Ugh, Orlando Cabrera

Well, Sabean must've read the article I wrote 3 hours ago, because he didn't stand pat. Looks like he got the SS that everyone gets every trade deadline and someone else signs every winter to a one year deal... only to be traded again to a contender a few months later.


He's played everywhere else... why not San Francisco?

I guess one 59 year old Colombian SS helped us last year and we got a 58 year old Colombian to help us this year.

I sound bitter, I know, but I really can't help it. I wanted a REAL impact player to play short. I wanted Jose Reyes. I know it wasn't realistic, but I wanted him anyway.

Cabrera, who has now been traded for the 4th time and will be playing for his 9th team, is only MAYBE better than TeCrawfenot, and having a terrible year for the confusing Cleveland Indians. Honestly, he brings no real promise of a better tomorrow.

He's 36, is hitting just .244, and doesn't have nearly the clutch history that Edgar Renteria has.

It's one of those moves that I believe Sabean just made to make a move. It's more for the fans than the team on the field, and with jerks like me clamoring for huge moves, it doesn't surprise me.

It's possible that Cabrera's move to a team in a real pennant race might get his juices flowing, but those juices have been in decline since he left the Expos.
I hope he proves me wrong, but this is just a stupid move. On top of it, as I'm writing this, I hear that Thomas Neal is the guy we traded.

Was Neal disappointing and slow to develop? Yes, but in my opinion, the Indians just made out like complete thieves in this deal, and have a chance to get Neal on track to be the starting Major League OF that we all expected him to be.

I get making a move to shore up SS, but I just don't get this move.

Yes, I get that TeCrawfenot can't hit, but as of 2011, neither can Cabrera. The only explanation (baseball-wise) is that Cabrera has been a member of 6 playoff teams, won a World Series with Boston, and has had 163 playoff plate appearances.

But, by the same token, he's a .228 playoff hitter and has only hit over .300 in ONE out of the NINE playoff series he's taken part in ('04 ALCS w/BOS when they came back to beat NYY after being down 0-3). Even scarier is that in the lower pressure Divisional Series rounds, he's gone a combined 15-83 for a .181 career average.

Not only that, but Cabrera has grounded into 10 double plays in '11 while amassing 40 strikeouts versus only 13 walks on the year.

I really hate to run down the guy, because he's had a very respectable big league career, won a ring, and is one of only two Colombian MLB players (that I know of) in history, but it's kinda like... "Thanks, but I'll pass..."

HurriCAIN Matt & Company 2 games away...

I cannot say enough about Matt Cain. He shut down a team, that on paper is totally "unshutdownable". Just look how they managed to make a game of it on Wednesday after they'd been left for dead.

Cain was a steady hand on the wheel, guiding the Giants to within two measly games of their first title in San Francisco.

He isn't flashy. His biggest quirks are his high socks, funny puffball of a haircut, and his subtle Southern drawl. He is a blue chip talent with a blue collar attitude and work ethic. That is a set of qualities to be desired in any setting.

Cain has been steady all season long, a guy we could rely on when Sanchez, Timmy and Zito had their ups and downs. Without him, we are definitely not standing where we are today... two games away.

Thoughts & Observations

-- CJ Wilson pitched pretty damn well. Other than that HR he allowed to Renteria, he basically shut us down. He didn't have his best stuff, but still made it work. Impressive start.

-- Edgar Renteria may have earned $6MM of his $8MM dollar salary in the past two games. Hell, maybe all $8MM. His defense has been flawless (save for a mishandled throw on a steal attempt by Andrus), and he was the catalyst for a blowout of a Game 2 win. It really proves that you can't teach "clutch", and playoff heroes like him are still capable of doing it late into their careers.

-- Ron Washington was badly outmanaged by Bruce Bochy tonight. I know, it doesn't sound like something anyone would say... but it's true. Bochy made all the right moves, and Washington, well... uh...

Washington made his biggest mistakes with his bullpen. With Cody Ross coaxing an impressive walk out of starter CJ Wilson, Washington went to his veteran lefty Darren Oliver to face Aubrey Huff. Sure I get it, lefty on lefty. Okay. Oliver got Huff to ground out.

With righty O'Day ready in the bullpen, Washington opted to keep Oliver in the game to face Juan Uribe. This was the first head scratcher of many. I get that O'Day allowed that HR to Uribe on Wednesday, but he's a better option than Oliver, who immediately gave up an RBI double to Uribe.

Fast forward an inning.

O'Day gets two quick outs and allowed a single to Buster Posey. With Schierholtz on deck, Washington, burned by not playing lefty/righty matchups in the previous inning, decided to go with 24 year-old Derek Holland to face Schierholtz.

Holland couldn't find the zone and walked 3 consecutive Giants, including Cody Ross, who hit directly after Nate. Where was Ogundo? Where was Mark Lowe then? I didn't get any of it, and neither did Krukow and Kuiper.

Holland may be rendered useless now after being hung out to dry like that. It was reminded me of Brooks Conrad in the NLDS.

And hell, Bruce Bochy burned Mike Fontenot as a pinch hitter in order to get Rowand in there for a better matchup against the new lefty. And look how that worked out. Rowand hit a triple. That sealed the game as a real laugher.

Ron Washington just seemed totally overwhelmed and it looked like he second-guessed himself throughout the entire game. He didn't have guys ready to go with the bullpen, and seemed totally rattled by previous backfires.

He will rebound by Game 3, but it might already be too late.

-- Javier Lopez is an absolute monster. I did not come up with this nickname, but "The Silent Assassin" fits him well. He's like a biological weapon-- mustard gas or something... or carbon monoxide. The enemy knows we have him, but they don't realize they're choking to death and dying until it's too late.

Boom. Sit down Josh Hamilton. Love Javier Lopez.

-- Some sweet stats here:

-- The Giants have now scored 50 runs, 30 of which have come with two outs
-- Of those 50 runs, 20 have been scored in the first two games of the World Series
-- The 4 consecutive walks by Holland and Mark Lowe set a World Series record
-- Matt Cain has now thrown 21.1 innings in the playoffs and has yet to allow a run
-- Opponents are hitting .171 off of Cain this post season

Game 3

-- Jonathan Sanchez and Colby Lewis go head to head in Game 3. This game has to favor Texas, because Lewis has been pitching very well, while Sanchez, has been... well... "Bad Sanchez". I expect him to be on a VERY short leash.

In addition to a rabid crowd, the Rangers have a serious home field advantage. They've got their short porches, and their DH, as well as their comfort zone. The sheer confidence boost the Rangers will get from being at home will be significant.

Look at Ian Kinsler. That ball he hit in Game 2 would've been a HR in Arlington. He got A&T'd, and it gets guys down in the dumps when they think no matter how hard they hit the ball, they have no chance at a round tripper.

As for the DH, I've already opined that it should be Sandoval. There simply is no way around it. Burrell doesn't like it, and he will be replaced defensively anyway. With righties Colby Lewis and Tommy Hunter going in Games 3 & 4, Panda looks like a good bet to me, unless Bochy gets a wild hair up his nose and DH's Aubrey Huff in favor of the defensive Ishikawa at first.

Also, Vladdy Guerrero gets a chance to redeem himself doing what he does best... hit.

