The day the West got weird

Laughter and giddiness, excitement and joy.

Those are typical behaviors of a fan whose team just swung the biggest deal of their lifetime.

The only thing is, that was MY reaction when I heard the Blue Bastards were on the verge of landing one star player and two former star players.

I wasn't the only one overjoyed.

Giants fans all over the place were rejoicing over the possibility of the Dodgers adding Adrian Gonzalez, Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford, and Nick Punto. It seemed on paper to be the exact opposite reaction of what one would expect, but hey-- most of the time your first reaction is the correct one.

Did the Bums get better in the short term? Sure. Adrian Gonzalez is a stud. He's thrilled to be back in SoCal, and he'll piss us off for years to come. That sucks for us and I'll admit it. I was fired up to see him leave the Madres after his contract expired, and I'm not happy to see him back in our division.

Beckett? I'm fired up about him. When he's focused and healthy, there are few pitchers whose clutch ability and past performance can match that of Beckett's. The past two years however, have been nothing but a black stain on Beckett's permanent record. Instead of rehabbing, he plays golf. Instead of watching the game, he eats KFC and plays NCAA football in the clubhouse. He's one of the top 10 most destructive clubhouse presences in this league when he's unmotivated and unhappy-- on the very same list as new teammate Hanjob Ramirez.

Carl Crawford? Awesome player... 3 years ago with Tampa Bay. Now, he's a shell of himself-- a guy who just underwent Tommy John surgery and put up a paltry sub .300 on base % in two injury-riddled seasons in Beantown.

I stole this from ESPN. 

Now comes the really juicy part.

Guess how much money these guys make. Seriously. Guess how much money the Dodgers just took on in order to land Adrian Gonzalez.

Two hundred sixty-two million dollars.

$262MM. Simply incredible.

Obviously money is no object to the new idiots in charge of the Dodgers. That's fine. Money was no object to the Red Sox either, and look what happened to them.They're languishing around the bottom of their division, still saddled with John Lackey's corpse and alienating their obnoxiously devoted fans on a daily basis.

I know it's not the same situation or the same team, but I think history needs to be learned from, and the Dodgers are a little too eager and foolhardy to make the same mistakes Boston has made in the past 5 years.

Fine with me.

SB Nation estimates that the Bums will be right at or slightly above the luxury tax level of $178MM next year, and that their actual payroll will be around $160MM. The reasoning for this is that the CBA takes into account the average annual payout of players' contracts rather than the actual number per year.

All these reasons are why we're so excited as Giants fans. They have more money than God, but so do the Yankees. And you don't see the Yankees just doing whatever they want to excess. They didn't sign Prince Fielder to play alongside Mark Teixeira. There are limits, and it comes down to profitability.

The capitalists that bought the team only care about money. They'd sell their own mother to make a buck, and will run the team that way. They have a plan-- and that plan is to buy high profile assets (they see players as things, not people), raise their profile on ESPN, and attempt to rejuvenate a fanbase whose primary objective is to drink a 12 pack of Corona on the way to the game and not get arrested.

It's about money, and once these contracts begin to balloon and become dead payouts (Crawford, Kemp, Gonzalez annual contracts all balloon to more than $20MM later in contracts and Kershaw will have a similar number with a new contract), they'll be sorry they did this.

The still have inferior pitching to the Giants, and will continue to suffer the results. It's a joyous day for Giants fans, because we know that they've irreparably saddled themselves with dead money and poor clubhouse attitudes for years ahead.

We all know it'll come back to bite them sooner rather than later, and that, folks, is something to be excited about.

Gut check time: the first of many

Wow, Sunday really sucked. I mean, really, really sucked.

There we were, just cruising along, thoroughly enjoying another gem by Zeets, shutting out the Blue Bastards on the field and shutting up the criminals in the stands at the same time. Then, just like that, we were punched in the gut. It wasn't even a normal punch in the gut, it was a sucker punch, totally out of nowhere. Just like that, the game was over. We were still left breathless and confused, just like at the end of the Sharks game last night. It's like, are you effing kidding me? A bottom of the 8th pinch hit dong by The One Who Shall Not Be Named, followed by a hockey playoff game where we outshoot the opposition 50-16, and end up scoring the only goal of the game on ourselves in overtime?

Sunday, April 18th, was one of the worst Bay Area sports days in recent memory.

As for the Giants, this first Padres game represents the first true challenge of the year. Until the Dodger series, where we easily could've swept, there has been little to no adversity in this young 2010 season. As the video below (at 1:08) will reinforce, the Giants were indeed "Drivin' along, drivin' along", until we hit a truck tire in the middle of the road." Let's just hope we bought our brake pads from Callahan Auto instead of the other guys.



As we know, how a team rebounds from sucker punches, and the fashion in which they respond to injuries dictates how far they go. Mental toughness, resolve, and a short memory are all huge parts of a successful baseball team, especially because it is one long-ass haul.

With Rowand on the DL with those pesky facial fractures, DeRosa's tender hammy, and Romo's confidence shaken, the San Diego series will be huge.

It's not so much what we've lost in Rowand, but how we'll replace him, and how we're able to keep chugging along. Monday in San Diego, it will be the Geno Velez show, and I assume Schierholtz and Torres as well against the lefty Clayton Richard.

