I love being on National TV, but no one comes close to our collection of broadcasters. They're the best.

-- Orel Hershiser, being the Dodger that he is, said on Thursday's ESPN game that Brandon Belt has "...a slow minor league bat...with only gap power."

How'd that dong to deep center look to you on Friday Orel? Or should I say ORAL. Because you suck big time. Belt rules.

-- I love how Huff made two dives in RF on Saturday and caught the second one. Karros was right to point out that he hit his face both times on the turf.

Aubrey Huff? Gamer.

-- I'm scared about Zito starting on Sunday. The guy was in a neck brace two days ago... I mean, he wasn't very good when he was healthy, what makes us all think he can be okay with a sore body/neck?

-- Zeets has the sleaziest mustache ever. Cain says it's called "The Stache". I'm down. It's heinous, but aren't all mustaches? It's entertaining to me.

-- I will write a separate article regarding our fellow fans who were assaulted by felons in the Dodger Stadium parking lot. I have to really cool down about it because I don't want to be part of an FBI investigation because of something I said in blind rage.

*Deep breaths*

BEAT LA!

I think I'm going to continue running the "Live Blogging" thing on here. I may do it every game, or I may permanently incorporate it into the site so that it's always picking up fan takes and thoughts on the Giants from Twitter or from you directly on the site.

If you're reading this on Facebook and didn't see the embedded YouTube vids above, click here to come directly to the site.

From Behind Enemy Lines, Part II

Just got back from SoCal on Sunday evening, and would like to share my experience of Dodger Stadium with you. If you're already following me on Twitter, you probably saw my in-game twittering about the disturbing things going on around me at the park. If you don't, I'll fill you in here.

I'll preface this report by saying that I hadn't been to Dodger Stadium (I'm pretty sure) since 1993. As I spent 4 years of my early childhood in Thousand Oaks and my father had company tickets, we went to games a few times a year there to take in baseball... mostly Giants games as I recall. I pride myself on my ability to remember crazy details about things from long ago, and this story is just as crazy.

The last game I went to at that stadium was the final game of 1993-- the Solomon Torres game.

Even at a young age, I knew what was at stake, and I remember going to the game with my dad and procuring tickets from sleazy scalpers. The game was so in demand, that we couldn't even find seats together. Although the end result was crushing, it was a vivid Giants-Dodgers memory from long ago. I remember the fans doing the wave and the beach balls, just as well as the fascist ushers who stabbed the balls immediately. To a little kid, it is amusing, but to a baseball fan, it's just disgusting. With that said, here's my little in game diary, beginning with my arrival to the park with my quoted twitterings from the game against the Pirates on Saturday.

WARNING: Giants fans will be sickened.

We arrived about 10 minutes before start time, and not only was the traffic on I-5 non-existant (in a bizarre scene), but Stadium Way was smooth sailing, and there weren't any sleazes in the parks on the way to the parking lot. The dudes I went to the game with had never seen it like that before, and I always remembered the drive in there as awful. They characterized it as "eerie". Obviously, fans couldn't be bothered to show up on a nice Saturday night.

We paid our $15 bucks to park in the lot and proceeded to park between two cars, about 300 yards from the exit. As I had previously read an article about the Dodgers cracking down on stadium violence and excessive drunkenness, I knew that we probably couldn't get out of the car and drink outdoors, as is the American custom.

What I didn't know, is that the Blue Bastards have morphed from a bad organization to something even more twisted and heinous--- a cross between the DMV, a 5'5 crooked CHP officer who got beat up in high school, and Robert Mugabe.

My buddy Sisto's friends who were with us warned me to keep our beers down as we hunkered down in the car... you know, just trying to drink a Coors Light tallboy before going in. There were jerkoffs in golf carts zipping around the massive parking lot, which was about two thirds full of cars, but totally devoid of any fans.

Just then, a dude comes up and knocks on my window as I hastily hide the beer in the cupholder under some sort of Google Maps printout that had been long ago designated useless.

Parking Lot Nazi: Hey, how you guys doing? Got any alcohol in here with you?

Us: No sir, just a couple of empties. We were just listening to some music.

Parking Lot Nazi: Yeah? Okay. (peering around, pressing his face up against the glass of the rear passenger glass). Well what about that one there in the cupholder? That's not an empty.

Us: Well, no, okay, you got me.

Parking Lot Nazi: Pour it out. All of it. Yeah, just throw it on the ground, scavengers will come and and get it.

The two parking lot nazis then wrote down all of our names, our places of residence, noted the year, make, model, and license plate of Sisto's car, while stating that we wouldn't be cited.

The nazi then said, "Okay. Go into the stadium now. You can't stay out here anymore--"

"But, we already poured out our beer, can we at least get some tunes going, and smoke a cigarette or get a lipper going?" I interjected.

"No." The nazi said flatly. "You have to go into the stadium now, or we'll have to ask you to leave."