-- So now we finally hear why there was no Jose Guillen on the playoff roster. Apparently, Guillen has been linked to some sort of HGH/Performance Enhancing Drug investigation and the Giants were ordered by the commissioner's office to exclude the right fielder.

Although Guillen and HGH go hand in hand, it is fairly shocking that MLB would basically find a way to suspend a guy before he's been formally charged. The Player's Union I'm sure will have something to say about that.

As it turned out, the Giants didn't need him at all, although he would make a swell DH in Arlington. Just imagine if Guillen WAS included on the roster. He'd possibly have stolen at bats from Cody "Boss" Ross. God only knows what would've happened.

Although he was a good late season addition and we only gave up Kevin Pucetas, I cannot say anyone misses him, and Cody Ross did more in his spot than anyone else could have.

Game 2 Observations, Game 3 Looksee

You can't win them all. This fact of life we know far too well. Most of us are also fans of the 49ers... and Warriors... so yeah. We know that we're not going to win them all.

That being said, our Giants are still in good shape and headed back to their homeland. A homeland that is a very far cry from the puking, whistling masses of the Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware urban trash that represents Philadelphia sports.

If you run into any Phillies fans at Games 3-5 at AT&T, tell them to "GO BACK TO JERSEY!". They absolutely hate it, because even if it's not true, New Jersey is like across the river from Philly. It's like if we all got accused of being from the East Bay.

Observations:

-- Sanchez wasn't horrible, but he wasn't great either. He kept the game close enough, but we all know we aren't winning any slugfests against the Phillies, especially with Oswalt's A-Game going full force.

-- Mike Fontenot is not doing well at 3B or at the plate. Bad defense and retarded plate appearances notwithstanding, Pablo Sandoval needs to start against Hamels, even if he's turned around to hit righty. You never know...

-- Andres Torres either needs to ride the pine for a game, or hit 8th. He took home a Golden Sombrero from The Bank on Broad last night, and for a leadoff hitter, that is totally unacceptable.

-- Dan Iassogna was horrendous behind the plate, a night after his homie Derryl Cousins stank up the joint. He was not the reason for the loss, but come on Major League Baseball! I saw two of the worst umpiring performances in the playoffs back to back in my lifetime. This is the NLCS, not the Mexican league, not the Arizona league, not AA Connecticut, and not Mill Valley Senior Minors. I'm against machines calling baseball games, but the more I see these ruh-tards screwing up calls left and right, the more the idea of artificial intelligence intrigues me.

-- With Uribe's jammed wrist a potential problem heading into Tuesday's Game 3 against the lefty Cole Hamels, here's MY lineup, assuming Juan can't go:

Renteria SS (R)
Sanchez 2B (R)
Huff 1B (L)
Posey C (R)
Ross RF (R)
Burrell LF (R)
Sandoval 3B (S)
Torres CF (S)

Renteria has above average speed (contrary to popular belief). He is a veteran clutch hitter whose nerves are not affected by the playoffs and has a decent eye. He is a smart player whose physical skills have eroded, but is still capable of a single, a bunt, and a walk.

Torres has only 3 hits in 6 playoff games thus far, and he would get a day off if this wasn't the NLCS. Unfortunately, I have no faith in Aaron Rowand being any kind of an upgrade over Andres, either at the plate, on the basepaths, or in CF.

Burrell hit the ball hard in Game 1, but Ross has been a monster. He is no longer a surprise to the Phillies after homering thrice in two games. He officially needs some protection in the form of Pat Burrell. Will Bochy do this? No. He can't think that fast.

And despite the fact that hitting right-handed are both Torres and Sandoval's weaker side, there are no real better options on the bench. I expect both to play.

Hamels vs. Cain


-- In two starts against the Giants in 2010 (home/home split), Hamels was 0-1. Check the stats, brochachos. We hit .348 off the guy and he had an ERA above 7. Dig the matchup.

11.0 IP, 16 Hits, 9ER, 5BB, 7.36 ERA, 1.91 WHIP, .348 BAA

Hamels also has a career 4.67 ERA against the Giants in 54 career innings.

As for HurriCAIN Matt, he was a tough luck loser against the Phils this year in one start. He lasted 6 innings and gave up 2 earnies.

PS: Guess who figured out how to delay KNBR and listen to it while watching the FOX feed? THIS GUY. Stay tuned for a post on how to improve your quality of life.

The ideal NLDS roster... and reality

Now that our playoff-clinching victory high has turned into anxious impatience for the NLDS to begin, it's time for rampant speculation and widespread knowitallism.

Yup. This is why you read stuff.

To keep it simple, there are some interesting rules for playoff rosters. Read away:

To be eligible for a team’s playoff roster a player must be on any of the following: (a) the 25 man active roster, (b) the disabled list, (c) the bereavement list, or (d) the suspended list as of August 31st at midnight. The only exception is that a player on the 60-day disabled list may be replaced by another player from the team's 40-man roster (as of August 31) who plays the same position (i.e. position player for position player, or pitcher for pitcher), with the approval of the commissioner of baseball.

Sooooo with all that said. If I'm Bochy and Sabean, this is my 25 man NLDS Playoff roster, and I'll throw some explanations of why I would even bother making a list that probably won't be a reality come Thursday. Indulge me.

Infielders/Catchers (8):

Aubrey Huff
Freddy Sanchez
Juan Uribe
Pablo Sandoval
Mike Fontenot
Edgar Renteria
Buster Posey
Eli Whiteside

Outfielders (6):

Andres Torres
Cody Ross
Pat Burrell
Jose Guillen
Nate Schierholtz
Darren Ford

Pitchers (11):

Tim Lincecum
Matt Cain
Jonathan Sanchez
Madison Bumgarner
Ramon Ramirez
Javier Lopez
Santiago Casilla
Jeremy Affeldt
Sergio Romo
Chris Ray
Brian Wilson

Left out: Travis Ishikawa, Dan Runzler, Guillermo Mota, Barry Zito, Aaron Rowand, Eugenio Velez, Manny Burriss, etc.

This is a bold list. Renteria over Ishikawa? No Zito AND no Rowand? Ford?! Yes, yes, and a million times yes.

Rationale:

Zito left out

I almost feel like quoting the Dany Heatley Sharks commercial. Aw what the hell. Dany Heatley/Barry Zito is a lousy pitcher, but he's a great hockey player/guy. Heatley couldn't throw a strike, and neither could Zito on Saturday in a crucial game against San Diago. He was trying... he really was. Barry Zito wanted so badly to do well, and he didn't have it. He hasn't really had it since September 19th. And although that wasn't that long ago, his most recent performances have been alarming to say the least.

Yes, he's a veteran, and yes, he once did well in the playoffs with Oakland, but that only pulls so much weight. With all due discretion and sensitivity... that was like 8 years and 5 miles per hour ago. Furthermore, the game he started against San Diego WAS a playoff game. It was a must win, just like a potential game 4 at Turner Field would be.

How could you justify Zito on the roster? I don't get it. If indeed we need a 4th starter (which we likely will), how is Zeets a better option than Madison Bumgarner?

Zito's pros: Veteran, has pitched in big playoff games before, had a 2.84 ERA in a stretch of starts from 9/8-9-19, his lone start against the Braves came in Atlanta in which he threw 7 innings of 2 run ball and struck out 10.

