Showing posts with label The One Who Shall Not Be Named. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The One Who Shall Not Be Named. Show all posts

Monday, April 19, 2010

Gut check time: the first of many

Wow, Sunday really sucked. I mean, really, really sucked.

There we were, just cruising along, thoroughly enjoying another gem by Zeets, shutting out the Blue Bastards on the field and shutting up the criminals in the stands at the same time. Then, just like that, we were punched in the gut. It wasn't even a normal punch in the gut, it was a sucker punch, totally out of nowhere. Just like that, the game was over. We were still left breathless and confused, just like at the end of the Sharks game last night. It's like, are you effing kidding me? A bottom of the 8th pinch hit dong by The One Who Shall Not Be Named, followed by a hockey playoff game where we outshoot the opposition 50-16, and end up scoring the only goal of the game on ourselves in overtime?

Sunday, April 18th, was one of the worst Bay Area sports days in recent memory.

As for the Giants, this first Padres game represents the first true challenge of the year. Until the Dodger series, where we easily could've swept, there has been little to no adversity in this young 2010 season. As the video below (at 1:08) will reinforce, the Giants were indeed "Drivin' along, drivin' along", until we hit a truck tire in the middle of the road." Let's just hope we bought our brake pads from Callahan Auto instead of the other guys.



As we know, how a team rebounds from sucker punches, and the fashion in which they respond to injuries dictates how far they go. Mental toughness, resolve, and a short memory are all huge parts of a successful baseball team, especially because it is one long-ass haul.

With Rowand on the DL with those pesky facial fractures, DeRosa's tender hammy, and Romo's confidence shaken, the San Diego series will be huge.

It's not so much what we've lost in Rowand, but how we'll replace him, and how we're able to keep chugging along. Monday in San Diego, it will be the Geno Velez show, and I assume Schierholtz and Torres as well against the lefty Clayton Richard.

Velez has been a huge surprise with his hitting thus far. The guy affectionately known as A.U., Geno, The Somali Pirate, and the Pharaoh has 4 extra base hits, 7 RBI, and hitting .350. Not only that, but the guy has taken a few walks, and is sporting a stat nerd-arousing .435 on base percentage. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm comfortable with A.U. playing every day until Rowand returns.

Back to the Dodgers series for a minute.

The fact that no Dodger was drilled is totally unacceptable. Whether that waste of life known as Vicente Padilla intentionally drilled Rowand in the head is beside the point. It's baseball etiquette. You hit one of our guys, we hit one of yours. Hell, even throw it totally behind them, and if it's a close game, hit them the next day. I was wholly shocked that Zito, who plunked Prince Fielder in spring, didn't nail Matt Kemp or that jerkoff Casey Blake during Sunday's game.

If the plunked Dodger became enraged, began gesturing wildly towards the mound while spewing expletives and the benches cleared, that's what I refer to as a team-building exercise. Even without a brawl, any "Us Versus Them" activity breeds unity, and it no longer becomes about retaliation, but about trust in one another and the bigger purpose of survival as one unit.

Try finding a stat for that.

Despite technically dropping two of three from the Doyers, I still saw a ton of character from these guys in each game. As I said before, there's something different about this team, and I no longer believe we're ever out of a game-- not like last year.

Let's plow through San Diago and get back on track!

Quick note: BOCHY! FREE JOHN BOWKER! LET THE GUY PLAY! HOW WILL HE EVER HIT LEFTIES IF YOU NEVER LET HIM TRY! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASSSSEEEE!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

If you have hate in your heart let it out!

Well boys and girls, it's finally Giants/Dodgers time. I for one cannot wait.


I watched a bit of the Dodgers home opener against the D-Bags the other day, and was throughly disgusted by what I saw. I've come to the realization that I am simply grossed out just by the sight of Dodger fans-- let alone 55,000 of them. It is truly a nauseating blue that they wear (when they choose to support their team), and they are all complete slobs.

I think that during a fly ball hit by Chris Young towards the end of the game, I actually saw the Latin Kings carry out a jump in of a new recruit! All the while, the valley trash around them were doing the wave and smacking around beach balls. Just an appalling scene.

And if we need to review why Los Angeles is a hellhole, maybe we should go through a few things.

-- LA has 20 Spanish Radio stations (13 FM, 7 AM). Look, if you speak Spanish, that's fine, but last time I checked, this was America. I feel like the Giants are playing another country in a soccer game. Disturbing.


-- It is covered in concrete, shrouded in smog, and infested with porno people and gangs

-- The traffic makes you want to commit a murder-murder-murder-suicide of Manny Ramirez, Russell Martin, and Matt Kemp

-- Everyone there thinks they're cool, when they are all total douches

-- Their fans suck

-- Both Paris and Perez Hilton live there.

-- Osama bin Laden is a Dodgers fan

Baseball-wise, there's no doubt in my mind that the Giants are a better team.

What this first series will illustrate is the dearth of quality pitching that the Dodgers have. It's almost pathetic. It's not quite Pittsburgh Pirates pathetic, but when you look at their staff, it makes you want to laugh out loud.

Rotation:

Vicente Padilla
Clayton Kershaw
Chad Billingsley
Hiroki Kurode
Charlie Haeger

Are you kidding me? You think you can win the NL West with that garbage? Vicente Padilla is probably the worst Opening Day starter I've ever seen, and he's pitched like it so far (11.32 ERA). Kershaw and Billingsley are decent young arms, but Billingsley has no control and Kershaw is also unpredictable. They are the equivalent of a homeless, retarded man's Matt Cain and Jonathan Sanchez. Unfortunately for them, if that's the best they've got, they're in for a world of disappointment come October. Plus, Lincecum is better than Kershaw and Billingsley with a Jim Beam hangover and a broken ring finger on his throwing hand.