IS THAT UNBELIEVABLE OR WHAT?????????? I obviously wore my Giants hat to the game, but it was on backwards at the time, so there was no way that he saw it. They're just jerks to everyone. $15 for parking, $30 tickets, and God knows how much on beer and dogs and whatever, and the Dodgers organization just gives its fans the finger. No wonder these people are so damned miserable. Sucks to be you!!!! Suckers...


Now for the twitterings and pictures of this vile place beginning with buying tallboys at Ralph's in Burbank:

@TheDodgerhater: Dude. There is an illegal underground car washing operation going on in the subterranean Ralph's parking lot in Burbank.

@TheDodgerhater:Parking lot nazis stole our beer within 5 minutes of our arrival and the usher pointed me the wrong way.

@TheDodgerhater:Just ordered a "Giants Dog" and paid with my BofA Giants debit card at Dodger stadium. Reed Johnson's entrance song is Cypress Hill.

@TheDodgerhater:Dodger fans have finally stopped filling the stands here in the bottom of the 4th and have begun the wave while their team hits.

@TheDodgerhater:Fans have moved on from the wave to watching a beach ball get hit around in the stands. Morons.

@TheDodgerhater:Dodger fans are now throwing napkins, bags, and other assorted garbage from the upper deck to the loge to see it float down.

@TheDodgerhater:A paper airplane thrown from the upper deck missed Hong Chih Kuo's head in the bullpen by 3 inches. Unbelievable.

@TheDodgerhater:The left field pavilion boos the rest of the fans lustily when they can't sustain the wave all the way around.

@TheDodgerhater:And in the top of the 8th with an apparently insurmountable 5-1 lead of the Pirates, the fans have begun streaming out.

@TheDodgerhater:Just knocked a beach ball over the railing and yelled GO GIANTS! I got booed by the whole section and part of the pavilion. Got 1 cup thrown at me.


I tell you folks, after witnessing this place again after so many years, I just thank my lucky stars I was born a Giants fan. We've got it so good. Not only do we live in God's country, but our stadium is soooo much better, our fans are decent human beings, and although the parking lots cost waaaaay too much, at least they leave you alone out there to booze and hang out, the way it was meant to be.

Expect some real team articles this week.

I invite you to share your own experiences from Chavez Latrine in the comment section.

From Behind Enemy Lines

I'm currently typing this from a Howard Johnson in a sleazy part of Buena Park, Orange County. I am here against my will, but while getting beer last night, I was reminded as to why I am so thoroughly disgusted by the Dodgers and SoCal in general.

Not only is my second favorite light beer brand tarnished forever, but the box is in Spanish. I'm sorry, I thought this was America. I don't have much time to write anything, but I'll be going to the Dodgers-Pirates game on Saturday and will be raising hell in my Giants hat and rooting for Pittsburgh. If I don't make it out alive, it's been real.

Behold, the object of my disgust from the Stater Brothers.

Gut check time: the first of many

Wow, Sunday really sucked. I mean, really, really sucked.

There we were, just cruising along, thoroughly enjoying another gem by Zeets, shutting out the Blue Bastards on the field and shutting up the criminals in the stands at the same time. Then, just like that, we were punched in the gut. It wasn't even a normal punch in the gut, it was a sucker punch, totally out of nowhere. Just like that, the game was over. We were still left breathless and confused, just like at the end of the Sharks game last night. It's like, are you effing kidding me? A bottom of the 8th pinch hit dong by The One Who Shall Not Be Named, followed by a hockey playoff game where we outshoot the opposition 50-16, and end up scoring the only goal of the game on ourselves in overtime?

Sunday, April 18th, was one of the worst Bay Area sports days in recent memory.

As for the Giants, this first Padres game represents the first true challenge of the year. Until the Dodger series, where we easily could've swept, there has been little to no adversity in this young 2010 season. As the video below (at 1:08) will reinforce, the Giants were indeed "Drivin' along, drivin' along", until we hit a truck tire in the middle of the road." Let's just hope we bought our brake pads from Callahan Auto instead of the other guys.



As we know, how a team rebounds from sucker punches, and the fashion in which they respond to injuries dictates how far they go. Mental toughness, resolve, and a short memory are all huge parts of a successful baseball team, especially because it is one long-ass haul.

With Rowand on the DL with those pesky facial fractures, DeRosa's tender hammy, and Romo's confidence shaken, the San Diego series will be huge.

It's not so much what we've lost in Rowand, but how we'll replace him, and how we're able to keep chugging along. Monday in San Diego, it will be the Geno Velez show, and I assume Schierholtz and Torres as well against the lefty Clayton Richard.

Velez has been a huge surprise with his hitting thus far. The guy affectionately known as A.U., Geno, The Somali Pirate, and the Pharaoh has 4 extra base hits, 7 RBI, and hitting .350. Not only that, but the guy has taken a few walks, and is sporting a stat nerd-arousing .435 on base percentage. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm comfortable with A.U. playing every day until Rowand returns.