Zito's cons: Has a near 9.00 ERA in his last two starts with a 9.00 BB/9 rate, cannot come out of the bullpen, has a 5.09 ERA on the road this season, and would be a wasted roster spot if a 4th game isn't necessary, was booed on Saturday and reportedly aggressively heckled by drunken GTL enthusiasts in the Marina on Sunday night.

Bumgarner's Pros: In 10 road starts this season The Carolina Kid has a 1.91 ERA. In the month of September, he has a 1.13 ERA and opponents hit only .246 against him. Has amazing poise for someone his age. He can work out of the bullpen if necessary and has done it recently. He is from North Carolina and would not be affected by any strange weather.

Bumgarner's Cons: He's a 21 year old rookie who has never pitched this many innings in a year before, let alone in a playoff game.

In addition, arguably the Braves' best hitter, Jason Heyward, hit only .249 against lefties this year. Neutralizing the powerful rookie is key.

Ford vs. Rowand:

Rowand hit a clutch HR on Friday, he makes $12.5MM this year, and would gladly engage in some form of masochism or self-mutilation if it meant he could play sometimes. That being said, he doesn't offer much to the team. For the last 3 months, this once proud baseball player has been reduced to a cheerleading ghost, a constant reminder of how much better we are with Andres Torres and what an absolute albatross his contract is.

It's unfortunate that it's come to this, but I can't feel too bad for the guy. He's filthy effing rich, he has a World Series ring from his days in Chicago, and I'm sure his wife is pretty good looking.

The case for Ford is a stretch. This isn't a video game or fantasy baseball. And yes, I know he never got big league at bat and he hit .251 in Richmond. What I also know is that there is a profound lack of speed available on this team without him. With Torres and to a lesser extent Schierholtz the only fast baserunners on the team, Ford could be an insanely valuable weapon in the late innings. Think Dave Roberts for the Red Sox... how'd that work out?

The fact that Ford was brought up on the last day of August made him eligible, and it was a smart foresighted move by Sabean and Co. The kid can play some OF if absolutely necessary, and as we saw in the game against Colorado, the guy can flat out fly and win a game for you with his legs. This probably won't happen, but that's my argument, and I don't get what angle Rowand has for making the playoff roster over the speedster.

Renteria:

This guy is banged up, old, and I have no idea what he has left. He is a backup at best, and it's a mystery what we can expect from him. That being said, he's a repeated playoff hero and has a severe knack for clutch hits. Even this year, his avg. with runners on is higher than his avg. with the bases empty. In addition, he's the best backup option to Juan Uribe. Although Fontenot can play SS, it is risky to have only one backup middle infielder available.

Ishikawa:

Ishi is a good guy and he's been a great pinch hitter and late inning defensive replacement. Unfortunately, there is just no room for him. He is best suited for late inning at bats, but the Braves employ two filthy lefties as their 8th and 9th inning guys, making him veritably useless. Perhaps next round.

Bullpen:

It's too bad we can't take all these guys, because Runzler and Mota are solid arms. Unfortunately they both experienced injuries late in the season and haven't made enough appearances lately to prove that they are indeed "back". Mota pitched great against SD the other day, and Runzler seems to be working out the kinks, but unfortunately they don't make the cut.

As for what will probably happen? Well, it's probably not as pretty. As Murph and Mac pointed out Tuesday morning on KNBR, the Giants are a very conservative organization that doesn't make any rash decisions and are not known to ruffle feathers. Sacking both Zito AND Rowand from the active roster would cause a bit of a media storm and would be a minor distraction. Also, we're talking about $30MM of dead weight sitting on the bench...

...Oh well

If I were to make a bet, I would say that the Giants ruin my perfect roster by keeping both Zito and Rowand over Ford and Ray. Doesn't make sense baseball-wise, but it's a reality. Let's hope Sabes gives this a read.

Coming up tomorrow, a look at the Braves, how the lineups match up and pitching schedules.

PS: My playoff guarantee made over a month ago came true. Trust in the Dodgerhater!

Giants make huge trade... for Mike Fontenot

No, we didn't get Adam Dunn or Jose Guillen. What we did get is a little dude by the name of Mike Fontenot that I believe can only help the Giants.

Is he a sexy name? No. He's also 5'8, from Louisiana and is funny looking. What he does bring to the table is defensive versatility, smart play, and fundamentals. Again, this is not game changer and is the furthest thing from a power hitter, but our bench has been perteptually thin -- especially now with Renteria injured, Uribe's tender hammy acting up, Sanchez slumping badly, and Manny Burriss as nothing more than a fast question mark.

Fontenot, played with fellow NL Westers Ryan Theriot and Brad Hawpe at LSU (Also Brian Wilson's alma mater). He was also hilariously and absurdly connected to Megan Fox romantically at one time, which makes me simultaneously chuckle and wish it was true. Here's a link:

http://www.thecubsbrickyard.com/2008/12/17/megan-fox-panties/

Theriot it a plus defender at 3 positions-- 2B, SS, and 3B. In split duty this year (in limited time), he has only made 6 errors and has a .984 career fielding percentage. Practically, he fits a need for a lefty off the bench and someone who can fill in for Panda, Uribe, or Sanchez at any time. Scrappy players like Fontenot are great assets to have-- not game changers by any means, but do not take anything away from you.

For you Sabermetric fruitcakes, his WAR is -0.1. Not that it effing matters. Go back to pleauring yourselves to Fangraphs if you want to know his ZXYO--SwingUZR¥$ Percentage.

In exchange for Fontenot, the Gyros traded A-Baller OF Evan Crawford to Chicago. Crawford's numbers are unimpressive, but he was a former 9th rounder for the Giants a couple years ago.

Fontenot made $1MM this season and is arbitration eligible for a few more years, so if desired, he could be an inexpensive backup infield option for years to come.

Since I am blogging on my Moto Droid out of the house right now (God Bless America), I can't add any fancy linked text. So you'll have to click on a long ass old-fashioned link for Fontenot's stat page. Sorry.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/f/fontemi01.shtml

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.1

Slowly but surely, Bochy is figuring it out...

It's not perfect-- nothing is of course with our Giants and the backward state of the roster. Bochy at the helm has driven us all to drink, yell, spit, and burn up various internet posting outlets at one time or another. Indeed, he is slow, deliberate and frustrating in many ways.

Bochy is slow to make pitching changes, slow to walk to the mound, it even appears as though he would eat dinner slowly.

The slowest part of his behavior has been the excruciatingly slow, soccer-like execution of assembling the ideal lineup.

Interesting about this suddenly decent offense is that it is made up of modestly and/or appropriately paid players that were not expected to make up the everyday lineup card.

We all know the bummers that have befallen the Giants payroll. Renteria makes $8MM, and has been a combination of hurt and ineffective. Rowand makes $12.5MM, and is both ineffective and horrendous-- now he rides pine. DeRosa has been injured for nearly a month after hovering slightly above the Mendoza line for the first 7 weeks of the year. His $6MM salary is on the shelf, along with his wonky wrist, which for some unacceptable reason, has not been repaired yet.

Then of course there's Bengie Molina, who has been another disappointment, making around $4MM.

Let's add it up. For those of you keeping score at home (by the way, who the hell would actually do that?), that's right around $30 meeelion dollars (**Dr. Evil pinky finger thing**) of nearly dead weight in 2010.