The Dodgers' bullpen is even funnier:

Jeff Weaver - Headcase, washed-up bum

Ramon Troncoso - The foreign Brandon Medders

George Sherrill - One of the decent guys in the pen has a 15.00 ERA

Carlos Monasterios - Whoooooooooooooooo?

Ramon Ortiz - The guy couldn't hack it for the Giants in AAA Fresno. Seriously. He was released by the Giants because he sucks.

Russ Ortiz - Yes. Russ Ortiz, a guy we liked as a Giant, is a Dodger. A sad day.

Jonathan Broxton - The only decent pitcher in their pen. Looks like a sleaze.

So, there you have it. The achilles heel of the Dodgers is their pathetic pitching staff. Do they have an impressive outfield? Yeah. I'll give it to them. On paper, it is impressive. But look, it takes a lot more than that to make the playoffs, and it'll take a lot more to win a series from the Gyros. Remember, good pitching is always better than good hitting.

So let's all flip LA the bird and enjoy our upcoming sweep!

And I hope Russell Martin gets drilled in the ribs!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Giants baby!


I'd like to welcome myself to the world of Giants blogging.

Of course I am already a semi-established blogger of sorts, having hosted this one for several years.

Granted, I've still only managed 12 views a day, but still! They don't know what they're missing!

This blog is about something near and dear to my heart: loving the San Francisco Giants and hating the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Dodger Hater blog, in partnership with Dodgerhater.net, will be updated once or twice a week with Giants news, takes, some brilliant analysis, and hate directed towards the Dodgers, their degenerate fans, and this disgusting megalopolis they represent.

With that said, let's talk Giants baseball.


With one of the best starting rotations is all of baseball, we've all become pleasantly used to the Orange & Black staying in ballgames. In a division that doesn't exactly reek of runs being scored, we pretty much have a shot in every game that we play.

Let's score some friggin runs here!

Our starting five of Timmy the Kid Lincecum, Matt Cain, The Big Unit, Barry Zito, and Jonathan Sanchez have a combined 3.72 ERA through Saturday. That is some of the most disgusting filth in the majors-- Good for 4th best.

What's even more amazing about this stat is that Timmy Franchise has a slightly inflated ERA of 3.16 due to two poor starts to open the year, and Barry Zito just hurled 7 innings of shutout 2 hit baseball!

Okay, I'm going to recalculate this bitch on the fly, how about this starting rotation ERA: 3.47. THANK YOU BARRY ZITO! (Seriously. I'm getting emotional about this... thank you so much.)

Despite the Giants' now league-leading 3.47 rotational ERA (FUCK YEAH!), the rubber match between the G-Men and the Rockies remains at 0-0 in the bottom of the 9th as I write this.

With such resounding nastiness coming from our starting pitching, it seems thoroughly wasteful to not score any runs for these guys. We will take this division and beat the Dodgers handily if we can just manage 5 runs a game, it is that simple.

For that to happen, GM Brian Sabean cannot sit back and "hope" that certain weak links in the lineup begin to hit. With Randy Winn, Travis Ishikawa, Manny Burriss, and Fred Lewis all scuffling badly, it is painfully obvious that we are going to lose some close games.

Seemingly the only guys we can count on to hit are our pudgy combination of Big Money Molina and Kung Fu Panda Sandoval.

With a dearth of reliable power in the lineup, we will continue to collectively scuffle. What we lack in hitting at the big league level however, we have plenty of in the minor leagues: young talented pitching.

Brian Sabean needs to make a trade sooner rather than later to get a big bat into this lineup. Anything short of trading Lincecum, Cain, or future superstars Madison Bumgarner, Buster Posey, or Angel Villalona, must be considered.

The "One Who Shall Not Be Named" sure would've helped this lineup with his disgusting hairstyle waving in the China Basin breeze against a backdrop of Chevron cartoon cars.

Instead, he's down there inhaling smog and contributing to the downfall of Western Civilization in Chavez Ravine-- a true pile of fecal matter.

The wild card is not coming out of the NL West, so we can and must win the NL West this season. The Los Angeles Assholes cannot prevail. Therefore, it is up to Sabean to get a bat.

The trade market for big hitters at this year's trade deadline is going to be very unpredictable. Some guys may be a available that we never thought possible.

Strike like lightning Sabean!

DODGER DOUCHEBAG(S) OF THE WEEK: Dodger Fans. They get there in the 3rd inning, leave in the 7th and don't sell out playoff games. What complete losers.

--------------------------------------NEWS FLASH-------------------------------------

LOS GIGANTES HAVE SCORED A RUN!!!! Rich Aurilia has knocked in backup catcher Steve Holm in the bottom of the 10th! Giants win 1-0! Woooooooooohoooooooooooo! Unfortunately the Dodgers have also won today 7-3 against the meek Los Padres de San Diego. Here's a fun fact: this is the Giants second 1-0 victory in the 10th inning this season. They did it against San Diego on April 22.

Seriously Sabean... get us a hitter... NOW.
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That concludes post #1 of the Dodger Hater Blog. Make sure to check out Dodgerhater.net and its complete line of Dodger Hating clothing. Represent the Orange & Black by ripping on the enemy!!!! Let the hate flow through you!

Eric Karros sucks,

Dan