Back to the Dodgers series for a minute.

The fact that no Dodger was drilled is totally unacceptable. Whether that waste of life known as Vicente Padilla intentionally drilled Rowand in the head is beside the point. It's baseball etiquette. You hit one of our guys, we hit one of yours. Hell, even throw it totally behind them, and if it's a close game, hit them the next day. I was wholly shocked that Zito, who plunked Prince Fielder in spring, didn't nail Matt Kemp or that jerkoff Casey Blake during Sunday's game.

If the plunked Dodger became enraged, began gesturing wildly towards the mound while spewing expletives and the benches cleared, that's what I refer to as a team-building exercise. Even without a brawl, any "Us Versus Them" activity breeds unity, and it no longer becomes about retaliation, but about trust in one another and the bigger purpose of survival as one unit.

Try finding a stat for that.

Despite technically dropping two of three from the Doyers, I still saw a ton of character from these guys in each game. As I said before, there's something different about this team, and I no longer believe we're ever out of a game-- not like last year.

Let's plow through San Diago and get back on track!

Quick note: BOCHY! FREE JOHN BOWKER! LET THE GUY PLAY! HOW WILL HE EVER HIT LEFTIES IF YOU NEVER LET HIM TRY! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASSSSEEEE!

If you have hate in your heart let it out!

Well boys and girls, it's finally Giants/Dodgers time. I for one cannot wait.


I watched a bit of the Dodgers home opener against the D-Bags the other day, and was throughly disgusted by what I saw. I've come to the realization that I am simply grossed out just by the sight of Dodger fans-- let alone 55,000 of them. It is truly a nauseating blue that they wear (when they choose to support their team), and they are all complete slobs.

I think that during a fly ball hit by Chris Young towards the end of the game, I actually saw the Latin Kings carry out a jump in of a new recruit! All the while, the valley trash around them were doing the wave and smacking around beach balls. Just an appalling scene.

And if we need to review why Los Angeles is a hellhole, maybe we should go through a few things.

-- LA has 20 Spanish Radio stations (13 FM, 7 AM). Look, if you speak Spanish, that's fine, but last time I checked, this was America. I feel like the Giants are playing another country in a soccer game. Disturbing.


-- It is covered in concrete, shrouded in smog, and infested with porno people and gangs

-- The traffic makes you want to commit a murder-murder-murder-suicide of Manny Ramirez, Russell Martin, and Matt Kemp

-- Everyone there thinks they're cool, when they are all total douches

-- Their fans suck

-- Both Paris and Perez Hilton live there.

-- Osama bin Laden is a Dodgers fan

Baseball-wise, there's no doubt in my mind that the Giants are a better team.

What this first series will illustrate is the dearth of quality pitching that the Dodgers have. It's almost pathetic. It's not quite Pittsburgh Pirates pathetic, but when you look at their staff, it makes you want to laugh out loud.

Rotation:

Vicente Padilla
Clayton Kershaw
Chad Billingsley
Hiroki Kurode
Charlie Haeger

Are you kidding me? You think you can win the NL West with that garbage? Vicente Padilla is probably the worst Opening Day starter I've ever seen, and he's pitched like it so far (11.32 ERA). Kershaw and Billingsley are decent young arms, but Billingsley has no control and Kershaw is also unpredictable. They are the equivalent of a homeless, retarded man's Matt Cain and Jonathan Sanchez. Unfortunately for them, if that's the best they've got, they're in for a world of disappointment come October. Plus, Lincecum is better than Kershaw and Billingsley with a Jim Beam hangover and a broken ring finger on his throwing hand.

The Dodgers' bullpen is even funnier:

Jeff Weaver - Headcase, washed-up bum

Ramon Troncoso - The foreign Brandon Medders

George Sherrill - One of the decent guys in the pen has a 15.00 ERA

Carlos Monasterios - Whoooooooooooooooo?

Ramon Ortiz - The guy couldn't hack it for the Giants in AAA Fresno. Seriously. He was released by the Giants because he sucks.

Russ Ortiz - Yes. Russ Ortiz, a guy we liked as a Giant, is a Dodger. A sad day.

Jonathan Broxton - The only decent pitcher in their pen. Looks like a sleaze.

So, there you have it. The achilles heel of the Dodgers is their pathetic pitching staff. Do they have an impressive outfield? Yeah. I'll give it to them. On paper, it is impressive. But look, it takes a lot more than that to make the playoffs, and it'll take a lot more to win a series from the Gyros. Remember, good pitching is always better than good hitting.

So let's all flip LA the bird and enjoy our upcoming sweep!

And I hope Russell Martin gets drilled in the ribs!

Dodger A-holes accost Barry! Bastards!

Some very disturbing news has reached my "desk".

From my boy Big League Stew via some Dodger jerk blog that shall remain unplugged:

"...Bonds and the Dodgers winter caravan collided at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles, a Hollywood institution and celebrity hotspot.