Now, I'm not exactly sure if I'm going anywhere with the Dr. Evil reference. Maybe Brian Sabean is Dr. Evil, maybe it's Bochy. I'm not sure.

With the bizarre Frankenstein lineup that we've ended up with, we can't be upset. The additions of Pat Burrell and Buster Posey are about as cost-efficient as it gets, and the trio of Huff/Uribe/Sanchez are now looking like complete bargains and two of them are worthy of all-star consideration.

All the Sabean haters ripped on each one of these signings with the exception of Posey and Uribe, but look, somehow, things are working.

What we cannot stand as fans is the fact that money is being wasted on players either too ineffective or too injured to contribute at all. It's like, why cant any of these big salary guys work out, while the cheap guys like Huff, Santiago Casilla, Andy Torres, and Billy Mota are? I don't get it. It's the same GM making these moves, and yet there are wildly varying degrees of success involved. Back to Bochy though...

Bochy is a slow old catcher, who likes slow old vets. He can't help himself because it's who he is. Rowand is "one of our guys", Renteria "has been around for a long time", and Bengie "handles the pitching staff well". It's almost as if it causes Boch physical pain to remove former "gamers" like Rowand from the lineup, and to move the slow-learning, ADHD-riddled Pablo Sandoval down in the lineup.

It really angers knowledgeable fans like myself, and many that I talk to on Facebook/Twitter or in real life, that we've been saying things like "Call up Posey" and "drop Sandoval down in the order" and "play Nate Schierholtz" and "how do you expect John Bowker to ever hit lefties if he never faces one?"-- and being correct about them while Sloth Bochy and Sabean sit on their hands for WEEKS at a time over these decisions.

While Schierholtz is still not playing in favor of Bengie Molina, many of the things that we fans have harped on are finally being done. Posey was called up. Andy Torres leads off daily while Rowand sits. Pablo Sandoval has been yelled at and demoted in the order for being a retard, and the best players are now playing on an every day basis regardless of salary.

However, the true test of whether or not Bochy has rid himself of his foolish ways and habits will come within the next week. Yes, Gamer Renteria (I think Gamer is a biblical name), is coming off the DL, and I for one am scared as hell that he will ruin everything.

Today, everyone from Baggarly and Schulman to Amy G and Lou Seal relayed the information via Twitter that Juan Uribe would continue to start and that Renteria would not reclaim his starting spot. I'll believe it when I see it.

I can't even imagine who would sit in favor of Renteria. If it happens, it would be the most egregious injustice committed in sports since soccer was invented by fruitcakes on another continent who thought ties were an okay way to end a sporting event.

(See how I ripped on the World Cup there while remaining relevant? Damn I'm good.)

The whole point is that Bochy, after weeks of torturous lineup cards, has finally figured it out. Step two is playing Posey at catcher, putting Huff at first, Nate in right, and banishing Renteria, Rowand, and Molina to the pine, where they belong.

Things are looking up.

PS: Pat Burrell could be the "big bat" we were looking for. Imagine that. Who advocated his acquisition months ago? Yeah, it was me.

It's time to freak out, Giants fans

It was a shocking weekend. Just shocking. It didn't help that the Sharks got swept either, but my God...

ONE RUN IN THREE GAMES.

ONE RUN!

Usually, I'm the one against freaking out, and keeping our composure, but this-- this is not gonna work anymore...

This display against the very beatable Athletics even drew the interest of the great ESPN for once (which might as well be an unholy marriage between NESN and YES at this point). I was delighted that they chose to throw a little "Did You Know?" stat about our futility out there. Yeah, the Giants hadn't scored so little in so many games since like '49. It's just totally unreal.

Now that the dust has settled a little bit on the season, we can say for sure that the Giants' quick, heavy-hitting start out of the gate was indeed a fraud. That was us at our absolute best. Renteria and Rowand were raking, Bengie was kicking ass... that was the best that this team could play. It's like a chick peaking at age 16. That's all gone. Now, we're most likely witnessing the worst they can play. Not cool Giants.

The bullpen is not holding leads (or keeping games close), and our poor starters, who are still going strong, are being left high and dry, which does God-knows-what to their mental state and confidence. It's just not going well at all.

You know I'm not usually like this. You know... the whole negativity thing. Unfortunately there is little to no silver lining to be discovered right now... and management seems to have zero clue as to how to fix the problem.

Even now, after managing one run in three games, Sabean and Co. refuse to consider calling up Posey. There is such an obvious disconnect between those in charge of the organization and reality, that I wonder if we're all actually living in some dreadful, non-linear drama on ABC like FlashForward or Lost.

I know I'll take a little heat for the Lost rip, but that's not the point. The point is that our beloved team has a problem-- an obvious problem-- and it is simply not being addressed. Not only is it not being addressed, but there has been almost no attempt at addressation (that's not a word, but I think it should be).

It's quite simple really. Let me break it down so that even a caveman could do it.

We cannot score runs.

Solution?

Add hitter, change lineup. Score runs.

I'm tired of the money excuse for Aaron Rowand and Bengie Molina. Yes, they are gamers, and I like their effort and veterany-ness, but they aren't playing well. Just because these guys (and Renteria) are making too much money, doesn't mean they get a free pass. If I'm in charge of the Giants, this is what I do until DeRosa gets back, and Posey at catcher full time be damned. Bengie is still a good bat. We're trying to win, remember? And I know this would never happen in a million years, but does it not make sense? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?




1) Andres Torres CF
2) Freddy Sanchez 2B
3) Pablo Sandoval 3B
4) Aubrey Huff LF
5) Buster Posey 1B
6) Juan Uribe SS
7) Bengie Molina C
8) Nate Schierholtz RF

Yeah, there could be a couple flip-flops in the order, but how on earth is that worse than the BS being run out there right now? I'm sorry, but the longer management waits on Posey, the further we will slip into mediocrity. Notice how good that lineup looks with no Aaron Rowand?

Hank Schulman of the Chronicle suggested today that "big changes" would be coming to the lineup. Oh yeah? If Bochy considers this "big changes", then I'm a monkey's uncle. From The Splash:

"This is how it might work until left fielder Mark DeRosa returns: Freddy Sanchez would move to third base, allowing Juan Uribe to play second now that shortstop Edgar Renteria is back. (Alternatively, Uribe could play third and Sanchez could stay at second.) Pablo Sandoval would shift from third base to first base, and Aubrey Huff would move to left field. Andres Torres will play right, leaving John Bowker and Nate Schierholtz on the bench."

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Basically, if I'm following this correctly, to solve the problem of not hitting, they've decided to move Huff from his best position to one of lesser skill, move Freddy Sanchez to a position of lesser skill, put our "mega-super-ultra" utilityman Uribe at Sanchez's position, and add Edgar Renteria to the lineup.

Excuse me while I scream into a pillow.

We all must admit to ourselves that Posey may not be the answer. It's possible that with the pressure and inexperience, he could crack. Remember, he only got two hits in 17 ABs and looked overmatched at the plate while briefly up last year. Obviously it's a small sample size, and he will rake at some point, but we can't just add Buster to the big league lineup and assume we'll start scoring like the Phillies.

And people, as tempting as "name-brand" veterans like Pat Burrell, Jermaine Dye, and Austin Kearns are, they are not the answer.