Velez has been a huge surprise with his hitting thus far. The guy affectionately known as A.U., Geno, The Somali Pirate, and the Pharaoh has 4 extra base hits, 7 RBI, and hitting .350. Not only that, but the guy has taken a few walks, and is sporting a stat nerd-arousing .435 on base percentage. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm comfortable with A.U. playing every day until Rowand returns.

Back to the Dodgers series for a minute.

The fact that no Dodger was drilled is totally unacceptable. Whether that waste of life known as Vicente Padilla intentionally drilled Rowand in the head is beside the point. It's baseball etiquette. You hit one of our guys, we hit one of yours. Hell, even throw it totally behind them, and if it's a close game, hit them the next day. I was wholly shocked that Zito, who plunked Prince Fielder in spring, didn't nail Matt Kemp or that jerkoff Casey Blake during Sunday's game.

If the plunked Dodger became enraged, began gesturing wildly towards the mound while spewing expletives and the benches cleared, that's what I refer to as a team-building exercise. Even without a brawl, any "Us Versus Them" activity breeds unity, and it no longer becomes about retaliation, but about trust in one another and the bigger purpose of survival as one unit.

Try finding a stat for that.

Despite technically dropping two of three from the Doyers, I still saw a ton of character from these guys in each game. As I said before, there's something different about this team, and I no longer believe we're ever out of a game-- not like last year.

Let's plow through San Diago and get back on track!

Quick note: BOCHY! FREE JOHN BOWKER! LET THE GUY PLAY! HOW WILL HE EVER HIT LEFTIES IF YOU NEVER LET HIM TRY! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASSSSEEEE!

Dodger A-holes accost Barry! Bastards!

Some very disturbing news has reached my "desk".

From my boy Big League Stew via some Dodger jerk blog that shall remain unplugged:

"...Bonds and the Dodgers winter caravan collided at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles, a Hollywood institution and celebrity hotspot.

...such Dodgers as Matt Kemp, James McDonald, Ramon Troncoso and Fernando Valenzuela (were) already there, (and) the fans' feeding frenzy got that much greater outside when word got around that Bonds was stopping by for brunch."

And from the "Dodger jerk blog" (link to BLS on Yahoo here for sourcing):

"Looks like Mr. Bonds wanted to eat some Chicken and Waffles. He didn't know there were so many Dodger fans inside the building. Fans came out and asked for his autograph. Believe it or not, he did sign. He was in a good mood (I'm not kidding) until a fan gave him a ball and told him [to write] "In the sweet spot."

Wow. I guess he's a rookie. I shook my head. Another fan by my side looked at him and whispered 'Are you nuts?' I knew what was going to happen next.

Bonds snapped. 'You don't say that to me,' he said. 'I'm leaving, I got to go.'"

And apparently Barry left without any chicken and waffles.

All I have to say is BEAT LA!

This kind of boorish behavior is nothing new for disgusting Los Angelinos, whose version of society consists of 10 FM Spanish language radio stations, a porn-infested white trash enclave called the San Fernando Valley, unhealthful air, and a huge assortment of douches making up the majority of the rest of the population.

Here's Barry, a retired man, trying to get some damn soul food, and packs of roving drunken Dodger fans prevent him from doing so. I mean, what kind of sick society are we living in here?

No, he's not going to sign your baseballs if you insult him and say stupid crap. You're lucky he was as gracious as he was.

HE IS THE HOME RUN KING AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.


It would be so easy to sink to the level of Los Bastardos Azules and their criminal gang of Kemps and Valenzuelas, but we can't. Although half of me wishes BLB went all Ivan Drago on everyone (when Drago killed Apollo Creed) and threw people through windshields, did a couple Kevin Nash powerbombs, tombstoned Matt Kemp, and did a Diamond Dallas Page Diamondcutter on Valenzuela.

I just caught myself daydreaming that Barry and I were fighting back-to-back against a gang of ne'er-do-well Dodger fans. Sort of like a Rush Hour meets Walking Tall meets Lethal Weapon 2 kinda thing.

(If you can't see the video above, click here. Best part starts at 1:26)

When we were done kicking all their asses, one of us would smoothly deliver a classic one-liner, and we'd go inside and get our chicken and waffles from Roscoe's.

Back to reality though...

We will take care of the Blue Bastards on the field. And yes, we will make Dodger fans uncomfortable whenever we encounter them.

Just no physical harm, racial stuff, and keep the cussing down around kids (unless a kid starts it!)

More importantly, I really would implore Barry to move back up here to God's Country in NorCal. I know he's got a sweet pad down there in Beverly Hills or whatever, but he's too good for that kind of slumming. We can get him a sick place in Tiburon or Hillsborough or Blackhawk, and he can be honored by Giants fans the way he should on a daily basis.

Anyway, I hope that story got your blood boiling a little bit. And you're gonna wanna click on all those links. The wrestling ones are so effing sleazy. I can't believe any of us used to watch it.

Also, if you went to Fanfest and you have cool pictures or stories, email them to dantheman85x@aol.com and I'll get them on a blog post for Monday.

And get to the Twitter following @TheDodgerhater !