...such Dodgers as Matt Kemp, James McDonald, Ramon Troncoso and Fernando Valenzuela (were) already there, (and) the fans' feeding frenzy got that much greater outside when word got around that Bonds was stopping by for brunch."

And from the "Dodger jerk blog" (link to BLS on Yahoo here for sourcing):

"Looks like Mr. Bonds wanted to eat some Chicken and Waffles. He didn't know there were so many Dodger fans inside the building. Fans came out and asked for his autograph. Believe it or not, he did sign. He was in a good mood (I'm not kidding) until a fan gave him a ball and told him [to write] "In the sweet spot."

Wow. I guess he's a rookie. I shook my head. Another fan by my side looked at him and whispered 'Are you nuts?' I knew what was going to happen next.

Bonds snapped. 'You don't say that to me,' he said. 'I'm leaving, I got to go.'"

And apparently Barry left without any chicken and waffles.

All I have to say is BEAT LA!

This kind of boorish behavior is nothing new for disgusting Los Angelinos, whose version of society consists of 10 FM Spanish language radio stations, a porn-infested white trash enclave called the San Fernando Valley, unhealthful air, and a huge assortment of douches making up the majority of the rest of the population.

Here's Barry, a retired man, trying to get some damn soul food, and packs of roving drunken Dodger fans prevent him from doing so. I mean, what kind of sick society are we living in here?

No, he's not going to sign your baseballs if you insult him and say stupid crap. You're lucky he was as gracious as he was.

HE IS THE HOME RUN KING AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.


It would be so easy to sink to the level of Los Bastardos Azules and their criminal gang of Kemps and Valenzuelas, but we can't. Although half of me wishes BLB went all Ivan Drago on everyone (when Drago killed Apollo Creed) and threw people through windshields, did a couple Kevin Nash powerbombs, tombstoned Matt Kemp, and did a Diamond Dallas Page Diamondcutter on Valenzuela.

I just caught myself daydreaming that Barry and I were fighting back-to-back against a gang of ne'er-do-well Dodger fans. Sort of like a Rush Hour meets Walking Tall meets Lethal Weapon 2 kinda thing.

(If you can't see the video above, click here. Best part starts at 1:26)

When we were done kicking all their asses, one of us would smoothly deliver a classic one-liner, and we'd go inside and get our chicken and waffles from Roscoe's.

Back to reality though...

We will take care of the Blue Bastards on the field. And yes, we will make Dodger fans uncomfortable whenever we encounter them.

Just no physical harm, racial stuff, and keep the cussing down around kids (unless a kid starts it!)

More importantly, I really would implore Barry to move back up here to God's Country in NorCal. I know he's got a sweet pad down there in Beverly Hills or whatever, but he's too good for that kind of slumming. We can get him a sick place in Tiburon or Hillsborough or Blackhawk, and he can be honored by Giants fans the way he should on a daily basis.

Anyway, I hope that story got your blood boiling a little bit. And you're gonna wanna click on all those links. The wrestling ones are so effing sleazy. I can't believe any of us used to watch it.

Also, if you went to Fanfest and you have cool pictures or stories, email them to dantheman85x@aol.com and I'll get them on a blog post for Monday.

And get to the Twitter following @TheDodgerhater !

What's worse, being down 4.5 games or a killing on Hispanola?

(I apologize if you're getting this twice. I'm having some feed issues again.)


Well, the former is ugly, but not insurmountable. Our wild card hopes are certainly dwindling away just like the summer boozing season. Of course, it's almost the fall boozing season, so that's not the problem. The real problem is fatigue by our horses, Cain and Lincecum.

These guys have been monsters all year, but I truly think that this long, stressful season has taxed both their physical and mental states. It would be hard not to. In the NL, only Adam Wainwright (219 IP) and Danny Haren (217.1) have thrown more than Timmy's 211.1 innings. Matt Cain is right behind with 202 innings.

I'm not one of these guys that says "Oh he's too small to keep this up" and "His motion is too violent." It's just not true. There are very few horses in this league that can be considered better at the tail end of the season. Hell, look at Roy Halladay. The guy leads the MLB in innings pitched at 221, and his first and second half stats are markedly different.

Halladay's pre all-star ERA was 2.65, to go along with 10 HR allowed. In the second half, his ERA has gone up to 3.26, and has already allowed 11 HR in 30 less innings.

With Zito and CC Sabathia being notable exceptions, dudes just tire out. Even Timmy Lincecum will give up 5 runs occasionally. Of course, his worst starts are in the heat. As I noted in this August 18th post, Timmy hates the heat.

He flat out doesn't like it, and his pitching suffers as a result. Take a look for yourself. In Timmy's last 3 starts in which he's given up 4 runs or more, they've all been during hot weather-- one in Cincy, one in Atlanta, and one in LA. If you can't see the table below, click here.




Now, onto the Angel Villalona situation.

If you haven't read the article from MLB.com, here it is.