The answer, unfortunately lies in a trade, and the price will be steep. Someone near and dear to our hearts will have to be traded, and it will not be pretty at first, but it must be done. We will have to part with Madison Bumgarner and will have to include a Thomas Neal or a Brandon Crawford, or both. We have another 3-4 years to win with this group of pitchers, and we are well behind schedule in overall team development.

Also of utmost importance is to rid ourselves of Aaron Rowand. It is another article for another day, but if we were to eat $8MM of his deal for the remainder of his deal ($24MM), it would be better than having him on the roster, and crazily, it would save us $12MM total ($4MM/year). How sickening is that? But seriously. He's part of the problem, and is a big reason why we are financially constrained.

Anyway, let's all enjoy the day off from offensive mediocrity and pray that Bochy, Sabean, Neukom, and the rest of those bean counters stop acting like such a-holes and do what needs to be done.

What's not to love?

I don't mean to keep gushing like a North Hollywood white trash school girl looking at a Justin Bieber Dodgers billboard, but I just can't help it. I just love this Giants team. Maybe sometime soon I'll write something about home runs or stankeyes or cool shirts emblazoned with Krukowisms, but right now I just can't. I'm too excited.

I'm too excited about Timmy and Kung Fu, and even too excited about Rowand and Renteria. I just love this Giants team.

Now, it probably goes without saying that most people reading this already root for the Gyros. Then it probably goes down to about 80% of readers who actually really love the Giants. There is a difference however between loving the team you root for, and actually loving the roster, and the way they get things done-- a big difference.

None of us really loved the 2009 Giants team. Sure it was gutsy, and did waaaay more than was expected of it, but Lord knows it was deeply flawed, and among the more frustrating things ever. Did we still love the Giants? Hell yeah we did. Just like we hated the Dodgers. That never changes.

The difference between 2009 and this 2010 season still in its early infancy, is that I think I may just love this roster and this team. Would I feel differently if we'd started 1-6? Probably. Who wouldn't? If we were to go 1-6 in our next 7 games, would I still love the roster? Yeah, I think I would, and here's my sick "under the influence of winning" rationalization.

There isn't a guy on this team that I hate. I mean, yeah, I really didn't like "The Retarded 'R' Brothers" of 2009 (Rowand & Renteria). Many of us used the words hate towards them. I was close. Hell, I think I even had a poll question up here last season asking if you "truly hated Edgar Renteria". Sick, I know, but look, could you blame us? Those two make way too much money and played horribly.

I don't think our "hatred" of those two guys was real. It was disgust and frustration, but I think when fans truly hate a ballplayer, they cannot be forgiven and cannot achieve new life with that fanbase. Think Milton Bradley being run out of Wrigley; now that's some serious hate right there. Think Stephen Jackson and how he left the Warriors.

Back to Rowand and Renteria's situation, which is very similar to another guy you know.

May I present to you Barry Zito as exhibit A. He's still borderline with some folk, but he's managed to somehow resurrect his Giant career for the most part in a matter of 25 or so starts. Plus, he plunked Prince Fielder and is now a supposed "leader in the clubhouse".

Remember how much we "hated" Zito?

We didn't care what happened to him. We wanted his contract bought out, we wanted him in the bullpen, we wanted him in Fresno... just anywhere but Mays Field. It was honestly the closest thing to hatred I've seen since "The Great Lunatic Fringe/Armando Benitez Revolt of Twenty-ot-Seven".

The point is, when players begin to perform at an acceptable level, they instantly become likeable, or at least tolerable. With Renteria opening the season at a .440 clip and hitting that dong the other day against Atlanta, I'm thiiiiiiiissssss close to already forgiving and forgetting. Same thing with Rowand. He still swings at a lot of crap, but dude, after his 0-10 start in Houston to open the season, guess what he's hitting. Seriously, guess.

Aaron Rowand is hitting .435 since those first two games. Not only that, but he's even knocked in a few runs.

What I'm trying to say here is that with Zeets, Row, and Edgar on their way to being embraced by Giants Nation, there's no one left to dislike, and by that logic, you like the rest of the roster. Right?

No one screams "Freakin Bum!" at you when you peruse the roster. Billy Mota? He's been pretty solid so far. A.U. Velez? Guy's funny looking and we don't know what we're getting from him, but hey he hit that double the other day! Bowker? Schierholtz? Whiteside? Huff? Wellemeyer? They're all okay. See what I mean?

It just struck me during the shellacking of the Buckos on Monday. These guys are just fun to root for and to watch play. Sandoval is just plain hilarious in every way, plus he's not off-balance anymore (which scared me the other day if you'll recall). Bengie is also amusing in his own way, and he's hitting like the pressure is off. Huff is like a walking comedy act, and I have a feeling he's going to be a KNBR staple at some point this season. And that's without even mentioning what a pleasure it is to watch this pitching staff go to work.

Anyway, I hope you'll forgive my gushing over this team. I can't help it. If you have a more cynical view of things and would rather focus on the past or on how many games we've played thus far, please, I encourage you to seek your fan-perspective blogging from another site.

Around here, I love this team, and I don't care who knows it.

A special win... for a special team?

Woooohoooo!

Wow. That. Was. A. Doozy!

I can't remember a cooler, more extreme home opener than this one here. The Giants' 4-0 record notwithstanding, there seems to be something pretty special about this team in these early days of the 2010 season.

I know, I know. It's 4 games, and 9 times out of 10 Renteria doesn't hit that walkoff dong in the ninth inning. There are also a number of concerns that I still have about certain guys. But I can't help but feel that there's something different about this team.

They just seem more confident; more ballsy I guess.

If you look at the difference between this year's team and the guys we had last year, there really are only a few differences. Yes we brought in DeRosa and Huff, and they seem to be solid additions, but the real differences are the two guys that were already here; two guys earning like $20MM between them.

Edgar Renteria and Aaron Rowand are officially the X-Factors for this 2010 team. In the Astros series, as well as the first game of the Braves series, these two nutsacs have been the difference-- there's simply no denying it. And how ironic is it that two guys we've absolutely loathed the most were the two guys to win the game today? Little by little, they are chipping away at the hatred.

As I mentioned two posts ago, Renteria really looks like a beast among boys out there right now and appears to be the same player who had a .330 season for the Braves in '07. Lefty Malo mentioned it on twitter during the game, and I think he said it best. Something along the lines of, "Even without the HR Renteria hit, he looks like the best hitter out there. Good approach, on balance, and not pushing."

Even though Edgar's dong was his first extra base hit of the season, I'd be content if he hit .300 this season with nothing but singles. Seriously.

As for Aaron Rowand, he's still the same guy he was. Yes, he's 15 pounds lighter, but he's still reaching for balls out of the strike zone and swinging at first and second pitches far too often. The only difference seems to be that some of his balls are finding holes. Maybe the lost weight is helping him, who knows. All I know is that he is still frustrating me in half to two thirds of his at bats, and pleasantly surprises me with hits in the rest. Hey, I guess that's what a .270 hitter looks like.

I have to say, although some of you may call me nuts, that the guy who concerns me most right now is Pablo Sandoval. Part of me thinks that maybe he's starting to believe his own press clippings and is basking in the adoration and success he's had thus far.

The garbage he's swinging at and extreme lack of discipline at the plate appears to me to be worse than what he was doing last year. I don't know. Maybe I'm nuts, and I believe he'll find a groove sometime soon, but he's scaring me a little bit. He seems off balance, and has yet to really barrel up a couple line drives. He's finding holes and dropping in some bloops, but his RBI groundout today was not a good at bat.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on the Panda, I'm just pointing out that pitchers are starting to figure out that he really will swing at everything, and he'll do so at the expense of his power and balance. He'll settle down a little, but right now, he's a little all over the place.

Back to the team as a whole though.

Does anyone else feel like we're well into the season? Like as if we're already heading into the home stretch? Maybe it's because this is most excited we've been about this team in years, but there's already a different feel about this team and even amongst fans.

Anyway, we've got two more against Los Bravos, and we must try to remember that we're only 4 games into a long ass season. It was a sweet win that really helps boost the swagger of the team and fires up Giants Nation. In addition, the Braves, who played a night game in the ATL on Thursday and arrived at SFO around 2:30am, are flat worn out. They were already behind on sleep, then they had to dog out a 13 inning loss. You can't tell me that doesn't already put us at a significant advantage on Saturday.

If I was a betting man, I take Wellemeyer and the Giants on Saturday to make us 5-0.

PS: Let's see if we can get Jason Heyward to upgrade his Golden Sombrero on Friday into a Platinum one on Saturday. I'm taking bets on how fast the notoriously horrendous bandwagoning Braves fans hop off his train when he inevitably struggles. I'm setting the over/under at May 20th. Any takers?+

PSS: Obviously Steve Young, Jerry Rice as well as Kirk Reuter in the stands were the extra mojo we needed to win. Obviously...

So far, pretty damn good

So? Whaddaya think?

Was all my (and possibly your) optimism unfounded? Things are clicking, and this team appears to have left Scottsdale ready to deal and rake.

And yes, I did predict the sweep of the Astros right here.

The Astros are not exactly a stiff test, but what they've been to the Giants is twofold. Firstly, they were a perfect team to warm up against without being a real threat. Secondly, they provided an opportunity to last year's stiffs and this year's hopefuls to get off on the right frickin foot.

Even more so than Aaron Rowand, Edgar Renteria's scorching start has to be taken seriously. While Row had a few hits and ribeye steaks in Wednesday's finale, we all know that his lack of discipline and approach at the plate leaves us all uneasy... seemingly constantly. Renteria, on the other hand, excites me.

Last season was unacceptable on so many fronts for the Colombian vet. It was just so inexcusable that he was allowed to play so terribly for so long last year when management knew he was injured.

For what it's worth though, he deserves "gamer points" for playing hurt, never once speaking to the media about it, and doing his best. Gamer points or not though, he still has a lot to prove to Giants fans who at this point still have him in their crosshairs.

In this opening series we appear to have seen the old Edgar Renteria-- as opposed to the "Old Balls" Renteria of '09. In the past three days, I've seen flashes of the guy who has four .300+ average seasons under his belt. And hell, I've even seen some solid defense from him.

We'd all love to have a guaranteed beast out there at SS and in the second spot, but we all know that Rich Aurilia circa 2001 is not walking through that door. What we potentially have here is an aged version of the 2007 Edgar Renteria, who hit .332.

Trust me, that's miles better than the antique version we got in '09.

I know it's optimistic, but hell, why can't I be? The guy went 5-5 on Wednesday, and appears to be totally healthy. Honestly, he looks nothing like the player we knew.

And let's keep in mind that we shouldn't be discriminatory in our optimism either. Many of us keep saying, "Well Aubrey Huff is only one year removed from a huge season."

I know I've said that...

Well, Edgar is two years removed from a huge season. Hey, just saying...

The other aspects of the team speak for themselves. I really don't see a need right now to comment too much on the pitching. Lincey is a monst. HurriCAIN Matt is a stud (shame he got the ND though), and Brian Wilson looks like he's trying to commit involuntary manslaughter out there with his fastball.

The one guy who really deserves plaudits thrown his way is Barry Zito. I'm allllmost the point where I'm taking his excellent starts for granted... as if it would be unusual for him to suck.

Lest we forget that he's been garbage early in the previous three seasons for us (in addition to other parts of the season too!). With this in mind, getting 6 shutout innings from Zeets is like melting cheese over the entire team, it just makes it SO. GODDAMN. GOOD.

(Even with those asinine striped socks...)

Anyway, I hope you all make it out to one of the Atlanta games this weekend, crank the John Fogerty, Kenny Rogers, and Alabama, and start to get fired up...

...because I think we are in for one epic season here boys and girls!.

---------------------------------------------

Notes & Thoughts

-- Atta boy Johnny Bowker. The guy appears to be for real. And who told you so?

-- Good to see the bench guys like A.U. Velez, Whiteside, Schierholtz, and Ishikawa contribute. Good to get 'em all off the schneid at once.

-- Looks like we're going to see a pattern of defensive replacements every 7th inning if we have a lead. Ishikawa takes over for Huff at 1B and Schierholtz takes over in RF for Bowker. The move I don't understand is A.U. Velez taking over for DeRosa in LF. Yes, he's faster, but is The Pharaoh a better outfielder? Really friggin questionable. However, I do like the "WE PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!" approach by Bochy to take zero chances of losing any games because of defense. Hey if we had won 4 or 5 more games last year, that woulda meant playoffs.

-- Sammy Gervacio sucks at life. His little "Voodoo/Santeria priest at an animal sacrifice ceremony" bit is already old, and I'm almost glad that he had to leave the game on Wednesday with an apparent shoulder injury. It's unacceptable to do that crap out there, and the act is not appreciated by the opposition let alone his own team.

Think about it. If you're the Astros, you've got some cocky punk out there doing a street performer bit before every pitch? You're not going to come sprinting to the guy's side when an opposing player finally tells him to knock it off.

That crap isn't baseball. Go back to the Dominican League if you want to dance around like a jerk. That doesn't fly up here. If you cannot see this video above, click here.

Also, check out my interview with the Astros' Bud Norris if you haven't already done so. Come on, how many fan blogs get to talk to real major leaguers? Haha.

Let's hope Hollywood Norris can stop the Astros' skid against Philly on Friday.

MLB Extra Innings is on a free preview, so you can watch ANY GAME YOU WANT! IT'S MAGICAL!

With Second Cy, is Timmy destined for the Hall?

Wooohooooo!

It's not exactly a deep, unthinkable playoff run, but this sort of thing gives us all the fist-pumping warm and fuzzies inside, doesn't it?

Timmy's our boy, and now, perhaps the world is truly put on notice. This guy is on track for not only an all-star career, not only a remarkable career, but potentially a hall of fame career. Baseball's been making America great for well over 100 years, and there have only been a handful of guys who have accomplished what Timmy has-- and they sure haven't done it by age 25! Check out this list of multiple winners:

Roger Clemens (7), Randy Johnson (5), Steve Carlton (4), Greg Maddux (4), Pedro Martinez (3), Sandy Koufax (3), Tom Seaver (3), Bob Gibson (2), Tom Glavine (2), Denny McLain (2), Gaylord Perry (2), Bret Saberhagen (2), Johan Santana (2), and...

TIM EFFING LINCECUM (2)!