All we know is that Angel Villalona, the 48th ranked prospect in all of the majors at age 19, has turned himself into authorities in the Dominican Republic, and is the prime suspect in the killing of another dude.

Great. This is all we need.

The island of Hispanola (Haiti/Dominican Republic) is not a good place. Poverty, desperation, and corruption rule, and for many young men, the possibility of becoming a major leaguer is the only way out. They'll lie about their ages and names (Miguel Tejada) and will even do all kinds of crazy steroids, even stuff meant for animals. It's this desperation that Dominican big leaguers know all too well.

This particular situation has a 19 year old bonus baby, who received $2.1 million dollars from the Gyros at age 16 to develop into the next David Ortiz.

Think about it. You're in a new country that has zero in common with the only thing you know, you've got a ton of money in your pocket-- more than 95% of your countrymen. It's difficult to comprehend how someone develops at such a young age with such strong factors at work.

With all that said, yeah, he probably shot this Mario Felix de Jesus Velete character. In fact, I'm almost positive he killed the guy.

But c'mon guys. This is the same thing that professional athletes deal with in this country, let alone the D.R.

Eddy Curry, Antoine Walker, Dunta Robinson, Steve Smith, CC Sabathia, Paul Pierce, Stephon Marbury... the list of professional athletes robbed or attacked is off the charts.

These guys are targets, and the young and dumb ones seem to inevitably put themselves in these situations. See Jackson, Stephen and Jones, Pacman for further clarification.

Obviously none of us were there, but some young Dominican punk probably ran up on Angel outside of some club or a cousin's house (inevitably cousins are involved somehow), and some sort of threatening situation occurred in which Villalona feared for his own life or the lives of his family members.

As Giants reliever Waldis Joaquin alluded to, "...people occasionally shoot first and answer questions later if they're being hassled by a group."

"Maybe if you have five people in one fight, you don't want to leave, and if you have a gun, you [fire it]." --MLB.com

Real reassuring Joaq-man. Real good.

The effect on the Giants future plans obviously won't be known for awhile yet, but to have one its top hitting prospects in this kind of trouble is not good.

The corruption angle could work well or horribly for Villalona in this scenario.

Scenario #1: Villalona hires the best lawyer in the country, pays off a couple magistrates and politicians, and gets off on a self-defense ruling. Everyone's happy.

In fact, check this out from the UNHCR website:

"...The judiciary, headed by the Supreme Court, is politicized and riddled with corruption, and the legal system offers little recourse to those without money or influence."

Money and influence, sounds good. Go Giants.

Scenario #2: An overzealous legal system seeks to make an example out of On-Hell and stuff is not good.

Ah yes, murder raps in corrupt third world countries, gotta love that.

Keep the faith Giants fans.

AND EFF THE DODGERS.

Your 2009 Giants Clubhouse Cliques

I know we've got a HUGE series coming up against the Los Bastardos Azules de Los Angeles, but we're all in need of a good pointless argument based in hilarity. Come on, we can't hit, can't bunt, and we're 4.5 games back. I'm not throwing in the towel, but as I said before, staying positive is becoming harder and harder. But... wait for it...

We're still in this.

Anyways...

This social breakdown isn't quite "The Giants Pitching Staff As Women", but hey, nothing can top that. That was lightning in a bottle, and put this here blog on the map.

So, without further nonsensical blather, I give you (my perceived) 2009 Giants "Clubhouse Cliques".

Think of it as the schoolyard. Naturally, groups of people will relate to similar folks. It can be based in many things, such as common interest or background, similar hobbies, or simply that they enjoy the other peoples' company. You know how this works. If you don't... well, I'm sorry, but you have no friends. Rent "I Love You Man" on PPV.


The Nice Guys

The nice guys are the dudes that have either settled down over the years, or just don't strike you as crazy or entertaining. These are generally family men who have been in the league for a few years, and don't get hammered in public or make a lot of noise in the media. They may or may not be able to tell you the difference between a Sauvignon Blanc and a Riesling, and are generally good guys. If you were friends with them, they'd probably offer to help you move and might dress up as the Easter Bunny for the kids after church.

-- Randy Winn
-- Travis Ishikawa
-- Bengie Molina
-- Jonathan Sanchez
-- Freddy Sanchez
-- Bobby Howry
-- Rich Aurilia
-- Randy Johnson

The Sleaze Brothers

You'd want to hang out with these guys. They're young, they go out boozing (hard), and they've got personality. They'd rather celebrate a big win by playing beer pong at Bar None than get a good night's sleep. They are known to have wild hairstyles and quirks on the field. They're a lot of fun... until they take it too far. You wouldn't really think they were baseball players if you saw them in public...