What an incredible, mind-blowing list that this kid is now a part of. Of this list, only Denny McLain and Bret Saberhagen are non hall of famers. Maddux, Glavine, Clemens, and Johnson are as good as in, and Johan Santana may damn get in as well someday.

So, being conservative (one of the things I do best), and saying Johan doesn't get in, and those other four beasts of the 90's do, Timmy has an 79% chance of having a hall of fame career. Complex mathematical formula: 14 multiple Cy winners (other than Timmy), 11 are in or will be in Cooperstown.

That's right. Isn't it incredible?

What else is remarkable, is that Timmy is the first pot-smoking multiple Cy winner that looks like he should be playing bass in a metal band. He's also the only multiple Cy Young winner to climb on his roof in order to get the cell service necessary to hear the news. Hilarious. Trust me, people like him so much more for this stuff. The personality, the shoulder length hair, the flip flops, his windup... his edginess may have given him the edge on this award.

What surprises me this year, is that all around filthy domination won out (rightfully) over wins. Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright had incredible years, and any other season, they coulda/shoulda won it. However, they were on a team that averaged nearly 1 run per game more, and for all intents and purposes, these two Red Birds cancelled each other out.

Interestingly enough, Wainwright got the most first place votes, but Timmy got the most pointage overall.

The side effect of Timmy's epic domination of the world is that he now has an even bigger bargaining chip at the negotiating table and in this offseason's arbitration hearing. He was already due a raise of nearly $9MM to begin with even without the second Cy. Now, his slimy agent (who knows how slimy. I just consider all agents slimewads because Scott Boras and Drew Rosenhaus ruined it for their kind) will be able to say the following:

"Tim is disgusting filth, and there is only one guy in this league with two Cy Youngs right now. His name is Johan and he made $20 million dollars in 2009."

Sooooooo Giants fans, you see why recklessly overspending for Jason Bay or Matt Holliday may be a problem. Timmy is due raises through arbitration in 2010 and 2011. Then... he is a dreaded unrestricted free agent. What the Giants need to do-- and you should be praying that they do this at least once a week in your spare time-- is offer this guy a market-level longterm contract before his arb years are up. He's already going to be setting arbitration records and making $10 plus.

Although Timmy's agent has indicated that they are just going to play out the arbitration years on a year-to-year basis, it certainly would behoove the Gyros to at least offer Timmy a contract now that extends a year or two beyond the arb years. It's tough to turn down for a player because of the security, but at the same time, this is the guy we call The Freak.

Anyway, congrats to Lincey, and I hope you all are ready for a responsible, well-intentioned offseason expenditure period, haha.


PS: The Blue Bastards signed Rafael Furcal this past offseason to a deal that averages $10MM per for 3 seasons. We've all had our moments of hatred for Edgar Renteria's lack of production and his 2 yr./$16MM contract, but for the money, the Dodgers got screwed:

Furcal: .269, 92R, 47 RBI, 12 SB, .335 OBP
Renteria: .250, 50R, 48 RBI, 7 SB, .307 OBP

Obviously Furcal is the better player, but not by thaaaaat much. The difference is, we're out from Edgar's $8MM after next year, and the Dodgers have another year, plus a 4th year that vests with 600 plate appearances at $12MM.

Suckers!

Juan Uribe, the team's SMVH

Sorry to anyone who's getting this twice. I'm having a big problem with Feedburner. Anyone know any alternatives?


I've been thinking of writing this for a couple weeks now, and of course, the people who actually get paid for this-- Andrew Baggarly of the Merc's Extra Baggs-- beat me to it.

Nonetheless, it's a legitimate take that many of us have had for a couple months now-- that is of course that Juan Uribe has been the team's second most valuable hitter; the SMVH.

Since he worked his way into steady playing time, Uribe has simply been marvelous in so many ways. The guy plays three positions fairly well and can do it at any time. Sure he boots a ball every now and then, but the sheer lineup flexibility he has afforded Bochy and the adhesive properties that he adds to this squad have far outweighed his 9 errors and range issues.

In addition, as Baggarly points out, the guy is a clubhouse delight, much like Sandoval is:

"He keeps the clubhouse loose. He interacts with everyone on the team, not just the Latino players. He has a special brand of humor that you can’t put into words."

So his teammates love him, he helps us out in the field... geez there was one other thing... God what was it? Hitting? Yeah, that sounds right. His hitting.

I remember Juan's days with the White Sox-- particularly 2005 when they won it all. My buddy had Extra Innings for dish and we both delighted in watching Hawk Harrelson, Darin Jackson and the White Sox whenever the Giants weren't on. Say what you will about the homers on the South Side, but they are hilarious and awesome and I won't take that back. I also remember Uribe's play; free swinging, cannon of an arm, flashing a big goofy grin on a fairly consistent basis.

In fact, while playing short for the Sox, Juan put up some sick numbers. From 2004 through 2007, he averaged 20 roundtrippers and 71 ribeye steaks. Not exactly A-Rod territory, but he was no slouch.

In comparison, another shortstop, someone you may have heard of, Edgar Renteria, averaged 11 HR and 67 RBI. Of course, Renteria's .291 average over that period was a full 40 points higher than Juan's, but still. It's ironic, because Renteria is the guy with the 2 year guaranteed deal worth $9MM per, and Uribe got a non-guaranteed deal worth one measly million during spring training.

More tangibly, Uribe has been a godsend in many games this year, especially since mid May. I mean, the guy only had 25 ABs in all of April. Now look at him. He's ranked #9 in Yahoo fantasy leagues in the last month (Bengie #146, Kung Fu #147) putting up gaudy figures (7 HR, 20 RBI, .357 avg, 1.090 OPS). I know fantasy baseball isn't a great indicator team success, but numbers are numbers and he's been keeping the ship afloat almost singlehandedly at times.

Granted, he's only hitting .214 with runners in scoring position this season, but he seems be constantly involved in rallies and random run production. Plus, whenever he hits a home run, I have to hit the replay button on my remote. They are just a thing of beauty.

What I guess I'm really trying to say is... RE-SIGN THIS GUY.

He deserves at least a 2 year deal worth $10MM. In a world where Renteria is making $9MM and Dave Roberts is making nearly that amount for watching TV, a guy like Uribe deserves it. And don't think for a second that other teams haven't noticed what he's done. He's an affordable bottle of glue and lightning that any team would love to have.

It is even more prudent that he returns due to health concerns of Freddy Sanchez. If indeed Sanchez does come back, the Gyros need infield insurance to help us all sleep at night. Plus this continues our lineup flexibility into 2010 and perhaps can give Renteria few days off (or force him more like it).

Plus...

We were able to bring back the ooooooooo! reeee-baaaay! chant.

And you can't put a price tag on that.


PS: BRUTAL WILSON, BRUTAL.

Tied for the Wild Card: It's a whole new ballgame

I'd like to begin by saying the following:

If it were even possible for me to love the game of baseball and the San Francisco Giants any more, well it happened.

I have re-fallen in love with this game and this team.

It's some serious man love.

What we've seen from this ragtag group of youngsters, out-of-their-prime veterans, and scrappy perfomers is simply mind boggling.

More specifically, if your brooms are still in their closets, you should really consider taking them out and bungee cording them to your mailboxes in front of your house... perhaps attach them to your roofracks of your cars as you drive around; an even more redneck version of the window flag.