-- Barry Zito
-- Brian Wilson
-- Timmy Lincecum
-- Kevin Frandsen
-- Joe Martinez

The Backwoods Boys

The Backwoods Boys are generally Southerners who without the company of one another would feel totally out of place in the crazy (sometimes backward) place they call San Francisco. They'd chew tobacco even if they weren't baseball players. There's a good chance that you'll overhear them talkin' 'bout huntin', fishin', and wrasslin' with Alan Jackson in the background. They'd rather drive a Dodge Ram with a Cummins Diesel than a $95,000 Mercedes-Benz. They'd rather drink a Bud than some fancy $15 cocktail. These are my people.

-- Matt Cain (TN)
-- Eli Whiteside (MS)
-- Madison Bumgarner (NC)
-- Brandon Medders (AL)
-- Buster Posey (GA)
-- Brad Penny (OK)
-- Ryan Rohlinger (WI)

The Crazy Latins

These clubhouse clowns are irresistibly funny, off the wall, and a joy to be around. They all speak incomprehensible Espanol and their Spanglish is even funnier. These guys love life and they play crazy salsa dance music whenever they get the chance. You're more likely to see them dancing around and being goofballs than studying charts and videos... but somehow they're still effective. Being from different countries makes no difference to them. Viva Los Locos!


-- Edgar Renteria, Colombia
-- Pablo Sandoval, Venezuela
-- Juan Uribe, Dominican
-- A.U. Velez, Dominican
-- Andres Torres, Puerto Rico
-- Sergio Romo, Southern California
-- Merkin Valdez, Dominican
-- Jesus Guzman, Venezuela

The So-Calers

These are the dudes that we'd rip on for being from SoCal because we're from NorCal and we don't like their kind. There's nothing really wrong with them, but inevitably, they're on their own wavelength, and don't fully fit in with NorCal society. They're probably into Nickelback (which I happen to be down with), and may or may not wear strange sunglasses (Garko), extreme hairstyles (Rowand), or have their entire bodies tattooed (Miller). Affeldt is from Phoenix, but that's close enough.


-- Justin Miller
-- Aaron Rowand
-- Jeremy Affeldt
-- Ryan Garko
-- Dan Runzler

With all that being said... where do Nate Schierholtz and Fred Lewis fit in? What's their clique? I would say that Fred, a bit of a goofball himself, would fit in with the Latins, but also is from Mississippi, and can probably relate to the good ol' boys. It's hard to say. I wonder who Fred's best buddy is on the team... I really do. Maybe he's a hybrid cliquester.

As for Schierholtz, I imagine him to be more like Barry Zito and Lincecum than the Southerners. He's also too intense to be one of the nice guys. He's definitely cooler than Randy Winn and Ishikawa. It's debatable.

What clique would you put Lewis and Nate The Great in?

Hope you cracked a smile at that stuff. That's what I'm here for!

Umps on the take? Russell Martin a bitch? A series to forget.

The headline there says it all.

It's truly difficult to stomach what happened in this three game disaster. Despite our triumphant middle finger of a win today in extras, it still feels like we got swept. We endured the WORST umpiring I think I've ever seen in my life over a series. It was ONE CALL AFTER ANOTHER. If Gary Darling's crew was on the take, they sure as shoot did a terrible job of hiding it... which is why I think they just suck, instead of having zero integrity or decency.

By my count, there were between 8 and 10 HUGE blown calls this weekend... the most egregious of which occurred today.

You all probably saw the games, but there were two obviously blown calls at first when Dodgers hitters should've been out-- one of which tied up the game in the 9th inning and took away Lincey's gem of a game away.

There was one questionable call that could have had Manny picked off at first (which got Bochy ejected). After A.U. Henio upended Russell Martin at home, Kung Fu was blatantly hit on the elbow by McDonald... and after the ensuing brouhaha, he ended up with a strike on him. Then, later after Pandoval did a Saturday Night Fever disco splits move to avoid a tag from Castro, he was called out, and Schierholtz appeared safe at first. Well, Gary Darling reversed the "out" call on Sandoval, but then forgot to watch first base, calling Nate the Great out.

Kruk and Kuip were livid. After the game, Krukow said it was "...absolutely the worst umpiring I've ever seen in a series... and I've seen a lot of games."

Even Greg Papa was pissed in the CSN studios.

---------------------------Quick Side Note--------------------------------

I love JT Snow and he was a great Giant. That being said, he looks worse than Obama up there reading the teleprompter. He's like a zombie on TV. Get this guy a couple of whiskey sours before he goes on. Loosen up bro, you talking about baseball on TV... I hate to say this, but you could really learn something from Bip Roberts. (I know... I can't believe I said it either.)

--------------------------End Side Note----------------------------------

Anyway, the series was pretty much a disaster, and it could've been worse, if the Giants hadn't been able to overcome the terrible umpiring, their own buffoonery in the field, and ineptitude with runners in scoring position. They left 13 guys on base. Not good.

On a more positive note, Timmy once again was the stopper we needed. I love Roy Halladay, but Lincecum is the best pitcher in baseball. The guy literally needs 2 runs to win and will give you at least 8 innings every fifth day.

I sure hope that the victory that Gary Darling & Co. cost him today doesn't leave him a couple votes shy of his second Cy Young. That would be a travesty.

Also, A.U. continues to hit. He stroked one into Mirabelli/Finley alley today and managed to score AND take out the waste of space named Russell Martin.

Yet another dirty French Canadian on the Dodgers who totally sucks. That's right. You separatist jerks are in Canada. You don't get your own country. Go back to France if you don't like it.

A.U. undercut him with gazelle-like speed and wildebeest-like power. Martin ended up on his ass in obvious discomfort. Martin should ride the bench more often, considering he only has 3 HR and 33 RBI on the year. What a loser.

On the next pitch, tempers flared when Pandoval was hit on the elbow by James McDonald. Pablo was about to Kung Fu his ass before being led away.

In a moment that made me fired up to be a Giants fan, the benches cleared and craziness ensued.

Despite no punches being thrown, it was a great moment-- one of the best this season. The crowd went nuts and went into a "Beat LA" frenzy.

The best part could have been Edgar Renteria.

Not hitting much and severely declining in range, Edgar (who wasn't playing) made a beeline for the out of control Russell Martin and attempted to take him downtown to Chinatown.

Hey, he's got the right idea. Giants fans will ease up on you when you go all out like that.

Just like Juan Uribe, who made yet ANOTHER retarded error in the field today. What did he do? He slammed a dong halfway the bleachers in left. And showed up Guillermo Mota...

Expect Mota to drill someone next time... remember he's the guy who sent Prince Fielder into a bloodlust after he nailed the burly Brewers slugger last week.

On to New York.

If I had the money, I'd be there, drunk in the stands telling all the Mets fans to go back to Jersey. (They hate that).

Quick Notes:

-- Russell Martin was wearing a jersey today that said "J. Martin" on the back. What is that about? I guess the Dodgers just suck so badly that they can't even get their own uni's right.

-- The Giants made up another injury so that they could spare the embarrassment and PR nightmare of releasing Rich Aurilia. They probably put a bunch of injuries in a hat and drew "ankle tendonitis" out. Probably more believable than "swine flu" or "lacerated tonsil."

I thought it was over a few weeks ago, and wrote a nice little piece about him that you should check out. I don't expect to see him on the field again. Sorry Rich.

-- I've said the following, out loud, about A.U. Henio twice: "He seriously looks like an alien had sex with a gazelle".

Both times, he's homered. Swear to God.

--Umpire Bill Hohn (the jerk with the moustache) who blew two plays at first base on Monday and called a terrible game behind home plate on Tuesday, has drawn the ire of Atlanta Braves fans as well. This "Bleacher Report" article rails on him too.

He's ejected 5 Atlanta Braves in two games behind the dish this season, including the mild mannered Chipper Jones and Brian McCann.

The McCann incident was particularly absurd, because "Stache" as the article calls him, "...followed B-Mac to the dugout."

-- The Mets have a spot starter brought in from the bullpen to start the series opener. Sounds good. Maybe we can tee off on the SOB.

--A third umpire of Gary Darling's crew, Bruce Dreckman, has also pissed off the masses a time or two. This article details how Dreckman is a hothead who is known to accelerate and exacerbate problems and arguments.

I say break up this hellraising crew.

-- So Bochy and Ron Wotus get tossed... what's the succession if everyone gets thrown out? I guess it would go like this: Bochy, Ron Wotus, Tim Flannery, Dave Righetti, Carney Lansford, Mark Gardner, Roberto Kelly, Billy Hayes. Then what? Player manager? Bullpen catchers? Do Zito and Cain strap on helmets and coach first and third base like kids in Little League? Would they have to forfeit? Very interesting scenario.

I tried to find something about it here in MLB's Official Rulebook, but I don't think they have anything about it. Could this ever happen?

I could've happened today.

With Bochy already tossed, it is conceivable that all of the coaching staff could have been ejected during the brawl for fighting... leaving only a flustered Roberto Kelly to manage his first game.

Kelly would have argued several of the blown calls at the insistence of Aaron Rowand, and gotten tossed. God I hope that happens someday.

It would be AWESOME.

Keep rooting against the Rockies! Onto Queens!

Brian Murphy Article from 2001-- Giants, Dodgers & AT&T Park

This may be unethical or maybe not even legal, but I'll take my chances since this article is from 2001. It was in the SF Chronicle and written by KNBR morning host Brian Murphy-- a huge longtime Giants fan.

I for one tend to agree with a lot of aspects of this piece, and found it especially relevant for this year.

Games will never be like the sparsely populated drunken anger fests like we had in Candlestick way back in the day. The new park is the most gorgeous thing we've laid eyes on, but with that, as Murphy points out, came with a new set of clientele and codes of behavior.

With that being said, I really think that these last few years of ugliness has helped sort out the garbage fairweather fans. If anything, these growing pains have helped reinvigorate the real fans.