5-1 on the Homestand, a sweep of the Rocks

Lincecum gave us what we needed on Friday. A true Timmy-esque shutdown job.

Zito threw the gem of his tumultuous Giants career on Saturday, going 8.1 innings of one run ball. He was truly masterful, save of course the bomb he gave up to the Hawpester in the 9th.

No one knows what Romo and Affeldt were doing in that game, but we pulled it off, and it was amazing.

Kung Fu's HR's on Friday and Saturday were incredible, especially considering his injury.

Things just looked like they were inevitably going the Giants way, even with the blowout they sustained against Arizona on Thursday and the near 9th inning meltdown on Saturday. There was a certain confidence about these guys that somehow permeated the physical and media barriers that separate us from the team. It's like exuberant confidence by osmosis.

This team is the embodiment of what the baseball gods smile upon from their perch.


Sunday Best

From the beginning of Sunday's game, I will admit, I didn't feel a good vibe. Cain did not look sharp from the get go. The abominable call at first base with Cain covering didn't help my uneasiness.

Then there were those back to back jacks from Helton and Tulo.

I was squirming in a major way at that point.

When you're only down 1 game in the Wild Card race, it seems difficult to have two season-turning plays. Of course that is generally reserved for seasons that need to be turned around.

Not in this case.

The oft-maligned Edgar Renteria, a guy making $8 million this year and next, a guy that Sabean haters target mercilessly, showed up in a big way.

Before his at bat in the 6th inning, I stared at the television graphic of his stats with serious disdain. 3 home runs.

I muttered, "This would be a great time for your 4th homer you bum."

Boom. RBI Double off the wall. Giants down 4-2. I'll take that.

The bottom of the 7th came around with the Gyros down 5-2.

One thing led to another, and Edgar came up with the sacks full of Gigantes.

Instead of saying out loud what I'd muttered an inning before, I simply thought about it; and I definitely wasn't the only one. Bases loaded, down 3? What else do you think about?

Boom, just as we were all praying for the unthinkable, there it was. Grand Salame time. He almost hit the ambulance parked behind the left field wall!

Not only did this incredibly clutch swing of the bat give us a 6-5 lead, it renewed all kinds of hopes and dreams. Naturally, it renewed our dream of winning the game and sweeping the Rockpile for a share of the wild card. More importantly though, it renewed our faith in a player who for so long this season has disappointed us in so many ways.

Renteria has not been horrible. He has had timely singles and such. He's made a couple good plays. He went after Russell Martin in a brouhaha.

His best quality, not surprisingly, is his "clutchness". Look at this magnificent table below that I've put together for you. If you are reading this in an email newsfeed, you have to click here to see it.



Don't freak out, those stats are correct. A lot of the situations overlap.

But seriously, look at those numbers. Obviously your approach at the plate is going to be different without runners on, as you'll swing aggressively, but c'mon, there's no denying that this man does his best work when it counts.

Renteria has 24 ribeye steaks this year with runners in scoring position (RISP) and two outs. That, my friends, is the definition of clutch.

The game, and more importantly the season changed today with one swing of the bat from Edgar.


Quirky game notes and observations:

-- If you didn't catch this stat on CSN or in the papers, Barry Zito is now 105-4 when he gets 4 runs of support or more.

-- Zito this year has received 1 run or less of support in 12 out of his 26 starts and has received ZERO runs of support in 9 starts. Unconscionable.

-- Zeets is 4-2 with a 1.77 ERA since the all star break. His last two starts have been against the Rocks, and has combined for 14.1 innings, 1 ER, and 11K. That's a 0.62 ERA. Yeehaw.

-- Zeets got a curtain call. Well deserved.

-- How often are we going to score 9 runs when Kung Fu goes hitless?

-- Aaron Rowand walked. Alert the media.

-- Affeldt's recovery on Sunday to escape a jam and strike out both Garrett Atkins and Carlos Gonzalez was absolutely monstrous. He was able to shake off an ugly performance in Saturday's 9th inning to throw some absolute filth up there. The backdoor curveball to punch out Atkins was disgusting, and his subsequent ring-up job of Gonzalez was enough to fire anyone up. Especially him.

If you couldn't tell he was pumped up to exorcise some mound demons in the 8th inning, well, then you were blind. He was screaming and pumping his fists in a way that would make K Rod and Papelbon look like shamed altar boys. Rock on dude.

-- Eli Whiteside? Absolute Beast. Bengie Who?

-- Ryan Rohlinger's 2 RBI single on a 1-2 pitch was absolutely huge. Busted it wide open.

-- Alex Hinshaw coming in to a huge game in the 6th inning? Not so good. Bochy, come on man... you knew better than that. If you wanted to get his feet wet for the '09 season... you accomplished that. They're so wet that he's got a case of trench foot. Not a wise substitution.

-- Anyone remember Ryan Garko and Freddy Sanchez? Our two huge acquisitions have been nowhere to be found. With Sanch on the DL and Garks mired in a slump, they've been non-existent. The very guys that were here all along are the ones winning the games. Funny how that happens.

-- Garko hasn't started since the 26th, and is 1-10 since August 24th.

-- Was it me, but did Garko's shades today look like some kind of fashion glasses? They had shiny gold stems. Almost as if they were daytripping Ray-Bans or something. WTF Garks? If you need a tip for glasses, go with the extreme orange mirrored Fred Lewis glasses or the transparent yellow/orange NRA militia glasses that Jeff Kent used to wear.

-- Speaking of Jeff Kent. Good to see that son of a bitch back at the yard in a real hat. We will never forget that you played for the Dodgers, but we will forgive you. Kent was an absolute beast for us, and is a future hall of famer. I'm glad we've all reconciled. They put his picture up on the Wall of Fame with his moustache. Excellent. True sleaze.

-- With the stakes so high, have you ever in your life seen so many mound visits between Bochy, Dave Righetti, Jim Tracy, and Bob Apodaca? I think we're talking record for a 3 game series. I swear there was a mound visit per inning. Not even including the catchers.

-- Brian Wilson threw 4 pitches to Troy Tulowitzki on Sunday. All four were 100 mph. I was counting. Pure filth.

-- If you were on a hike in Colorado and saw Todd Helton emerge from a sheer cliffside with a bloody elk carcass strung over his shoulders and a .300 Magnum elephant gun slung over his arm, would you be surprised? Mountain Man. Why he's not Coors Light's national spokesperson is beyond me.

-- Remember how Clint Barmes hurt himself a few years ago, derailing a .400 season to that point? He was carrying huge pieces of vennison up his stairs with Todd Helton and fell down. Love it.

-- New idea for a reality show. Bear Grylls, Todd Helton, and Ted Nugent shoot guns and eat wild game. That's it.

Huge series coming up. Three in Philly, three in Milwauks. It's go time boys. The road is where the playoffs are made! We come back to play the streaking Padres and the Blue Bastards de Los Angeles.


I will leave you with some inspirational quotes from Krook & Kuip from the postgame wrap on CSN.

Kuip:

"For those who proclaimed Tuesday morning that this team was dead, and it was over for them... they're gonna have to try again.

Krook:

"The clown that said that needs to eat his words."

"I've got two words to say about this weekend: I'M IN!"



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49ers fans in need of a laugh about the Crabtree situation need to click here. Hilarious.