Make it a hostile atmosphere. Make Matt Kemp hate playing in San Francisco. Make their fans feel uncomfortable. Get loud and rowdy. Act like a Raider fan without being inappropriate around kids and stabbing people.

Plain and simple, bring back the old attitude that Giants fans used to exhibit. Burn a Dodgers flag by the cable car in right center, make these people think twice about coming into our yard.


Here is the article. It can be found here.


Beauty of a ballpark might end ugly rivalry

Brian Murphy

Wednesday, April 18, 2001

I WILL attend tonight's Dodgers-Giants game as a fan, but will do so with a pain in my heart -- and not because of the half-dozen Krispy Kremes I plan to wash down with a couple of Anchor Steams. That kind of pain is different, and will last well into the night before the Mylanta kicks in.

I speak of a deep, cutting pain. A pain that mourns the death of the Dodgers-Giants rivalry. A death perpetrated by, of all things, that monument to beauty, Pacific Bell Park.

Now, I'm not bagging on Pac Bell. Hell, I've seen the Roman Colosseum and I'm still waiting for a sight to top our little miracle on Third Street, the place that forces me to weep every time I see it -- though if anybody accuses me of going soft, I'll say it's my allergies.

But the one unfortunate casualty of Pac Bell is the Spirit of Dodger Hatred.

Not only has Giants geography changed, but so have demographics, and with them, attitudes.

A Dodgers-Giants game at Candlestick used to mean so many things, but mostly it meant an unmistakable scent of passion. (Or perhaps that was the storm front of marijuana smoke that accompanied every Dodgers tilt at the 'Stick.) Regardless, fists flew, traffic was terrible, the weather was abysmal and we loved every pitch of it.

The conditions bred toughness. It was awesome. It was a buddy following Tommy Lasorda down the right-field line in 1986 and bellowing, with all his might: "Hey, Lasorda, is that your belt, or THE EQUATOR?" It was Lasorda responding: "What mental institution did they let you out of?"

It was high-fiving a drunken stranger by the fourth inning, as if you had met your soul mate, and he was a bearded Hells Angel from Gilroy. It was watching a 7-year-old boy in Dodgers regalia get showered with peanut shells. The kid was wearing a Dodgers jacket and hat to the 'Stick. His old man should have known better.

It was marveling at the mayhem of Black Tuesday in '88, when the lads in the outfield seats went Soccer Fan on Kirk Gibson, forcing the Giants to put up metal barriers between the seats and the fence. Metal barriers, man! That's the stuff you read about on Reuters dispatches from Amsterdam!

Then it changed. Last year, the Dodgers played a night game at Pac Bell. The game featured a stunning development in the bleachers: Dodgers center fielder Todd Hollandsworth played the third inning while sucking on a Tootsie Pop, a display that would have unleashed havoc in the bleachers at the 'Stick. Two fans sitting near me understood. They roasted Hollandsworth without mercy. One tried to lead the crowd in the old '50s ditty, "Lollipop." The masses were mute. The other pleaded with a throat-scratching roar: "Dude, could you hook me up with one next inning? No, seriously! Get me, like, a cherry! Or an orange! But none of that stinkin' ROOT BEER!" That the fan channeled the Hanson Brothers from "Slap Shot" was funny enough; that he was devoting every ounce of his energy to ripping Hollandsworth was worthy of tribute from the surrounding fans. At most, a parade of the fan on shoulders; at the least, a round of beers.

Depressingly, the crowd's only response came from a guy sitting behind them who spoke the following words into a little machine: "No, look one section over. No, closer to left field. Yes! I'm wearing a yellow jacket! Yes, I'm waving to you!"

Now. I have nothing against cell phones. I have one. I use it for critical cases, like being all lost in the supermarket and calling my wife. I just can't see using it at a Giants-Dodgers game so, like, your friends know exactly where you are! And you can wave!

Bottom line: At Pac Bell when the Dodgers come to town, there is too much Chavez Ravine, not enough Hunters Point. And I've seen dozens of Giants- Dodgers games down there at that baby-blue stadium, witnessing Giants fans show up in full Giants uniforms, trying to incite anarchy. They go virtually ignored. Yet I fear that tonight, if some cat walked through my section wearing Dodger white and his back read: "GARVEY 6," he'd go as unnoticed as the guy next to him on the cell phone, directing his friends to his general area, so he could wave!

Let me be clear. I don't want Pac Bell razed. I adore the place. I don't want to move Giants games back to C-P. I just want to bring a little of the old ghosts up Third Street. I want some guy in a Mike Ivie jersey (No. 15, of course), to lead a rhythmic clap. I want some guy in a Dodgers hat to be shamed out of his seat, or, at the very least, to leave muttering: "Man, Giants fans, those guys are animals."

You know, I used to hate the "Beat L.A." chants. I thought the chant was a little provincial, a little sad, a little lacking.

Now, I miss them.

Heard they came back last night as Robb Nen was doing his overpowering job in the ninth.

Here's hoping they stay.